Internet's first get-out-of-debt community - 128,000 members

Hi everyone,

As I look thoughout this forum, I see other collectors stopping in as guests simply to lambaste the debtors in this forum, calling them deadbeats and scolding them for being debtors. Then they go on to defend the collectors being complained about in the forum, the ones who use illegal harassing tactics in the name of recovery.

Like I stated earlier, I did not crawl out from under a rock one morning, traipse into a collection agency and have a job handed to me. I know how the world functions. I approach each debtor with an open mind. After all, I don't know them from Adam, therefore I can't determine why they are in debt until I talk to them.

There is a great difference between being caught up in circumstances and being completely irresponsible. This something each collector must be aware of.

A perfect example of a very unique circumstance is the one being experienced by Mom of Twins, a forum member. She is a hardworking family woman who had been robbed blind, and then ridiculed by the original creditors. Now the collectors who call her are treating her like an irresponsible oaf! Where is the open-mindedness in that?

Statistically, I would say that roughly 25% of the debtor population are the truly irresponsible. The other 75% consist of people like Mom of Twins who have been ripped off, people who are newly disabled and have settlements pending, people who have been unemployed since their default date and still searching for gainful employment, and people who have disputes against the original creditors for reasons of their own.

A perfect example of an irresponsible debtor is the person I called yesterday. She had defaulted on a credit card. Why? Because she got pregnant and quit her job! She was not married, and had three kids. So she basically blew off her original creditor. This is the very definition of irresponsibility! People like this who do not think before they act, and who do not make sure all loose ends are tied before having children. Of course, she was angry with me for putting her on an affordable six month payment arrangement! This really is the limit of my compassion, people who do stupid things like this!

Another reason why this situation irks me so much is because, for the past 50 years or so, we women have been busting our asses to prove ourselves in society and in the workplace. Any woman who can take on the challenge of career and family, more power to you! But women who shirk financial responsibility in the name of motherhood, and possibly going on public assistance to boot, are disastrous to our progress in gaining full equality. It hasn't been attained yet! No female President yet! Still no equal pay for equal work!

Overall, sometimes everyone has huge problems to overcome, but shame on us if we create these problems for ourselves.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:17 pm Subject:

I couldnt agree with you more.Im also a recently divorced mom of 2.I had great credit before I got married at the age of 28,I always paid my bills early and never stuggled to get by.The man I married is a different story,he charged up all my credit cards to the limit,taking his 'friends'out to clubs and buying expensive toys for himself.(I thought he was at work).He left me and his kids for one of his new friends and then moved to another state.Needless to say with only my income I have stuggled to pay the bills and raise my kids.Im now in a consolidation program,any intend to pay everyone as quickly as possible.Someday I will own a home,and my credit will be back to the way it was before.I have never asked for any assistance from the gov,and have worked since I was 16 years old.My ex really messed up my dreams of the perfect family,and house with the picket fence,you know the dream,but I know if work hard enough I can get my dream back.
Oh,also,I worked up to the moment labor started for my two wonderful kids,any only took three weeks of leave.
Thanks
Twokid

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:24 pm Subject:

Hi Ari

Your post stimulates our conscience. You are true with your words. There are people who are serious in paying their bills. Statistics don't prove who is responsible and who is not responsible towards paying their debt. Only individual experience will. Statistics only give the overall financial data.

Those people who try to run away from their past debts are digging their hole deeper. Collectors and creditors won't suffer too much financial loss from this consumer. They are doing business and can recover the loss from other sources. That person is not serious towards his credit which needs to put in a clean slate. If he does not pay his debt, he is getting all doors closed towards a bright and respectable identity in the future.

The creditors and collection agencies should not involve themselves in such lowly acts as they usually do while attempting collections. They should understand that they are running a business and doing bad things is ultimately spoiling the name of their business. An irresponsible debtor can hide in the backyard (he knows he will have to pay for it later) but the person working in the collection agencies should not do such immature, perhaps illegal acts that give a bad name to the industry. It's more like they are spoiling the name of their company that is paying them for their bread and butter.

Ari, you are one of such collectors who can make the collection industry proud because of your deeds. But, this industry has gone so far with their atrocious actions; don't let this world change you. If you can change the world, you will be achieving glorious heights. US will be proud to have you as its citizen, no matter if we didn't have a woman president so far.

Take my best wishes
Roxette

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:06 pm Subject:

Thank you, ladies. I speak from the heart.

TwoKidTwoCat, I once overcame a similar adversity with a horse's ass for an ex-husband. He used my name illegally to purchase frivolties from the Franklin Mint, and left me hanging with at $760 bill, he also tapped into my checking account and left me with a $250 overdraft. He also threw away all of my mail so I was clueless to all of this. Then he left for the Air Force, leaving $200 for me until his first military paycheck which was quickly scooped up by one of his bill collectors, leaving me with $6. Then, add insult to injury, I find a love letter from another woman in his car. With help from my parents, I dropped him like a bad habit.

With hard work on my end, determination, and not a penny of public assistance, I eventually reclaimed my good name. He, on the other hand, married an 18-year-old (he was 27 at the time) he met during basic training about eight months before our divorce was final. He is still an idiot, and his credit is still farcical, and it is only a matter of time before this young naive girl wakes up and leaves him.

