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dumberwithage43 · Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:59 am Subject: Twighlight Zone

My story begins some 20 years ago. My husband and I married in 1986. He had a good paying job with Dupont and I was jusy about to finish nursing school. Our first baby was on the way. Little by little our financial status improved, we bought a house...we were the perfect young couple building our dream. Then in 1993 (we now had 2 sons) Dupont began to lay off workers. My husband had no formal training in any other job, so job loss would mean working at Sears or some other low paying job. Dupont offered a voluntary seperation package...we took it and ran! My husband went back to school. We moved from Virginia to NH for this endeavor with 2 small children. Well, long story short, after 6 years of living on one income...my husband finally had an MS in Speech Therapy...but our credit was in the toilet. Not to mention that the year after we moved to NH my husband was diagnosed with a heart blockage at the tender age of 39. The medical bill caused us to declare bankruptcy. Well, when your already struggling....having to pay loan shark percentage rates for credit just adds salt to the wound. We were able to buy a house with the help of my parents. But we have never been able to quite pull ourselves up out of the barely making ends meet scenario. We managed to pay off all but one credit card. We now have little unsecured debt. But our situation is still rather fragile and it took one small disaster to bring us crashing down again. I am sick to death of spending everyday worrying about money. I am now looking very closely at the difference betweeen want and need. I am trying to unlearn all the balancing and finagling tactics I used to get by for so many years. Floating checks (which didn't always work out the way I'd hoped), payday loans,home refinancing, robbing 401K, etc. I am learning to say NO! I have learned that there is no shame in saying that you can't afford something..there can be alot of shame and ebarassement in trying to afford something that you can't! I now know that "quick" financial fixes don't work...it will take hard work, diligence and discipline to put us back on solid ground! It will also be a good lesson for our boys! Learn to say NO!

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:35 pm Subject:

It sounds like you are on the right track,I wish you the best of luck.Thats pretty much my situation also,I always had enough to pay my bills and then my car needed repairs and my payday loan cyle began.Once it starts,its very hard to stop.I think about how Im going to pay my bill all the time.Its the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night.I always seem to be one paycheck behind from getting caught up.You will find that this board is very supportive and a good place to ask questions or just vent when you need to.I do think that you should change your forum name,you are not dumb,you have had hard times,some out of your control,and you did what you needed to do to survive.
You have taken control and thats a good thing.Welcome to the forum.

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 2:41 pm Subject:

Practical experience teaches a lot of things in the real life. It is good that we are building up this community with some people who approach life in a prospective way.

I see you signed in this forum as a guest. Why not you join this forum. You will be glad to share your experience with this community. You can contact information at the link given below. It's free.

http://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/signup/

Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 4:00 pm Subject:

Hello, dumberwithage43, and welcome to the forums. Many of us here are in a very similar situation. It's amazing how we ended up this way via the Butterfly Effect, essentially. One small hiccup in an other normal, stable life...can lead to years of repercussion. I, too, wish you the best of luck. I hope you learn a lot from this forum and hopefully soon you'll be well on your way to financial stability!

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 7:31 pm Subject:

dumberwithage43

As everyone has said, it seems like you are on the right track. When I read your story, a lot of it sounded so familiar. In time you will see a big difference just by saying no!!!

Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 11:01 pm Subject:

Well I am glad to hear dumberwithage43 that you are following in the right track and footsteps and I know you have been through alot and!Just keep yourself on the right track and believe all good things come to those who wait!

Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 4:12 am Subject:

dumberwithage43
i can really relate with you as we get older we always think we should be doing so much better sometimes i know i feel as if i walk backwards in life and its because i have let my wants become my needs we use to have 1 house phone 1 tv and be happy now i feel as i need a tv,vcr,dvd,and computer in each room with everyone having a cell phone and house phone also 2 cars these i think are wants and we have made them needs so we all i guess have to learn to say no