Internet's first get-out-of-debt community - 134,000 members

RST · Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 5:50 pm Subject: Tired of it all

As I sit here trying to help my sister get out of the payday loan mess she is in, i am sick to my stomach. She knew darn well what she was getting into when she did this. She knew about the interest rates, how much they would take out of her bank, etc, etc. She admited as much. But, now as she reads these forums, she thinks she is a victim. You people make it sound like you are all poor innocent victims turned super heros trying to fight the mean payday loan guys. Granted, they are sharks, but you all just horrified about how they took your money. What about the money you took from your family and friends? My sister feels horrified about what the mean payday loan guys did to her. I wish my sister would be just as horrified about the money she mooches off of everyone else. As far as I am concerned my sister is pain in the butt, along with her brother, and I hope they both read this. She got the first two payday loans, because, god forbid, her cell phone should be shut off. When I told her she needs to get rid of the cell phone she cried harder than she did when our mother died. My brother, has 2 kids but has one excuse after another not to get a second job to pay his bills. He is too good to work at fast food...... Is there debt consolidation they can sign up for all the $20 here, $100 there, that my siblings have "borrowed" from me and their younger sister, (who is responsible.) Yes, yes, I know all about being "down and out" i have been down that road before, but I was never so stupid as to buy a car I could not afford, rent an apartment that I could not afford or take out payday loans. Yes, I am a single parent, yes, I have been laid off, yes, I have had hard times, and I made mistakes, but they are my mistakes and I never played the victim card, not once.

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 6:34 pm Subject:

How wonderful for you. But I don't recall anybody mentioning taking money from their family, unless you are complaining about giving your sister money. Sounds like you should seek family counseling. And koodos to you for being a single parent! What's your point? I am a single parent of two boys with severe/significant disabilities. You aren't doing anything new that other single parents are doing. Before you come here and attempt to pass judgement I suggest you get that family counseling and deal with those issues before you start degrading and insulting others whom you have no idea what their situations are.

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 8:35 pm Subject:

It must be wonderful to be perfect, and be able to group everyone, except you of course, as non working, non bill paying losers. I am also a single parent who raised 3 children. I have worked the same job for over 30 years.
In the last ten years I've had three brain surgeries and returned to work after each one. I've had financial problems like everyone else I know and got caught up with three pay day lenders last year. I had more than paid them the full amount borrowed but they made it impossible to contact them until I found this sight and got contact information. I've gotten over $800.00 in legal refunds from these criminals.

I'm doing better, too bad your sister and brother have to listen to your self serving bull.

As a single parent I hope your attitude won't rub off on the children.

As Steelers said, GET THAT COUNSELING!!!!!

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 8:37 pm Subject:

Sounds like you have some personal issues you need to work on with your sister and family, good luck and boy I hope you never ever make a mistake in life

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 8:40 pm Subject:

Yes, hats off to you, RST. As Steelers1 says, though, being a single mother doesn't make you some kind of hero. Many of us are in that same situation. And for your information, my problem wasn't because I wanted a cell phone or a new car. Mine was because I had to take care of my handicapped child because the incompetent nurses they sent me who were not able to care for him properly. I can tell you horror stories about how a nurse when outside to smoke a cigarette and left my 11-month-old son in a walker with the basement door open with all his tracheostomy tubing and he fell down the basement stairs. So don't go passing judgment on people until you know their circumstances. Oh, and by the way, my sister was my right arm. I couldn't have done it without her, so I guess all sisters aren't "moochers." This particular sister died last year of a heart attack at the age of 47, so I suggest you quit your belly aching and appreciate your siblings while they're still around.

Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 9:10 pm Subject:

By the way, I worked 156 hours last pay period and nothing under 100 hours the last eight months. Do I still qualify as a "moocher?"

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 5:21 am Subject:

Ok quick vent---I NEVER borrowed from my family and/or friends...Had I done that, I may not have got in the PDL mess!

I've also put in 18 hours of overtime this week..I've worked from 10 a.m. until midnight for the past three days.

Anyways--Guys, don't worry about this guy. His issues run deeper than his sister's PDL mess. I agree with those who say they should seek family counseling to get to the deep issues so they can heal their relationship.

another guset · Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 8:07 am Subject:

Come on now. Put the claws back in Can't you see that the original poster is in a desperate situation? I beleive he/she was just venting and not attacking any of you personally. Please mind your manners.

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 8:19 am Subject:

And venting is fine, but I also can comprehend what I read. This preson is attacking others based on what they are experiencing at the current moment with particular family members. Venting is great, but this person is counter transferring their issues and placing them on others with whom they have no idea what their experiences are. Therefor, the suggestion of family counseling is warranted.

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 9:52 am Subject:

RST,

I have thought about your post and I'm sorry that your family has caused you some kind of hardship. The choice to help them out financially was yours and yours alone. You could have always said now. I have recovered from my own pdl situation with the help of other forum members. I would not judge someone in this situation unless you have been there myself. I for one did not borrow from my family members. I clawed my way out on my own and also with the help of a debt consolidation company. I do not think it is fair to generalize everyone on this forum and their circumstances. Maybe there is something that you need to be concentrating on for yourself.

