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Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:28 pm |
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Well, we are down to the final week and to be honest, I really don't know if I am going to make it! I am a wreck right now. My hands are constantly shaking and I have a headache that I cannot get rid of and just all around stressed to the max. Oh my gosh, I just don't know how I am going to make it. Yesterday was my son's last day of work and he is going to be home, well don't know about actually being home home, but he isn't working this next week, so am hoping to be able to spend some time with him. Last night he and I were home together and we just kind of stretched out on the couches and watched the movie "8 Seconds". We are some ice cream and popped some popcorn and just chilled for a bit. If it hadn't been so late when he got home from work, we were going to play some battleship, but since I had been sick and everything, we decided to lay around and watch a movie. No lights on, just the fireplace and the TV. I just don't know what I am going to do after next week! My husband and I have been pricing airline tickets to TX to go see his graduation, but not sure if we both are going to be able to afford to go or if it will just be me. We will just have to see when it gets closer to the time.
Just wanted to give an update. Need to go cook my son some "Kansas" catfish for dinner. (oh that is just fish that my dad had caught in KS and gave us some).
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2nband
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Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 4:46 pm |
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2nd...I feel for you. I don't know if I could leave him out of my sight for the next week. My thoughts are with you both!
_________________ If you think you can, you can...if you think you can't, your probably right...
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Morningstarr430
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:14 am |
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Thanks Morningstar...I came to work this morning thinking I wish the work day was already over so I could go home and spend time with him. I really just don't know what I am going to do when he leaves. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I can just feel my heart breaking more and more as each day passes. My heart palputrations have been worse, but the doctor won't increase my medication right now, my hands shake, my stomach is in knots, I am just a mess all the way around. I knew this day was coming and thought I had prepared myself for it. I just did not know how much it was going to affect me when the time came. I know when he boards that play, he will be leaving as a teen and the next time I see him, he will be a man and that is so hard for me to fathom. Then, after he graduates basic, it will be another 5 to 6 months before I see him again!
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2nband
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:27 am |
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My heart is breaking for you!! I had trouble recently when my son just moved to another university only 180 miles away!!
Take solace in the fact that you have raised him well...this is his decision and something he feels the need to do. All you can do is be supportive..I know he knows you love him and worry. I will keep him in my prayers...God Speed his safe return.
Try to keep yourself calm...you don't want him to leave worried about your health.
_________________ If you think you can, you can...if you think you can't, your probably right...
http://lifewithyourcredit.yesdebtfree.org/
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Morningstarr430
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:14 am |
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Take a deep breath!!! I know you are scared and worried right now, but getting yourself sick won't help him or you!!
When my son was 19, he moved to NC to where his dad lived--I thought I would die. It was 2 years before I saw him--no that about killed me--because neither one of us could afford tickets.
He lived there for over 5 years, then came back. What a find young man he turned out to be!
I pray for your son to be safe and return safely to you, and that God gives you the peace you and your family will need.
Enjoy the moment, you can worry and get nervous later!!..Take Care..karen
_________________ As long as you are alive, there's always hope
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Bossy4455
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:22 pm |
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Thanks so much! I know I will get through this, but it is just so hard to let him go. I feel like every day another piece of my heart breaks apart. It helps hearing how other people have gotten through this. Right now I wish I could turn back time to where he was little and keep him here with me. Nothing like a babbling mother, huh? LOL I know after next week I will be better, then I will be counting down the days until I see him at graduation. One way or another, I am going to be there!!! Then I will have to say goodbye again until he finishes Tech School and then he will be home for 2 weeks.
Thanks everyone for listening and understanding this babbling mom! Love you guys!!
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2nband
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:06 pm |
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I feel for you. I have not been in that situation, yet. My daughter is 18 and she graduates in june. She is already talking about moving out. To me I feel she is not ready. But I think it's me that's not ready. Even though she has such an attitude right now that I could just wring her neck, I think I would be lost without her here.
But I guess we have to look at it this way, we did our job, we raised them the best we could. Taught them what we thought they needed to know to be out in the big world on their own. Now we have to be strong and just hope they remember what they learned. You are just being a normal mom. You will never stop worrying about them. He knows you love him and thats what he will bring along with him. My thoughts are with you.
