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 Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 3:40 am Subject: Ok....My Husband...my story |
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I married an attorney at 30, had two children at 33 35. At the time I was a registered Stockbroker and gave up my career to raise our kids.
My ex husband is a true believer in "creative Financing" and "I'll fix it before they find out." Almost childlike in the sun will come up tomorrow.
Well, after 4 months after the arrival of our second child, he was suspended for three years for taking money from a client's trust fund.
As attorneys are they are subtly controlling and man do you have to stay on your toes to argue with them.
Very Long Story Short, He started an environmental company after being suspended with all people a law client that was camt to my husband to sue his last business partner. (As this goes on you will think "No Brainer) ....great lawyer, horrible business man.
He raised 3.3 million for that company while we couldn't pay our bills.
I predicted 7 years ago that the company will go BK, we will be divorced and After asking him repeated did he file the taxes and him saying yes...I knew he didn't. I would tell investors don't do it and they would look at me think "How Cute" and blow me off.
We split in 2002, In 2005 we got divorced and the company went BK. He put my children and I in financial ruin, and as I was a home maker, he wasn't filing taxes and I had a 65,000 Income tax lien on me due to that darn Unity Candle at the wedding. (And I though it was just a spiritual thing)
Get this, now he is a self Employed "Business Consultant" and everyone thinks I just have freaky Miss Cleo Skills.
I left with my children from the "plate spinning" world he still lives to this day at 50.
For my children and myself, (since 3000.00 got me unmarried and my name changed back to the name I got for free when I was born. Other than that, he's a lawyer and know loopholes)I had to right all the wrongs he had done in order to survive in a relatively short period of time. My credit was shot, (He got into a drunken one car accident and his company bought him a new car. I was driving an 11 year old car that had a rear differential that was going to go at anytime.
He is a JD Degree I have a GED.....between the dates of 4/2005 and 5/2006 I had to improve my credit to get a safe car for my kids. So I was almost OCD about my credit,spreadsheet and all.
Police were coming to my door (in another city I moved to) to serve me papers in front of my kids I just couldn't have mu kids see that anymore, so I went bankrupt.
After the BK I had a score of 415, I contacted my old boss at the investment firm to see if I could be his assistant again (This would mean retaking the NASD series 7 and 63. A Test that 50% fail and much harder to take when you're a single mom and 43)
So again in one year, I would drive to work talking to the IRS innocent Spouse unit, I worked full time as Office coordinator for a brand new construction site on Wednesday, broker ready on Friday and 1600 accounts to transfer. Than I would rush to get my kids while talking to credit bureaus and creditors.
When my kids went to bed I studied for my 9 hours worth of testing.
In November of 2005 my credit was up to high 5 to low 600. By may of 2006 after many phone calls and faxing to the IRS I was relieved of 65,000.00 taxes (something two lawyers told me I would never qualify for)and in that same month I was once a registered member of the NASD, NYSE CBOE, etc..
I continued to push away my chair when I got to work since it just got in my way and by October of 2006 My weight went down to 89lbs, and I was so stressed, depressed and never knowing what was going to happen next with my x. I couldn't function.
(BTW for anyone in the same situation with their x-spouse, It takes a lot of work to be cleared of taxes and a lot of proof, but you can do it your self. what choice do you have. I had no other choice but to give it a shot. If you have any questions, please let me know)
Now he has filed for 3.3 million in BK and listed me as not only a creditor, but a co-debtor and somehow remembered UPS's address but not my address where he has been dropping the kids off for 3 years??? (he's representing himself)So I received no paperwork from the trustee.
I can go on and on, but now my doctor feels that I PTSD and severe depression and after 12 years of living like this, My brain needs a rest.
Since nobody plans for a disability, you really don't have a way to file 4 months prior to the disability Insurance you been paying for and has a mandatory waiting time. So My kids and I are now close to welfare.
In spite of all that my x-husband did to us, and remains doing or not doing, and me having all the documentation of tax fraud, BK fraud, etc....I haven't acted on any of it.
He is a lot of trouble by himself. His BK can't even be discharged since so many is suing him.
The thought that my kids were brought into this world by two people that some might say had pretty incredible jobs, I never dreamt that I would feel likely to get hand me down clothes for the entire time my kids have been alive.
Sorry for such a long post, I got on a roll. But I'm scared, I have overcome every hurdle and still don't have money to pay for cobra benefits or rent.....nothing has gotten better and remained in a very long time.
Thanks for reading.....if you got this far.
It was definitely a "Pack a Lunch" Post..
and ahh what the heck, if you have read this far, I can do one thing that's not favorable, if you want to check out the story I wont give you his first name but Yahoo.com woelkers in ann arbor. And you will see why If Only my Children and I were a lake or a river.
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bellamar324
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:43 am Subject: |
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<Sigh>
Don't look back. I remember that song by Robbie Williams
Regrets - they don't work, they only hurt
bellamar, you have a long way struggling and raising your children. I can imagine how strong you are and what you have gone through in the past. The way you have taken care of everything without assuming anything, I hope your future takes a good turn. You have had enough of sad days in life. I will pray that God gets kind on you and show you and your children some good days.
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Johnson4485
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:12 pm Subject: |
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Welcome to the Community  What a story!! You have not only survived, but made some great strides. Hang in there, I have no doubt you will get through this. You and your children are in my prayers.If you have any questions, please ask. And keep posting!!..Karene
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Bossy4455
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:25 pm Subject: |
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Honey I can't offer any advice except you have a knack for creative writing and I think you should do something with that..
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PDLFREE
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:37 pm Subject: |
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Welcome to the forums. Since you have registered somebody will be in contact with you to discuss your situation and options. It sounds as if you have been through alot and you are a strong woman and a great role model for your children. Good luck, and keep posting.
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WHEREAMI
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:39 pm Subject: |
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Tough times don't last, but tough people do!
I'm glad to hear that things are going your way..hang in there, we're here for you!
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"It's a treat, being a long-distance runner...."
Allan Sillitoe, The Loneliness Of A Long-Distance Runner
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finsfan13
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 6:45 pm Subject: |
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Welcome welcome! Things will look up very soon! 
Ask any questions, and vent anytime. We're all here for you.
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Jessi
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| Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:38 pm Subject: |
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bellamar 324 you are a very courageous woman and your family have to be proud of you.GOD BLESS YOU AND YOU FAMILY.
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alvarez
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| Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:46 pm Subject: |
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Bellamar, I echo finsfan:
| Quote: | Tough times don't last, but tough people do!
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As long as you keep moving in a forward direction, you will overcome.
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"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." -- Christopher Morley
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DebtFairy
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| Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:42 pm Subject: |
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Bellamar, I am so sorry you've had to go through such difficult times. Things will start looking up. Talk with a debt counselor, who will be calling you, and he/she will go over the different options available to you. Then you can decide what is the best option for you and your family. You sound like a very strong woman, which is in your favor. You do what you have to do for your family, and you're doing it. I will also pray for you and your family, that things start to get a little easier for you. The best of luck to you.
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dbaker6
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