| Message |
Author |
 Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:13 pm Subject: OVERWHELMED in debt!- NOT Working it out w/spouse! Help! |
|
|
What do i do? ...WE Live in MN
i was divorced in '95 and pay $400/mo to support my daughter,
and another $150/mo for gas -back+forth to get her- on weekends.
she lives 80 miles away, so we drive Civics!  SAVE GAS!
Now Marie and i have been BF/GF since 1995. But, there is no COMMON LAW marriage here- so she didn't have health care for the first ten years.
in 1996 i was involved in a car accident, and a resulting BANKRUPTCY.
it wasn't much debt ($14K)-but i had no income!
my back was twisted, but with physical therapy and chiro, it was slowly healed.
Marie helped me threw that time, but she hasn't seen the dentist in 10 years, and now we have a HUGE bill from it.
We have 2 boys that have alergies, medical bills, etc...
Our problem is the Credit Cards. we both used them for EVERYTHING when we first met!
...until they were maxed- i'd pay one off, and 2 more would show up!
With the newest kid, and her being out of work for a while... our bills are piled up again. i stopped using mine, but she is still using hers to "get by"
i was told today (after showing her this website last night, and compiling info)
"OUR credit card debt IS NOW = $35,000" 
...most at over 21% APR 
she said she can "Get them paid down!" and doesn't want her "750" credit score to go down... because she wants to buy a house.
-like we've been wanting to for the past 8 years, with no luck on getting out of debt (and having a family at the same time!)
She doesn't want me having 2 bankruptcy's on my record, my score is down around 630(ish?)
We hope to get out of debt without hurting our credit scores- we never missed any payments- she prides herself on that...
but our monthly expenses keep going up, and has surpassed our income level-
"I'm just going to put it on my Discover" was what i heard -just before she left today.
URGGGH!!! HELP QUICK!
the kids need clothes, dentists, doctors, cars need fixing, etc... at least $5K in "other" bills are coming up...
There's no way i'm going to get out of debt unless we work it together.
She doesn't want to go the "Can't Pay- Please take less!" route - or "Bankruptcy"
but she wants to get a home...
 Women!
Help us out- give me some ideas.
i want to work WITH HER, but i wouldn't mind just fixing my credit- so she can see how to do it!
Would you suggest that?
I'll do the "Free consultation" once i get a detailed list of our credit cards and such. -should i list JUST MINE, or both of ours- like i said, WE ARE NOT MARRIED!
...urrrgh! 
|
|
mariacide
Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 17
Debtcc Points: 496
|
|
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:05 pm Subject: |
|
|
If you aren't married then do what you have to do take care of your debt....Trust me...My credit wasn't perfect but once I married my bozo husband its even worse now so take care your credit and let her worry about hers. And don't marry her until she does. Otherwise, her credit becomes a problem for you. Not to sound harsh, just personal experience here
_________________
Passion...it is born...and though uninvited, unwelcome, unwwanted...like a cancer, it takes root. It festers. It bleeds. It scabs...Only to rupture and bleed anew. It grows...it thrives...until it consumes. It lives...and so it must die....in time.
|
|
Leah
Debt Samaritan
Joined: 04 Mar 2007
Posts: 2334
Debtcc Points: 50556
|
|
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 6:44 am Subject: |
|
|
If you are forced to file bankruptcy; you would qualify for a Federal Housing loan in two years from discharge. All is not lost. debt settlement is another option; read on this site and learn.
_________________
Register today to cash in debtcc points.
|
|
Guest
Debtcc Points: 100
|
|
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:46 am Subject: |
|
|
I am glad that you are doing the free consultati0on.I am sure they will be able to direct you in a way that will be specific to your needs. Good luck.
|
|
kashzan
Debt Samaritan
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 5463
Debtcc Points: 38905
|
|
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 1:18 pm Subject: |
|
|
WOW! theres a LOT of info here!
I'll be searching threw it for days, weeks maybe!
thanks for the replies! God Bless!
_________________
Don't worry, my Lamborghini is on fire, but i've called in the Fire Dept!
...they came and said, "LET IT BURN!"
|
|
mariacide
Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 17
Debtcc Points: 496
|
|
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 1:20 pm Subject: |
|
|
If you need us we are here to help. Just post
|
|
kashzan
Debt Samaritan
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 5463
Debtcc Points: 38905
|
|
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:46 pm Subject: Overwhelmed |
|
|
Welcome!
Something to keep in mind is, having a high credit score alone will not get her a mortgage. They have started to buckle down on creative financing. It may be a problem to qualify especially if she has high debt to income. You don't want to get into a house anyway with all that debt. Try to knock it out first and you will be in much better shape than you would be if you add a mortgage to it. Just something to think about.
