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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 7:48 pm Subject: Third Generation Welfare Child

I am a third generation welfare child. I was born and raised in the projects to a single mother who already had two children. I recently took an economics class in college and I learned that welfare children don't have much of a chance. And we don't. I got kicked out of High School and had to go to Job Corps. Then I got pregnant. And became a single unwed mother. I lived in a shelter for pregnant teens and moved into the projects. I wound up with 3 children before I landed a job that actually got me off welfare. And I was only making 23,000. Then, because I was so ghetto, I got into it with some girls at work and they got me fired. I was 7 months pregnant and had maxed out all of my credit cards on groceries. This is how I got into debt. No one would hire me because of my portruding belly. I even went to interviews and they told me they would not hire me because I would be needing time off shortly. I could have filed several suits for this illegal treatment, but with what retainer fee? I have excellent skills to work with. I can speak two languages, I can type 75 wpm, and I am a computer expert.
I am now married and have 5 children. Every job I have had since has resulted in downsizing or lay off. I learned my lesson about being fired and straightend up my act. After being laid off this last time I decided I was going to go to school full time. I feel that without a degree I won't go anywhere in life. I was taking one course per semester and working full-time. At this rate I would finish a two year degree in 2009. I just wish someone would have taught me this when I was younger. We need programs in our public schools to help our less fortunate or poor children get on the right track. My mother didn't teach me jack, and now I am paying for all of my silly mistakes. I have been paying my creditors and trying to make good on my debt. I also pay off one bad debt each year with my Earned Income Refund from the IRS. One of my biggest mistakes (that I realize now) was to let someone talk me into refinancing. I am studying to be an Accountant and a Web Programmer. When I took my accounting class, I began to look over all of this crazy paperwork that I have and I realized that someone talked me into refinancing a loan for another 24 months when I only had 3 more months to pay on it. I couldn't believe it. I think we are all blind to this madness. I will never again own a credit card. If I can't afford it, I don't need it. If I can't afford to buy my kids clothes, I will go to the clothes closet and get them for free. They grow out of them anyway. As long as they are gently used, that is all that should matter. People need to stop living out of their comfort zone and stop wasting money!

Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 4:10 pm Subject:

Hi vanidosa27

All I can say is that you have learnt many things from your past and now, you have become more matured towards life.

Always remember, life is not a bed of roses but at the same time, it won't be filled with thorns also all the time. Day and night; happiness and sorrow; these are all part of life. Nothing stays for a long time. They are like separating winds and will have to go away.

You have so much talent in you. Try to use these skills in a desired place. You will have a refreshing outlook and memories of the past will fade away.

I wish you all the best in life and pray for your happiness.

Regards
Roxette

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:12 pm Subject:

vanidosa27,

You've seem to have come such a long way. Some people have a harder life than others, no doubt. The people that have a harder life have to WORK harder to improve their life and the lives of their children and that is definately honorable. When you accomplish your degree and you get a higher paying job and give your children a more fortunate life...you can say you did all of it BY YOURSELF. Nobody handed you anything and you did it and that is amazing. I hope that you get out of debt and accomplish all of your goals. Welcome to the forums.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:30 pm Subject:

Thank you shopaholic. I do believe that one has to be willing to make something of their life and move on. I have a sister that is still in the slums and has no desire to get out. She still hangs around the gang bangers and drug dealers, too. I feel sorry for her children. She calls all the time needing money, but I finally cut her off. I told her that she needs to want to help herself before I will help her. I helped myself. I wish she would seek professional help. I did. I am such a better person now. And like you said I am working hard to achieve a very difficult goal. Thank you for your encouraging words. I can only hope that someday my sister will wake up and smell the coffee.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:31 pm Subject:

And thanks to Roxette for keeping me and my family in her prayers. You can visit my website at

Link deleted as per forum rules-Denny

Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 1:23 pm Subject:

vanidosa27---
You have pulled yourself out of a nowhere situation and are on the right path. I can identify with your situation in some respects. I too was an unwed mother at age 25 and was forced to live on welfare for five years. Receiving welfare benefits never bothered me. I knew it was my right to apply and receive those benefits when I needed them. It was not a pleasant time in my life. But, I did learn that there are things you WANT in life and there are things you NEED in life. I was very humbled during this period, but refused to feel bad about "sucking off welfare" (as some ignorant people have said). I held my head high, eventually went on to go back to work and over the next twenty years earn my bachelor's degree and masters degree. True I have had a unique family situation where everyone has been very supportive emotionally, however we were not wealthy--just working paycheck to paycheck.

Your children will learn from your positive life experiences and the example you are setting for them now as you work to be debt free. Keep up the fight!

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