RST · Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 10:39 am Subject: read it again

You all misunderstood my last sentence which was…….”Yes, I am a single parent, yes, I have been laid off, yes, I have had hard times, and I made mistakes, but they are my mistakes and I never played the victim card, not once.”
I have made huge mistakes but I am not a victim. There is nothing worse than listening, reading, about someone’s sad tale of woe over and over. I could blame a lot of people, but when it all comes down to it – I have only myself to blame. I have spent 3 weeks helping my sister with her payday loan mess. At first she was mad at herself, now she is a “victim,” mad at the Payday loan people who “scammed” her. As I said, they are sharks and prey on desperate people, but, I would rather have my sister admit she was stupid instead of playing the part of the victim. She now believes she is the “victim” of collections agencies too, after she spent time on this website. When I made the decision to become a parent, I realized that I had to provide for them and not complain about how much of a burden it is. I do not think I should be nominated for sainthood for doing what I should be doing as a father. When my ex-wife divorced me and left me with the kids, I considered it a blessing that I have custody and do not consider it a burden. I do whatever I can to make sure they are provided for without complaining. A few years ago I had to go to food shelves, I have had to take on crappy jobs to get by. Believe me, it is just as hard for a man to support children on his own as it is a woman. BUT, I AM NOT A VICTIM. We live simply, but happy. And, just to make sure I don’t start feeling sorry for myself, I volunteer to serve lunch at the homeless shelter by my job once a month. I am also active in an organization that lobby our government to provide health care for all Americans, especially the elderly. If any of you are interested, let me know. I like to help my family out when I can, but I am tired of them being victims.
Also, see the article from todays Minneapolis Star Tribune about the payday sharks. startribune.com/789/story/757925.html BY THE WAY, I NOTICED ADS FOR PAYDAY LOANS ON YOUR WEBSITE. WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT? I agree they should be banned, but please, enough of the victim!

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 10:47 am Subject:

The pdl adds are because of google adsense and the site has no control of them being on the site. It is because of the words payday. It's unfortunate that they are here, but I think everyone has learned to ignore them. And I don't think people are claiming to be victims here, I believe they are upset with themselves, just read the posts when people say they can't believe how stupid they were and will never make the mistake again. They have come here and have been educated on the laws and how to advocate for themselves to get out of the pdl trap. We do not advocate for people NOT to pay what they owe, but rather pay what you LEGALLY owe. I personally volunteer for the Special Olympics and the Epliepsy Foundation. Just as you did, people also come here to vent their frustrations, if you are reading into the venting as they feel they have been victimized then that is how you have chose to read the posts.

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:08 am Subject:

RST,

Thank you for your response. Do I blame anyone else for the situations that I put myself in? No. Do I need to vent and work through the emotions? You betcha. I put myself in the pdl mess, I hid it due to the shame, and I dug myself out of it with the guidance and support of my family and forum members. Not financial support though. This is my community family and I am grateful for them every day. There is a possiblity that I can be laid off from my job. Did I whine, moan, and crab at first? You betcha. Am I playing the victim? No. I'm doing what I need to do to take care of myself and my family. Sometimes we need a shoulder to cry on and simply just need to vent. I cannot let me emotions eat me alive. I'm sorry that your sister is playing the victim. I had to fall on my own face in order to deal with my pdl mess. I worked overtime, I filed the proper complaints, I worked with a debt consolidation company. Most people on here come here for the support and answers they are looking for. It's nice to know that we aren't alone, that others have gone through it as well. I believe individuals need to do their own foot work as well. I applaud your efforts as a single parent.

Guest · Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:39 pm Subject:

I don't need applause for being a single parent, but thanks anyway. I believe that if a person makes a decision to have children, then they need to provide for them without whining about how hard it is. It is tough being any kind of parent, single or not, especially if finances are tight. I don't think I need to be applauded for doing my job as a parent. If I have to work OT to pay a debt, so be it. I SHOULD work OT if it means keeping my family debt free. My brother and sister SHOULD work OT to pay off their debts without expecting someone to feel sorry for them and praise them for doing what they SHOULD do. I don't understand...... never will.

I am sorry of hearing about sad tales of woe, at work, on the bus, and family gatherings. Everyone has a sadder story than the last one. I saw it in the response to my first post.

I have seen the real down-and-out at homeless shelters, many of them looked upon with disdain by those who do nothing but whine all the time about how rough their life is.

Maybe all and all you all do some good work. But, I am still convinced that a lot of people go to this website feeling like the fools that they SHOULD feel like and then start believing that they are victims. My sister is an example of that.

There is nothing wrong feeling like an ass to keep you from messing up again and all of you do a good job of promoting the victim side.

This website was good for helping my sister, but I still think it should try and do something about the payday loan ads. I am not website expert, but with your determination, which I have seen, I think it can be done, if you try.

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:49 pm Subject:

I know what you are saying when you mention that you are tired of the "Oh woe is me" I know those type and it does get under my skin, they attempt to make themselves to be perpetual victims. I do not see myself as a victim, anyone who knows me would tell you that, I am straight forward and I don't dish BS and I don't accept BS. I haven't heard anybody whining about how hard it is to take care of their children. But many tell their stories so that others can understand what led to their mistakes in hopes that somebody will read it and think twice before making the same ones. I work with the severly mentally ill, convicts, parolees, and the homeless everyday, so you do NOT need to preach to me what they are going through. You may volunteer at a homeless shelter, but I advocate for them to get housing, benefits,medical care etc.. and once those are in place I ensure that those are maintained. So again, don't be so quick to judge us on this forum as you do not know what we do either. Again, as Mishele posted, people come here to vent not to reap pity, it is healthy to let your feelings out among those you feel can identify or assist you. Keeping it bottled up only exaserbates the situation and can lead to other problems. I completely agree with you about your sister, I would suggest some tough love, do not ever loan her or your brother money again. Keep venting, that is what we are here for, if it makes you feel better.

Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 2:05 pm Subject: victim

RST, VICTIM, I think anybody that has overpaid these vultures the way that the majority of people on here have are definately victims. Especially when it is ILLEGAL in many states to charge these type of rates. Payday Lending is prohibited in my state. Do you think any of these lenders divulged that NO. They are sharks and deserve no mercy from anyone. The majority of people on this site are hard-working good decent people. KYSIDE38

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