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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 8:56 pm Subject: "OUR" Story

While browsing through the "My Story" section of the forums, I was struck by how while everybody's story has its different actors and settings, the beginning and endings are almost always the same. It goes sorta like this:

#1--The need for more money. A need not uncommon to majority of people, I would imagine. The reason for the need are varied and range from careless spending to poor choices to illness to unemployment.

#2--This need leads to locating a source of money. Usually a job, but if your job isn't paying enough then it is borrowing from friends or using credit. This can go on indefinitely as long as there is a secondary source of funds to pay back loans and credit cards. The debt to income ratio can exceed greatly.

#3--Once these sources have been exhausted (or even when they were being used), the need for cash can lead to those horrible things called payday loans. This gives the debtor a feeling of being able to control his own debt. He is not asking a friend or family for help.

#4--When the need for money has reached the point of seeking one payday loan after payday loan to continue the cycle, then rock bottom has pretty much been hit. Sources of money have been exhausted and there seems to be no where to turn.

#5--Desperately seeking some way of solving this all-consuming problem, help is sought. The new millenium debtor seeks his answers through "THE INTERNET".

#6--His search leads him to this site, he receives valuable debt counseling and he begins to get off the endless cycle of indebtedness and begins to get control of his life. He will also want to continue his "recovery" and participate in this forum, much like the other members.

I am sure every one reading this can find something that they can identify within their own life. I hope newcomers will see this and realize our experiences can help them also break the cycle.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 10:30 am Subject:

Hi Lorri,

You have compiled these points so nicely. Guess, this is life. We all go through some problems in our life one way or the other. People whom we rely the most turn us down during hard times. It is during this time we lose our mental balance and accept anything that comes our way. These payday loan companies exist to do their business and since we don't have any options open in front of us, we go and take help from them. They are not doing any welfare to us. They are charging us for their services. When these companies realize that we don't have any other way out but to visit them again, they start taking advantage of our situation and charge excessively.

It is not only the payday loan companies that are benefiting from our situation. All financial institutions have more or less the same motives except for some relief organizations or alike.

When we are struck in hard times, we should have faith in us. We need to feel confident and explore our positive sides. Life teaches us many lessons and through these practical experiences, we will come out as better, independent souls. Life never stops! It goes on and on!

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 10:40 am Subject:

Beautifully said, Lorri! Smile

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 10:58 am Subject:

Such as life. My story is a little more unique. I never had payday loans, just a big pretentious dark cloud hanging over me.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 1:49 pm Subject:

Ari,

Didn't you ever get tempted to take a payday loan in the past? Most of us don't know the inside story of payday loans and fall within the catch. It's only after going through the experiences; we realize the pain within it.

Ari, I assume you are much disciplined when it comes to making monetary decisions. Were you like this from the beginning? Just curious to learn from someone more balanced in life!

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 2:47 pm Subject:

To tell you the truth John, I had never actually heard of payday loans until I joined this forum and later on started collecting them, so no, the thought to take one out had never crossed my mind.

In the beginning, I wasn't always so financially focused. When I was bussing tables and working at GNC, I would divi up my money into envelopes for different expenses at that time; Car insurance, car maintenance, high school dues, but if I was ever in a bad mood, I'd empty one of those envelopes and run off to the mall to try and cheer myself up with trinkets. I'd hate to think what could have happened had I had a credit card during those times! Then I became acquainted with my ex-husband's financial insanity, and it painted a picture of loans and credit cards as acid-spewing incendiary explosives.

After I squared away all of my debts, I opened up four separate credit card accounts, they all are generally at zero balance. I only use them for emergencies and holidays. I still grit my teeth when I pull one of them out for a purchase.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 4:20 pm Subject:

Well, Ari, you taught me something with your post here. A new lesson learnt on how to have a good budgeting is to make different envelopes and put the required cash into it at the beginning of the month. However, I will not try touching those envelopes during a bad mood.