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puddlejmpr
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:20 am |
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I think that is part of what I feel, that he isn't ready to leave the nest. It is hard to look at him see him grown, I still see my little blue eyed boy. It is so hard remember that he is 18 (1/2 as he reminds me. LOL) Like you, puddlejmpr, I want to wring his neck sometimes and think how quiet it will be and how the 2 kids won't fight, and then I think about not listening to his crazy laugh and his smart-a$$ remarks and he and I chasing each other and play fighting and beating him in Electronic Battleship and him accusing me of cheating....just all of it and I just don't know what I am going to do. Yes, my daughter is there, but right now she is so into talking on the phone to all her friends, (I think that phone has become a part of her ear! LOL) and all the things she is involved in....I get lonely thinking about it. She and I do spend time together and have a good time and do things, but those times when she is doing other things, well....
I just sit and remember all the things my son has did from the time he was a baby and think about all his firsts and know deep down, this is another first for him, (and me), but a first I am not really ready for. Yet, through all my sadness there is so much pride! I look at all his accomplishments, his kind heartedness, how he managed school-marching band- and a job all at one time, how he helps his sister (when they aren't arguing. The pride and love I felt the day he raised his right hand and swore to protect and defend knowing that this was something he had been talking about doing since he was 4th or 5th grade and has never strayed from it. The pride I feel when I hear him talking about buying his sister her first car and telling me not to worry that he will always take care of me. The pride of him always willing to donate blood when he can and help the neighbors. (Where we use to live the older gentleman that lived behind us had lost his wife right after we moved in and Kyle us to go over and mow his yard or shovel off his deck or whatever he needed done, and would not ask for a dime. Where we live at now the old man that lives across the street from us, even though he is strange, his lawn mower broke down and Kyle went over on his own and finished mowing it with a push mower and asked for nothing.) These things make my heart swell with so much pride and love for him. Now there are times he and I can get into some major fights, but he knows when he has pushed me too far and will back off. He worries if any of us are not home when he thinks we need to be and he really worries about me and the health problems I have had. He is always giving his sister advice about boys and has even warned a few about doing anything to hurt his sister. Oh my gosh....I am really missing him already and he isn't even gone yet!!
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2nband
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:30 pm |
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2nband my heart goes out to you. Just reading your posts has made my heartache! My daughter turns 2 on February 8th. I just found out last week that I'm 5 weeks pregnant. I've sat & thought about when she turns 18 & leaves home...it brings tears to my eyes just as what you have written has brought tears to my eyes. The pride & love that you have for your son is truly amazing in today's society. I only hope that I get to experience those same joys & wonders with my children as you have experienced with yours. Keep you chin up & your head held high...you did an awesome job raising your children...you should be proud of yourself! All the love in the world & pass on my thanks to your son for what he is about to sacrifice for my freedom & the freedoms of our country!
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lmk3524

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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 5:29 pm |
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Thanks lmk3524. My kids have been a blessing. They have been my strength though a lot of hard times, times I thought about giving up, but because of them I kept going.
Kids are a gift from heaven and I thank God every day for mine. I was in a bad marriage and these 2 are the only really good things that came out of it.
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2nband
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:11 pm |
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I know it is hard to let them go. I still get weepy when mine hang up after a call. When mine was in basic, I kept telling myself I did the best I could and he is a great kid and all will go well. The weeks before were rough and the weeks during were tougher becuase he could not call..after basic...he has called every day.
I remember going off to college and thinking I owned the world and now it is his turn. It was hard to let him go but so very exciting to watch the child I raised become the man I knew he could be.
You all talk about you children and their accomplishments which in reality are your accomplishments. You all sound like really great parents who have raised some great kids. I feel the pride when I read each post. It is hard to let them go..but it is not forever and just as we have embarked on each journey in our lives...it is their turn. It is not easy...being a parent never is..but it is one hell of a ride and an awsome journey and none of us would trade that for anything in the world.
_________________ In life it doesn't matter
how hard you hit, it matters
how hard you get hit
and keep moving forward.
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RoxyNY
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Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:47 pm |
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No, I would not trade one moment. The job I have loved the most is being a mom...maybe not 100% the type of mom I wanted to be, but still love it.
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2nband
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:25 am |
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Not counting today, we have 5 days left.
I am not going to be worth a crap at work next week!!!
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2nband
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:52 pm |
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Keep your chin up & if you need a shoulder to lean on just post. We'll be here for you!!
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lmk3524

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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 1:50 pm |
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I have had a few spells today. People here are work are going to think I am a sap. I had to call my son a short time ago to tell him I loved him. I am missing him already and he isn't gone. My mascara has ran down my cheek, I don't have any powder and thank goodness I only have about 10 minutes left. Oh gosh, this hurts so bad.................
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2nband
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