Internet's first get-out-of-debt community - 134,000 members

I got divorced a couple of years ago and my ex husband "stuck" me with a lot of credit card debt. My credit was good, his was not, so credit cards were in my name. He used to pay most of those bills, as most were his debts. Needless to say, he is of no help to me now. To make a long story short, I have moved on with my life and have been able to make minimum payments until now. I had such good credit lines and I have gotten by way too long by, "robbing Peter to pay Paul". It's caught up with me and I am overwhelmed with the situation. I bought a modest little home that was less expensive than monthly rent, though I had to borrow money from my boss (I know, mistake!!) to help pay for closing. Anyhow, I never hardly used to drink alcohol, but am finding myself over the last week or two drinking on nearly a daily basis. I just cannot believe I've gotten in this situation. The alcohol seems to sort of, "numb" my feelings to it all and then I wake up the next morning feeling worse. I still have about $10,000 on my credit line and am wondering if I should pay back my boss so that I can get that monkey off my shoulder (which is also a lot of stress). I don't want to file bankruptcy, but think I may use, "curadebt". Will it have any effect if I pay my boss back right before trying to elimate, or consolidate the debt? Sorry this is so long, I've tried to shorten it all I can. Any help AT ALL would be most appreciated, as I don't have anyone else to turn to.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:08 pm Subject: Can't anyone help me, PLEASE????

I'm not sure where to turn! Something brought me to this site, so please respond if you have any guidance for me at all. Thank you in advance!!!

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:15 pm Subject:

I forgot to mention that I am working in excess of 70+ hours per week and have a 10 year old whom I am the custodial parent. I have given and given and if it weren't for my little girl, would probably give up on life all together.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:21 pm Subject:

Well, first of all, welcome to the site! Secondly, PLEASE don't rely on alcohol to help you forget your problems. Since I come from a family where several members are or have been alcoholics, I can tell you that it really won't help, and in fact, it will only make things worse!

I don't know anything about Curadebt, so hopefully someone else will be along to advise you about that.

I can tell you that most credit card companies do offer temporary hardship programs. Usually, they will lower your interest rates and your minimum monthly payments for a temporary period (six to twelve months usually) to give you a chance to get back on your feet. Some of them won't offer them to you until you are behind on your payments though.

Is the loan from your boss a personal loan or a company loan? If it's a company loan, is it possible to just have a regular amount deducted from each paycheck until it's paid back?

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:26 pm Subject:

Thank you SO much for responding!!! Unfortunately, it's a personal loan from my boss. I told him I would pay him $100. a month, but am really having trouble coming up with that at this point. I've never checked into the hardship programs you are talking about. I called one of my credit card companies and they pretty much said, "sorry 'bout your problem, but we can't do anything for you". It took all I had to make that call, then was so discouraged afterwards.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:26 pm Subject:

I apparently was typing while you posted your post right above mine.

Since you have a little girl, it's even more important to stay away from the alcohol, and also to try to have a positive attitude. I know that things seem overwhelming right now, but many people who come to this site are able to get a handle on their debt problems and start to see light again at the end of the tunnel. So hang in there!

I know that you said you don't want to file BK, but have you seriously looked at the pros and cons of it? When I came to this site, I didn't want to do it either, but I ended up deciding that it was the best option in our case, and the relief has been IMMENSE since finally "biting the bullet" and doing it. I'm not saying that it's right in your case, but it might be something to at least consider. Most BK attorneys will do a free initial consultation.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:31 pm Subject:

Yes, I know that it's tough dealing with collectors. Some of them are easier than others though. I've seen many people post here that if you don't get someone who is cooperative on your first try, then you should hang up and try again eight hours later, and you'll probably get someone else who may be more understanding. And as I said, some of them won't offer anything to you unless you are behind on your bills.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:33 pm Subject:

You don't know what responding to my post has meant to me. I just feel so alone! Not that I don't have anyone, but I have never told anyone about what I'm going through. Anyhow, I have seriously considered consulting a bankruptcy attorney. At 39 years old, I just never imagined starting over again, but life has thrown me some SERIOUS curves. And, I know what you are saying about the alcohol, as I come from a long line of alcoholics, which makes me more nervous. The alcohol is, "new" to me, and honestly I like the way it makes me forget my troubles, BUT I have a lot more to consider than how I feel (10 year old daughter). Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:37 pm Subject:

You're very welcome! We are all here to help each other. And I know what you mean. My husband's parents know that we filed BK, but I haven't told my family anything.