I have some credit cards with me for regular use. But I ensure that everything is paid within the due date. My card is swiped only when I know that I have cash to pay it within the due date. Otherwise, I don't make the purchase. It's better to refrain from that product rather than paying extra on it in the form of added charges by the credit card company.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 4:44 pm Subject:

I like that envelope idea! I may have to give that a try. Smile

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 6:13 pm Subject:

Ari---As soon as you said about the envelope thing, it triggered a memory. When I was in high school, I babysat all the time--almost every Friday and Saturday night and sometimes during the week. I made 50 cents an hour!!! I had certain things I was always saving money for and would keep envelopes with labeled with what I was saving for. The biggest thing I ever saved my money for was my class ring which cost $25.20. I was religious about saving for stuff.

I kept up this method of saving until I was able to get a real job and savings account. I taught my daughter the same method.

Where did it all change? In my case, I think I started in with credit cards and forgot about being smart with money and everything just snowballed over the years. Many things came much too easy. I have just recently opened a savings account (first time in 25 years) and really hope I can save a small amount each month---It would make me feel so good.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 6:35 pm Subject:

I used envelopes because when I was bussing tables, I was paid in cash. Also, the reason why I always took to shopping as a stress reliever is because growing up poor, having things was unfamiliar to me. I felt a sense of entitlement to buy what I wanted with the money I earned. I always resented other kids, even my own best friend, whose parents paid their way through life and they never really had to work hard. I also felt anger towards my parents for making me have to work those awful slave jobs. I felt like I never had my dignity.

Guest · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 7:59 pm Subject:

Ari---I never had a lot of material things growing up either. My dad was on diability a lot because of an injury and those were very tough times. When he was able to work it still wasn't easy because they were always having to play "catch-up". He was a stereotypical man of the day---he felt his wife should not work out of the home. So, my mom either babysat kids or took in ironing.

Strangely the friends that I chose as a child and teenager always seemed to have much, much more than I did. I ALWAYS felt like I didn't measure up and couldn't keep up with them. THEY never seemed to have to work just to buy something simple like a pack of notebook paper.

And as I have gotten older--I realize that material things mean nothing---yes, money is nice to have, but all I want is enough to get by.

One thing though I did experience as a child was the love of my family. I always felt secure in their love, even if we didn't have much.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 8:01 pm Subject:

Whoops that above was mine--for some reason I wasn't automatically signed in. Here it is again. I tried to delete above but couldn't.

Ari---I never had a lot of material things growing up either. My dad was on diability a lot because of an injury and those were very tough times. When he was able to work it still wasn't easy because they were always having to play "catch-up". He was a stereotypical man of the day---he felt his wife should not work out of the home. So, my mom either babysat kids or took in ironing.

Strangely the friends that I chose as a child and teenager always seemed to have much, much more than I did. I ALWAYS felt like I didn't measure up and couldn't keep up with them. THEY never seemed to have to work just to buy something simple like a pack of notebook paper.

And as I have gotten older--I realize that material things mean nothing---yes, money is nice to have, but all I want is enough to get by.

One thing though I did experience as a child was the love of my family. I always felt secure in their love, even if we didn't have much.

Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 8:52 pm Subject:

Since we have been on the road to financial recovery, we have learned how to budget our money and make it stretch for two weeks. Now our bills are all paid on time and the phone isn't ringing off the wall every hour of the day.

Guest · Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 10:57 am Subject:

Tammy--I bet it makes you feel like your life and finances are in your control again doesn't it?

Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 4:22 pm Subject:

Lorri, one thing we did not have in common as children were supportive parents. My parents took absolutely no interest in me until I grew up. They were more interested in my two younger brothers. I was also the "Carrie White" of my school, I had few friends, lots of tormentors, and my parents would hear none of it when I reported the harassment to them, they just didn't give two sh!ts. Sometimes, they were no better! My mom sometimes had to be the life of the party at my expense by making extremely humiliating jokes about me. That's why I always sought solace in material things. They sure did make my peers happy!

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