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 Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:16 pm |
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Daily Thoughts.......
1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a
cup of boiling water
down your throat. Presto! The blockage will
instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by using
the shower.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your
veins. Remember to use timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you
hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct
Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY'S. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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Jessi
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:23 pm |
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LOL
Thanks for the laugh Jess, i surely needed it today!
Ang
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You will not be punished FOR your anger; you will be punished BY your anger. --Buddah
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Ang
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:28 pm |
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Copied it and sent it around my office. very funny
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kashzan
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:37 pm |
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volleyballmom
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:02 pm |
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Thanks Jessi. Needed the laugh.
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pybasj
Joined: 08 Aug 2007
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:26 pm |
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Thanks, I needed that too!
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frogpatch
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:40 pm |
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I definitely needed that tonight!!! Thanks....
_________________
If you think you can, you can...if you think you can't, your probably right...
http://lifewithyourcredit.yesdebtfree.org/
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Morningstarr430
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 6:43 pm |
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I LOVE TO READ FUNNY THINGS.
THANKS GREAT JESSI.
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tsacgiv
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 6:51 pm |
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You're welcome! Someone sent it to me today, and I thought everyone would enjoy it. 
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Jessi
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| Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:17 pm |
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LOL!! One of these days I'm going to pull up some of the old ones you used to post..
_________________
"It's a treat, being a long-distance runner...."
Allan Sillitoe, The Loneliness Of A Long-Distance Runner
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finsfan13
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| Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 8:01 am |
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What does Woody Allen has to say about Money
1."Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
2."I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government."
3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance
salesman?"
_________________
“South Carolina Man Burdened by $213,000 in Debt Discovers ‘Military Strategy’ Secret that Made Him Debt Free in 4 Years!
Find out how NOW!!
http://tinyurl.com/5cyary
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success4resource
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 10:07 am |
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success4resource--That is awesome.
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Jessi
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| Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:04 am |
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yeah, woody Allen is pretty awesome eh..
Heres some more
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." Woody allen
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.Woody
_________________
“South Carolina Man Burdened by $213,000 in Debt Discovers ‘Military Strategy’ Secret that Made Him Debt Free in 4 Years!
Find out how NOW!!
http://tinyurl.com/5cyary
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success4resource
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 8:26 am |
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These are very funny lines...enjoyed them! Like they say..laughter is the best medicine!
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laura19544
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| Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:25 am |
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i really need the laugh, thank you
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when rich people hit rock bottom, they fall hard; people like me, we just roll over.
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granny
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