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Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:14 pm Subject: is this a dumb idea or not?

Ok, this is my boyfriends idea and I'm just not sure what purpose it would serve but it is sweet that he is thinking this way. Very Happy

Here the preface to the idea:
Both of want to get married to each other, however he is a (young) disabled war vet (not horrifically disabled but enough to prevent him from daily demands work) due to a severed abdominal nerve. Anyways for us to get married would mean that his benefits would get cut Crying or Very sad

because my income would be included as his and we just cannot make it on my income alone, his va bene is so helpful in making it through the month.
His idea: He wants to have a faux ceremony(or not) and celebration reception to I don't know celebrate our commitment. He wants to get a suite at a Raiders Game and invite some fam and friends to join us there.
I am grateful for him and that he wants to committ this way even if it is not marriage but I just don't see the purpose of this Question

.....CAN anyone enlighten me on what good this would do for anyone, why don't we just have a party or rent the suite and ask our friends to join us anyways?

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:49 pm Subject:

I personally think that it sounds like fun! And a very sweet thing for him to think of, too! I do think that you guys have to come to some agreement, if that's not what you want, you guys can find some way to compromise on a party or something that you can agree upon. This is a special day and it should be something you both want to do and will remember forever. Smile

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:58 pm Subject:

I am fully not opposed to a suite at a Raiders Game, what fun that is! The only thing I am kindof opposed to is making it a reception for a non-wedding. I wouldn't even know how to word any type of verbal or written invite to anyone..."Please join us for a wedding reception, but we're not married, no gifts necessary" Or "just come party on our dime" I'd prefer to just invite our favorite people for a day/evening of fun without specifically confusing them.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:05 pm Subject:

Talk to each other. This is a personal decision and you both have to come to an agreement. Since you both are going to spend the rest of your life together, make sure that you are able to keep each other happy. You both need that perfect understanding and find every solution. Congrats on making this big decision. I wish you a prosperous and happy married life.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:08 pm Subject:

Trenity, thanks I'm sure we will be together for the rest of our lives so that isn't really the issue. We've known each other since we were 9 more than 28 years now, although we haven't always been together, I just think that we should just not make it a wedding type celebration because we won't actually be getting married. We'll see what happens though because we have just started throwing ideas out there about how we should celebrate our non-marital commitment.

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:54 pm Subject:

Sounds like a good idea! Trust me, he will need his benefits to keep thriving! I say do it. Besides, anymore all marriage is, is a piece of paper. At least this way, you are having a ceremony that actually means something to the two of you!

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:32 am Subject:

I definitely think you should celebrate your commitment to one another with family and friends. How you choose to do it is something you'll both need to agree on. When you do invite people, either for an informal get together or a reception, the way I would word it would be something like, "Come and join us for a celebration of our life-long commitment to each other." Just a thought.

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 8:38 am Subject:

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the support, Leah is right marriage is just really a piece of paper, and both of us have done that before and we really don't need the paper to tell us we are together and the paper doesn't necessarily make it forever so what good is it.

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 8:49 am Subject:

Hey my daddy is the most religious man in the world and he will tell ya this: In the eyes of God, if you are commited to one another and love one another, you are already married.