Usually things are a bit slow around here on the weekends, but if you hang in there, I'm sure you'll get some more advice once the weekend is over.

I'm not sure about paying your boss back with your credit card. I think I've read that some companies won't take you into their program if you've had a cash advance recently (I'm thinking 90 days, but I could be wrong). Maybe someone else can advise you about that.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:39 pm Subject:

I'll definately hang in there!! I'm usually a pretty strong person, just recently weakened. Thanks again!!!

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:39 pm Subject:

And try to remember that even though the alcohol may help you feel better temporarily, in the long run it will only make things worse. Since you've seen it in your own family too, I'm sure that you know that.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:54 pm Subject:

Also, a word of caution . . . If you do end up deciding to file BK, you will have to list all of your debts, including your boss. Anything that you've paid recently (again, I'm thinking 90 days, but I'm not sure) to one creditor over another might be considered a preferential payment by the trustee and could then have to be returned to the court to be divided amongst all of your creditors. However, once your BK is discharged, you can pay back anyone you want to; you just are no longer legally obligated to do so.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:09 pm Subject:

Thats correct alias. You can choose to reaffirm any debt you choose after the filing. Or, you can voluntarily pay a creditor after you receive a discharge, without becoming legally liable to continue paying.

Thus listing a creditor does not prevent you from paying creditors you wish to pay after bankruptcy.

Also, omitting a credit card company from your schedules, because you want to retain the use of the card, does not assure continued access to the card: most major credit card issuers use a national data base to determine who has filed bankruptcy, independently of the court's notice to them of bankruptcy filings. They routinely cancel cards of everyone who has filed bankruptcy, whether or not a balance is owed.

So depending on what state you live in your boss might fire you for not paying him back so if you include it doesn't mean you can`t choose to pay him or her still.

jedi · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:15 pm Subject:

Hello mcmiller,

First I must commend you for sharing your story with us , this is the sign of a very strong person and I wish you the best and your baby the best. Have you tried getting counseling first for the alcohol situation you are going through first? Maybe trying to speak to more people willhelp, we are here to support you.

I believe that tackling your debt and your personal crisis at this time may be too much for you at this time. debt settlement is tough and it may place extra stress on you. I know you will be paying curadebt at least five% in retainer fee and 20% in commissions, do you think you can really afford this?

Curadebt has an impeccable BBB rating, but somewhere in this very blog the question of them having had a relationship with a man named James Lombardo scares me. Just ask anyone else here who James Lombardo is. Also, curadebt claims to be located in San Diego, CA. That is true, they are registered in CA to do business but their call center has been rumored to be in South America, meaning they are using a less expensive workforce and making higher earnings.

I don´t know if I were you I´d give my business to people outside of our country when we are going through a recession and we need to employ people at home, that is your call.

Good luck and god bless.

Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:21 pm Subject:

I kinda agree with Jedi on this one which is not very often. Smile

Its their business if they want to employ people over sees to cut costs. It doesn't necessarily discredit them BUT I prefer to work with companies that keep the jobs over here in the states.

jedi · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:25 pm Subject:

Thanks mobile. You know how I feel about the overseas call centers. I´d rather keep the money at home, the other thing that worries me is their ties with James Lombardo!

*Name:
*Email:
*Phone:
*Zip:
*Debt

	* denotes required field

Internet's first get-out-of-debt community - 134,000 members

overwhelming debt is turning me into an alcoholic?

Members Area

Free Debt Counseling

Ask the community

Featured Discussions

Featured Articles

Question of the Month

Also See

Recent Forum Discussions

Recent Blog Post