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Ever since I was very young, and naive, I had planned to move out of parent's house as SOON as I turned 18. Screw authority, I wanted freedom! I wanted to be able to buy what I wanted, when I wanted, without anyone having any say in my choices.
Coincidentally, right as I was turning 18, I met a guy at my workplace who was in the military at the time. Sean was essentially my partner in crime and after dating for 2 months, we decided I'd move into his apartment. Finally I was free!
I had a great job, and he had a steady income as well. We indulged in fun activities, junk food and didn't save a dime. After all, who cared? We had paychecks coming in every two weeks and were doing all right. Before my debt, "plan" was not in my vocabulary. It was live for the moment. Unfortunately, I'd get a hard lesson in finances.

My boyfriend was given an Honorable Discharge from the military without much notice. The military was looking to downsize, since they were getting more and more volunteers. Sean's 5 year contract was up anyway and he was happy to leave. He had a security clearance and figured it wouldn't be so hard finding a job. We foresaw a small bump in the road, since he wasn't getting paychecks anymore and we had to live off my measly $500 every two weeks. "Don't worry," Sean would say, "I'll be getting a job in no time."
We lived on that credo for weeks, and for some reason each interview went well, but Sean never got callbacks. All he had was military experience and several certifications, but no college. All of these government companies were looking for college grads. Before we knew it, Christmas time arrived. Sean had no money to get me anything and felt terrible. I scraped up what money I had and got him some gifts to cheer him up. It only made him feel worse, and his depression made ME depressed. Some days we could barely eat. The debt, the lack of money, took its toll on our relationship. We fought constantly. My best friend and partner-in-crime was now my enemy. I loved him, but I was losing faith.
After a few more months of enduring hardship, I had had enough, I HAD to do something. We downsized to a smaller apartment and tried to sell things on eBay, but no one would bite. All we had was cheap junk, and who wanted that?
Religiously, we were at the bottom as well. Sean was a devout Christian who had taught me to see the ways of God, as well. I had been lost in confusion before I met him; when I met Sean I had something to believe in. Now, Sean was in a "war" with God and turned his back. There were times where I was just on my knees in tears asking for help, but there was no answer. It seemed, Sean and I were on our own.
After having downsized to a smaller apartment, I found a new job which doubled my salary. That was an excellent start! But it still wasn't enough. What was worse, Sean was still on loans with his ex-wife and she stalked us mericlessly asking for money! Between my anger at her, the situation and my stress, I was falling deeper into depression. That's about the time I discovered internet PayDay loans.
"Great!" I thought, "I can take small loans now, put right into my bank account, and I can pay them back in increments!" After I received my first loan, $500, I was astounded. It was easy and fast, so I signed up for another, then another....before I knew it, I had 7 out. I noticed the small amounts didn't help my situation much, however. For, it seemed that for every one bill I paid, 5 more bills came and more companies needed money...the banks, power, cable, annoying boyfriend's ex-wives, etc. A short time after that, I received a call from a company saying that if I sent them $250, which they'd deduct from my checking account, they'd send me a credit card with a $2500 limit. I was desperate at the time, and rent NEEDED to be paid, so I said, "go for it!" Well, I waited weeks and no card came. I tried calling the company but found they gave me a bad phone number. I called my bank, filled out a form and they investigated it. They gave me back my $250 and I promptly closed my checking account.
By this time, Sean was still seeking work. It seemed there was something wrong with his clearance and so he could not get a gvnt job at the time. I told him to hold on, that things HAD to get better soon. Although I had an optimistic facade, I was truly drowning. Sean was irritable from being unemployed and not being able to pay bills. I was only 18 going on 19 and very stressed. I told my peers that I was "18 going on 50." I developed Stress Anxiety Disorder, and back pain as a result of constant worry. I grew up very fast and never went out with friends. I wanted to be alone and just stay indoors.
When summer came along, my apartment was threatening eviction. I knew that I couldn't pay rent, I even went to court once over it. Then came the inevitable notice: "YOu have 3 days to get out."
Sean and I tried looking for another apartment, but our credit was too poor. We had no home. One day, the Sheriff and landlord showed up with 15 underpaid movers. We asked for one more day so we could find a home. "Absolutely not!" she said. The movers moved ALL of our possessions out of the house and into our U-haul in 15 minutes. They changed the locks and that was that. I sat in my car, fighting tears. How could they do that? How can this country do this to people?
I was a self-described hippie. I didn't get it. Sean and I were homeless.
We sought out a cheap motel and found a dive about 10 minutes away. We were surrounded by drug dealers, thugs and prostitutes. I went to work each day, but instead of doing my job, I found myself researching other options. We needed to get out of the situation, but I also wanted to be with Sean. Like the Bon Jovi song goes, "Livin' on a prayer." We were, and I was going to stay with Sean til we died from hunger. He was my rock.
We ended up living in the motel for nearly 2 months. We used to joke that we were going to get a mortgage on our room! I joked that I'd make a t-shirt that said, "I stayed at the [motel] for 2 months and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!"
We were making the best of the situation. I ended up finding a condo near my parents' house, which was convenient. The condo was a good price each month and the landlord was understanding to an extent.
Sadly, at that point, I was still unable to pay my car loan and my cute pink Geo Tracker was repossessed. We were left with one car, Seans, and his bank was threatening to take his. Luckily, we had enough to pay the bank so we could keep that car.
As it stands now, a year later since the beginning of our troubles, Sean and I are living off my income only. He was originally told that former government workers could not collect unemployment, but he found that to be untrue. He is now collecting unemployment to help hold things over until he can find a professional job. He has plans to build computers from his home and sell them, which is his art (and he's very good at it!). I am about to seek debt consolidation to help things for now. I am being harassed by "payday loan collectors" and the like, but other than that, we're ok.
I started seeing a therapist to help get over the stress. Although Sean and I still have to sacrifice meals sometimes and buy the cheapest brands (last night we had a $70 budget at the grocery store and had to add things up as we went along), we're doing ok. We're still together and feel that we are about to overcome the hardship. In a way, this experience has strengthened myself and our relationship. We discuss marriage, but he wants to wait until we can afford to get married in a church, rather than a junkyard or something Cool

