Internet's first get-out-of-debt community - 128,000 members

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:16 am Subject: This is disturbing to me

I have gotten alot of PMs lately that have disturbed me. Some are from our new members, others from some that have been here a while. And in all of them are a common thread--

The new members are upset and afraid to post for fear of getting jumped on, made to feel stupid,or rudely talked to. The other memebrs are upset at this trend going on.

One new member "thanked" me for being so kind and helpful. While this made my day, it also made me sad. Sad that someone has to thank you for being kind-I though that was a given.

I'm not pointing fingers-just stating what is going on, and it's not just a few people saying this.

I guess my point is-let us all not forget where we came from-scared to death-can't eat or sleep, loosing our homes, securities,etc. When I came to this forum in Feb. of 06, never was I made to feel stupid or berated for asking or doing the wrong thing- quite the opposite- I was welcomed and my posts were answered over and over and over-what a mess I was.

The purpose of this Forum is to help and support others while giving them info on solutions there may be for them-or at least it is for me.

I have enough negative going on in my life- don't need it today, and if it gets negative, I sign off. Just my thoughts--Please don't make this a negative thread,it's not meant to be- just what can we all do to make this work and keep this community and "family" stronger..karen Very Happy

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:20 am Subject:

Karen I understand completely which was the reason I created the zero tolerance sticky here in the pub. I have gotten pm's from other mods and have forwarded some issues to admin dealing with this.

We got rid of a lot of negative energy in the past and it is high time we get back to why we are here and that is to give or receive help,not to judge anyone.

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:27 am Subject:

Thanks Cajun!! The disturbing thing is, it used to be anonymous guests saying this, but not anymore..karen

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:46 am Subject:

Ya know Karen when i first came here in June or July of 2006 I also, was very scared and very confused! I got loads of help and everyone was always very nice and supportive of me and my million questions. I know sometimes i asked the same questions over and over until i totally understood! Hell that's how we learn is by asking questions! Right? I also agree with u that NO one should be made to feel bad about being scared and not understanding what all this means! It is very confusing to the average person! (average here) Wink

I think everyone needs to remember that we were once there also, not all that long ago! Until we walk a mile in someone's shoes we can't know where they're coming from. I always try to be kind and understanding to new members and hope others do the same in the near future. It will make this experience for all of us a lot easier and knowledgable so in the future our new members will be able to help others as they were helped!
Plz let's all get on the right track and remember what brought each of us here to begin with!
Very Happy

Ang

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:48 am Subject:

And btw i'm SURE i drove cajun and lawstudent insane! Shocked

but they were patient and helped me loads and for that i am forever grateful to them!
Very Happy

Ang

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:01 am Subject:

Hun it takes more than one crazy woman to drive me insane as I already have two at home! Laughing

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:04 am Subject:

@ Cajun

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:07 am Subject:

Awww c'mon Cajun u know i was very close to driving u there! Wink

ha ha
thanks for being so patient with me Cajun!
Very Happy

Ang

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:09 am Subject:

Hey I enjoy shooting holes in lawyers papers and dear wife got a laugh out of it too.Now if I can find a lawyer who will take her on as a paralegal we would be set.

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:17 am Subject:

Gah! I had this pretty speech written up and it didn't happen because I hit the wrong button. SO!

I know that I come across at times as being rude, uncaring and uncompassionate. I try not to be rude, I do care and I have plenty of compassion but I am going to lay it how I see it from a collectors point of view. It's not a popular choice of career's but I can say in the 2 years I've decided this as my trade I've had 0 complaints or violations.

Debt isn't a pretty thing. People don't generaly like to talk about it or even want to think about it much when that happens. This site is very amazing. I really wish that there had been a place like this when I was in debt. I doubt I would have had such a big hole to fill up if there was.

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:32 am Subject:

FYI- I have not now, or ever had a problem with you, or your comments! You have been a big help to me and to others in understanding the other side, and to also help educate me in debt practices.

You know some people can take things wrong sometimes, but there is a diference when it is done to be mean or rude intentionally.

My best friend is a collector, and sounds alot like you- compassionate and caring-she has had no complaints either, and really worked to help others- much to her bosses' chagrin sometimes!!..karen

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:38 am Subject:

You all do such a great job and I want to thank each and every one of you. It is hard feeling helpless and I think you guys give great advice. There are so many posts.........was it always this much? I've only been on for a few months.

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:45 am Subject:

Glad you have gotten help mom!! The more people that register, the more posts there will be- but that's what makes this community great,and you get to learn about a variety of topics!..karen Very Happy

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:46 am Subject:

FYI - you break the mold. Or how about better saying that you are not the stereo-typical collector. You listen, you work with the caller.

I am sure if we hired some independent company to review all this, they could find some answer. Who knows. My best guess - maybe some stress.

Yet, I can't say this enough - remember we are reading the words in black and white (technically in #000000, #FFFFFF & #E9F9F5). Inflection is gone, so while I can say "Bossy, you suck", my inflection makes the difference. Like here:

youtube.com/watch?v=dyMSSe7cOvA

Same word - different meanings. Oh...and Bossy, you do suck. Smile

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:49 am Subject:

I sometimes think people forget that on this forum we can not be seen, no one can see our facial expressions and body language nor can they hear our tone of voice..and it is important to remember that. The only thing we have to convey those traits are emoticons which are nice but not the same. I know when I am typing a response I try to remember this. I try to remember the person does not know me, can not see me and they only have my words to see and words are powerful. Without being able to see the person, the words are left open to interpretation and sometimes things just look wrong when it was not the intent. I used to teach essay writing and it was very difficult to teach people to take the words from their brain and put them on paper and adequately convey in writing what they were trying to "say". I like to believe and it may sound niave to some, that that is one part of the problem here sometimes. I will admit that people can be mean but I hope that is the exception.