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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:05 pm Subject: Saw a pysch today

As part of my agreement with my hubby in starting to get over my nightmare, I saw a pyschologist today. After much discussion, we talked about what my goals of therapy are. I listed a bunch and then he added, don't you think one of your goals should be to forgive yourself. I'm sure a lot of people here have felt the guilt, shame, and humiliation that this trap can have on you. I thought that was actually a really good thought. Forgive yourself and see the good in yourself! Smile

On a side note. BIG arggggggggg. I pd them their principle and was supposed to be marked in full due to the large amount of overpayment I had given them in fees. Now they are trying to get another $60, jerks. I talked to a supervisor and said under no circumstances are they getting another dime from me. I made an agreement with one of their employees and that is the way it will stand.

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:09 pm Subject:

Forgiving yourself is as important as forgiving others. Unforgiveness can cause physical illness and more. As far as BIG goes. Don't waste your time with them they are totally illegal and have no way of legally doing anything to you.

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:15 pm Subject:

hope4debtfree,
That sounds great, FORGIVE YOURSELF! I never thought of that before but still today I feel ashamed, etc. from all of this mess Sad

Maybe that is what we ALL NEED TO DO right now, forgive ourselves and remember that we are ALL GOOD PEOPLE that got caught up in a BAD DECISION!

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:17 pm Subject:

I agree we are own worst critic. We do need to forgive ourselves, no one is perfect.

ladybug

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:29 pm Subject: forgive

Don't you see? That's why we're all here? Don't you see that we were all ashamed and feeling guilty and stupid and worthless? Then we came here and found thousands of others who are in the same boat? Knowing this made me feel not so stupid, or ashamed, or guilty. We are together. And we can rely on each other for information, support, advice, and help. Never feel bad for what you've gotten yourself into. As you can see, a lot of the companies aren't even legal. It's okay. There are too many of us in the same situation. Hold your head high and be happy for other things in your life. On another note, do NOT give that stupid pdl any more money. Like frog posted, they're so totally illegal. Good Lord. What are they going to do? Nothing. They demanded $100 more out of me when I had already paid $120 over the amuont due. Hello! Did I give them any more money? No.

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 7:37 pm Subject:

I FORGIVE US ALL!!! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:12 am Subject:

Thank you all. I did feel a lot better when I found this place. It is nice to know we are not alone.

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:13 am Subject: hope

hope, we are here for you. Always post if you need anything. Very Happy

sparky59 · Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:28 am Subject: Feeling ashamed

When I first found this site I thought I was in big trouble and found out later it was going to escalated.
I too felt ashamed of myself and lost a lot of sleep.
One day I just started crying at work and then when the weekend hit I was in bad shape mentally.
I really feel there is a mental illness with the
pdl trap.I speak only for myself here.
I knew it was wrong to keep getting them.Once I was
approved for one I would feel euphoric and
guilty all at the same time.I am no youngster either
so I should know better.
What I have learned is to never give out bank info to anyone.That is what I have to do to stay straight.
I no longer have checks to use and one checking acct is now closed so I cannot use the check debit card
which having that overdraw safety feature in place I would still overspend and pay the guilt trip card later in my head.What a cycle.

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:33 am Subject: sparky

sparky, thank you for sharing your story. And, you've got yourself under control. If you know that you can not be "trusted" with checks, then don't have them. The temptation is not there. If you know that you can not be "trusted" with a checking account (for pdl loans), then don't have one. At least you have made a strong decision for yourself and you are acting on it. You've made a wise decision. And I'm very proud of you for doing what you did.

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:42 am Subject:

Sparky
We all need to make the decisions that are best for our selves. You did a great job. One of my hardest decisions was to get my overdarft protection taken off my checking account,I realized if it was there i would just spend money that i did not have and get myself into another hole. I have to learn to live within my means. Its funny I earn a good salary and it was never enough. I always wanted more so i got into pdl trouble. Now am forced to live within my means and guess what???? It is enough.Its a whole new way of life, but a very rewarding one

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 4:17 pm Subject:

I agree, I think we all need to be reminded to forgive ourselves. I'm hacing trouble with that myself because I keep doing things to make the situation worse! How do I get over that and forgive myself?

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:20 pm Subject:

I have made a huge step this week, I relinquished all credit cards, debit card, etc to my husband until we are straightened out and debt free. If I need something, I tell him and he will make sure I have it. We already see a difference in the spending I was doing. Rolling Eyes

I wish I could say that it was not that bad, but, obviously it was. So, if this is what it takes to make sure we get ahead, then, I'm all for it. It is kind of hard to not have my debit card but, it will get easier. I think right now it's kind of like withdrawals...I feel like I need to have it on me, but I really don't.

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:35 pm Subject:

I cried when I read this thread--because I am having a hard time doing this. How do we get there?

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:48 pm Subject:

Kscornell,
Just remember you are a GOOD person! You have to forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made in the past and move on to build a stronger, brighter future!

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:49 pm Subject:

THIS QUOTE IS FOR ALL OF US TO READ AND REFLECT ON OURSELVES.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference

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