My credit is shot and I'm still in debt, but after what I've been through, I've seen it could be worse. I tell myself, "For every one person doing better than me, there might be one doing worse."

Hi Lindsey,

Thanks for sharing your story; I agree that with small miscalculations like payday you end up at messier place.

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 9:26 am Subject: Thanks for sharing

Thanks for sharing your story; it is really an experience to hear.

Hope it helps many others to share their fight against debt. I feel it is our carelessness that leads us to a tough financial condition. I have seen that few like you have come up very well after that with careful budgeting and proper planning.

I wish you a financial health in the days to come. Tintin

Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 4:38 pm Subject:

Hi guitar_slayer

I really respect your love for your boyfriend and standing strongly besides him.

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 5:18 am Subject:

Thank you all for your support and prayers; It's very, very tough to maintain stability in life and relationships as you go through the debt process. I feel lucky to have my boyfriend with me through all of this. It's really true that no matter how bad things get, it always gets better if you believe it can Smile

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 1:51 pm Subject:

Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2005 6:05 pm Subject:

Just one question...

The military downsizing? Why didnt hubby just re-enlist? They never deny re-enlistments

My husband is a recruiter... he and I have been in the military since 1996

What does he think about re-enlisting? The Army is offering UP to 20,000. from prior soldiers

Best of luck to you

Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 5:53 am Subject:

Hey Sydney Smile

He saw the Navy downsizing as a way out, he was looking to get out of the military anyway...I think it was just starting to get to him and he wanted to go to college full-time.

Oddly enough, after he got out, I got a job supporting the Army as a contractor Smile

The military sure is a big job!

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 1:14 pm Subject: Hi Lindsey

We all have our downfalls and have to learn from our mistakes and the one thing we thank the lord for each day is surviving and still being able to wake up every morning,despite all the pain and suffering we go through god always finds a way to see us through and you will get through and over come every thing you have been through,because take it from me i was the same way young and naive but now I know but we are only human we do make mistakes and everybody isn't perfect cause I know I'm not.Be strong no matter how hard it seems.....
Good Luck Girl!

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 4:21 pm Subject:

The military is corrupt as hell these days. I will leave it at that. Wink

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 5:12 pm Subject:

I completely understand Wink

. I am a military brat!!!

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 9:01 pm Subject:

me too I am a military brat as well

Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 11:59 am Subject:

Yup, the military is a total whole new way of life...they don't pay you much either.
It's crazy that a secretary, for example, can make more than a firefighter, who makes a living saving people's lives. And baseball players get millions just to play a game! Crazy...

Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 12:17 pm Subject:

It is definitely crazy. To think I almost joined nearly 10 years ago. Thankfully though the Air Force frowned upon single parents and I would have had to relinquish custody of my daughter for an "indefinite period of time"!

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 6:36 am Subject:

Oh my god! Are you serious? They would TAKE your daughter???
That's a bit unethical! It's good that you decided not to join after all!

Guest · Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 9:05 am Subject:

Yes, that is true.

Also, if your schedule changed (ie. they changed you to night shift on a 2 minute notice) and you couldn't get someone to care for your child, they can punish you. A bit ridiculous if you ask me. I know someone that went through that.

The military holds is members on such a high level of expectation --- and demands so much of them --- yet won't pay them an "elite" salary or provide them with enough resources to care for their families. It is getting better [slowly], but the military is definitely not a place for a family-oriented person.

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