When we left off yesterday I was trying to escape from the payday loan witch and the collection zombies after falling out of bed and landing on a deserted city street. I ran down a dark alley to escape to find a train just leaving the station. Pulling my self aboard I realized that I had jumped on the Cash Call train and it was too late to jump off. Now the Night of the Living Debt continues..
I climbed the short stairs into the old train car and sat in the last seat in one of the middle cars. I could see a few heads in the seats in front of me and in the next car also. I could see the conductor, a very tall gaunt man in uniform, approaching each person and heading in my direction. He finally came to my seat.
“Checking account and routing number please.†He demanded politely.
“Excuse me.†I said.
“I need your checking account and routing number.†He became a little stern.
“ I am not giving that to you.†I said firmly.
“That is up to you.†he replied. “But, until you do you will never get off the Cash Call train.†He went on to the next car.
Meanwhile I sat still trying to rest after getting winded. I figured that the train had to stop eventually and I would just get off. I started to doze. It could have been minutes or maybe a half an hour when I heard a voice from the car behind me.
“Next stop. Pay Day Plaza.â€
Then the conductor came into my car.
“Next stop. Pay day plaza.â€
The train slowed to a whooshing halt. Through the window I saw people at counters, similar to the car rentals at airports. Each one had a sign. One said Pay Day OK another said Pay Day Select and yet another said Pay Day Today. There was no one at any of the counters besides the person in attendance. Suddenly from across the floor a small army of those leisure suit zombies came staggering toward the train. They boarded the car in front of me. Some of them pulled a woman from her seat and took her off the train and the others started to enter my car.
One looked directly at me. He was so close I could see his rotten teeth as he said in a monotone voice.“Cash! I can smell your cash.†I got up and ran through the car behind me. I pushed past a couple of them in that car and ran into the next. I was shocked by what I saw. There were a dozen men and women hanging upside down by their. The men had their pockets turned inside out and the womens handbags had been dumped on the floor. I had to keep running as much as I wanted to help. I ran into the dining car.
The dining car was empty except for a young dark haired woman sitting I a booth alone.
I yelled to her.
“Get up and run! We have to get off this train now!â€
“But I want to try the fish with the sauce buerre blanc. Someone told me it was excellent here.â€
“Get up now!†I insisted.
“I will get it to go!â€
“No you won’t, and get rid of that volleyball.†I demanded
By then the leisure suit goons were entering the dining car. The woman jumped up, hit the one with the bright blue suit in the head with the ball and she was out of that car before his wig hit the floor. He bent over to pick it up causing a pile up of polyester. I caught up with her at the end of the train. By then the train was starting to move.
“Now what do we do?†the woman asked looking at the moving tracks below.
Before I could answer, a riding mower pulling a lawn cart was racing along side the train at an amazing rate of speed. It was being driven buy a pug dog with a weiner dog riding shotgun.
“Jump into the car!†the dachshund shouted.
The pug added, “First tell us what state you live in, how much you borrowed and …. Just kidding! Jump!â€
“There is a bridge coming up,†the dachshund shouted. “Jump now!â€
’The woman jumped and landed safely in the cart and now it was my turn. All 225 pounds of me was going to jump from a train to a cart at 40 MPH while the bridge was only seconds away.
“Well here goes!â€
To be continued…….