I had to start over, but it was well worth it. I had to live with my father and stepmother for a year in order to reshape my finances. I went to community college and worked through a temp agency in order to gain work experiece beyond retail. I also met the man who is now my husband online while job searching. I came across a dating service website and looked at it out of curiosity. The rest is history, my husband is a total prince, what every little girl dreams of marrying. A tall, blonde and blue, kind-hearted, handsome, thoughtful helicopter pilot who was born and raised in Denmark. My relationship with him since the beginning has been my greatest adventure and I am ever so grateful for him. He inspired me to aim high, I have an ABA in business admin, and am now working on a BBA in marketing. To sum it all up, I love my life!
What I wanted to impress upon you, TwoKid, is that we have something in common, and you are a role model and inspiration to all women to take a position of power, just as you did. I admire such courage. As for our stupid exes, waht goes around comes around. They will grow old, unattractive, possibly pick up diseases, and have nowhere to go with such bad credit. They are clowns.

Roxette, what I said about statistics was just something off the top of my head, nothing hard noted, just a guesstimate. I don't see any irresponsible slouches in this forum. Unfortunately, the collectors who come in as guests to blow hot air, insult people, and lambaste everybody are clearly not reading the posts, and they sound very prejudiced. Their insulence of everyone here is of great embarassment to me as I, a collector, am here to help, and they blow through here thinking they speak for me? Forget it.
I stated before, even after I take a better job, I will still partake in this forum as my caring for people will never cease. I would also prefer to work with people who are overcoming adveristy here than people who lack the wherewithal to take responsibility for their own survival like the person I spoke to yesterday.

Take my regards, and best wishes
Ari

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:12 pm Subject:

P.S. TwoKidTwoCat, I have an enormous soft spot for cats and cat lovers! Back when I collected student loans, I admit I gave a couple of debtors a little leeway with their payment plans because they had cats! I LOVE CATS! I think anyone who gives time, love, and care to sweet little cats deserves a little discount on their payment plans. After all, pet insurance isn't free!

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:24 pm Subject:

That sounds like a very good idea.I know my kitties would like some extra pounce treats with the savings. Smile

Thanks for such a nice reply.
twokidtwocat

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 2:38 pm Subject:

LMAO! That is too cute! Cats are wonderful, and even though I don't know from personal experience, I hear that kids are wonderful too! Aside from the financial farce, you've got the world by the tail! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:30 pm Subject:

I have cats toooooooo!!!!
Hey, over here, I have cats toooo!! LOL
I have four cats. One is a 'rag doll', he is 35 lbs! I have another one that is 30 lbs that sits up like a penguin when he begs. I will have to post a photo of them if I can. I also have a bird and a doberman. And I try to pay my bills.

***Ari, I don't know why, please forgive me and don't be upset, but I didn't know you were a fellow female! I had just pictured you as a man. no reason. just surprised when you referred to yourself as a female. you know how you read a book and have the person all pictured out in your mind then you see a real picture, nothing like what you had imagined.

thanks for being here Ari, I really love reading your posts. Shirley

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:56 pm Subject:

LMAO Shirley! Yep, female. Ari is short for Arielle, hebrew meaning Lioness of God. To better enhance your mental picture, people say I compare to Claire Danes, Mira Sorvino, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lisa Loeb, and Avril Lavigne. Basically, a tall athletic dirty-blonde with a very angular face.
I know exactly what you mean about mental pictures! My own imagination creates an image of Roxette similar to that of Ann-Margret in younger years, a hot blondie or redhead with an hourglass figure(must be the exotic name), and an image of Mom of Twins much like Jill from Home Improvement. Correct me if I'm wrong, girls!
A 35 pound cat! Holy Christmas! What a big beast! Maybe you should ask your collectors to cut you a little slack so you can put that 'potamus on a diet! I used to have a cat that big, her grape-shaped body was so cute! Just like a walking teddy bear. She couldn't stand up on her hind legs, but when she sat down she looked just like a snowman! I loved it! She was a calico, and the one time I tried to take her measurements out of curiosity, she wouldn't stop wiggling around! She lives with one of my former neighbors now, because I couldn't take her with me to my father's house. I'll send you my e-mail address so I can see those pictures!
Shirley, I know you pay your bills! Or else you wouldn't be here! I know the name of the game, and Wells Fargo is such a bunch of dorks! My original post in this thread does not apply to any borrower in this forum. It's more geared towards those condescending collectors who pop in as guest just to be rude and contaminate our wonderful forum with their unwelcome two-sense. There is a difference between the kinds of debtors they have in mind, and the ones who are members here.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 4:32 pm Subject:

So, here I am with the snap. Now, you can see me and compare it with your imaginations.

Girls, upload your snaps in this forum. Let's make it more real and happening.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:17 pm Subject:

Wow Ari,you were right on for Roxette.I have a very old computer and no camera,so no pic for now. Sad

Sorry.
Im more of the Jill from home improvement type.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:24 pm Subject:

I totally suck at editing pics. I can e-mail mine to Shirley or Roxette and maybe they can doctor it up to fit the 17 kb space.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:30 pm Subject:

Hi Ari,

You can send your snap to me at mike@debtconsolidationcare.com

I will upload it for you.

Regards
Mike

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:06 pm Subject:

wow Roxette!!! I had you as a brunette. gorgeous surprise!!!! I guess i didn't get to surprise anyone since I've had my photo up for a while now. It would have been fun to see how everyone had imagined me. I'm glad every one is starting to put their photo up now, it makes it more real to see who we talk to.

Ari-if you need help with your photo, just let me know. I got your message and will get those kitty photos out to you ASAP.

Shirley Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:11 pm Subject:

Thanks Shirley, but Mike offered to crop it and upload it, so I e-mailed my pic to him.

I was pretty close on Roxette! She looks like a blond Rita Hayworth! Very pretty!

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 7:38 pm Subject:

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