Good luck in whatever route you choose to get out of debt.
_________________
http://www.girlndebt.com
|
|
girlndebt
Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 108
Debtcc Points: 5231
|
|
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:54 pm Subject: |
|
|
Being in the housing finance business; if your score goes above 575 and you have had a true hardship and your debt is wiped clean, you will qualify for a home. I know people who filed Chapter 7 and after two years their scores are over 700 as long as you don't go delinquent on any debt after the discharge. We build a new credit file from their rent history, cell phone, car insurance and any other source they have paid for 12 months - pay as agreed and you will qualify.
|
|
lostindebtat50
Joined: 24 Oct 2007
Posts: 82
Debtcc Points: 1955
|
|
|
| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 8:09 pm Subject: |
|
|
I dont think anyone is saying she wont qualify for a mortgage.
Girlndebt does raise some good points with regard to other factors, not just the credit score.
|
|
volleyballmom
Debt Samaritan
Joined: 27 Aug 2007
Posts: 4178
Debtcc Points: 24895
|
|
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:18 am Subject: |
|
|
I agree with volley!
I only glanced at post..yet these days even a high credit score will not guarantee financing if debt to income ratio is terrible..21% on 35,000..to me is very bad news..should they actually try to enter into another obligation? ..I think they should rent and wait out real estate market and in meantime do all they can to consolidate obligations
|
|
socksfullofrocks
Joined: 14 Dec 2007
Posts: 579
Debtcc Points: 58
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:04 am Subject: |
|
|
Filing Chapter 7 eliminates all debt and you have a fresh start - no debt means we are only dealing with housing ratio to buy new home.
_________________
Register today to cash in debtcc points.
|
|
Guest
Debtcc Points: 100
|
|
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:38 am Subject: |
|
|
Friend:
A key variable in settling your accounts for less than what is owed (whether you do it yourself or do it through a company like the one I work for) are the hardships which you have endured. Of course, hardships are good, solid, document able reasons why you accrued the debt. In general, more severe hardships mean better settlements.
Best of luck,
Personal information removed as per forum rules. - Jason
_________________
Register today to encash debtcc points.
|
|
Guest
Debtcc Points: 100
|
|
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 10:34 am Subject: |
|
|
HARDSHIPS-
other than a couple $1000 medical bills over the past 5 years, having another child, and not keeping track of my loved one's spending habits... we really didn't have any TRUE hardships...
 -and like she said- we are NOT passed due on any bills...
we just don't have a way to KEEP paying them anymore- since the CC's are all now MAXXED!
there was a time before my child was born 2 years ago when i asked for a list of our debt-
$22K in credit card debt... only 1 car payment, and rent...
(thought we were on the way to Home Ownership!)
So last year i took out a 401K load for $10K -to pay some of the High int. CC's off- it was going to SAVE us over $1,400+ in interest a year!
i even bought a used Honda from the Dealership and had no trouble financing, so i thought my debt was going down...
----
Here it is 2 years later, and all the moneys spent...
and i find out our CC debt is now $35K!!!
-i'm calling the heelp with debt number now on the left of the page... Thanks for your replies!
_________________
Don't worry, my Lamborghini is on fire, but i've called in the Fire Dept!
...they came and said, "LET IT BURN!"
|
|
mariacide
Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 17
Debtcc Points: 496
|
|
|
| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 5:45 pm Subject: |
|
|
ok, let me get this right...
after explaining all this again on the phone -then getting transferred to another rep from "BLANK-BLANK" Law office... i explained it all again...
so i understand i have 3 options (for now)
1. debt management
-LAW Firm fee of $850-$1000
they TRY TO get our CC companies to agree on eliminating Fee's and some Interest.
a) the fee would be locked into a set price.
b) we would pay monthly to the firm, and they would pay that to my CC companies... (i guess?)
Cons.
- the reduction in actual debt would not be that great, no principle is reduced + we have no "Late fee's" so far.
-our interest rates wouldn't be eliminated, just Lowered
- take longer to pay off, while still barely living paycheck to paycheck for years to come!
- no time off from work! (Nose to the grindstone like the past few years!)
Pros. it would be better for credit scores, and eventually home ownership.
2. DEBT CONSOLIDATION
a) Same LAW Firm Fee- around $850- $1000. We pay them, they pay CC companies...
b) They try the Hardship tactics, and try to REDUCE PRINCIPLE + Eliminate Interest.
Pros.
- MORE debt reduced Quicker!
- Better than Bankruptcy, but not by much.
Cons.
- the feeling like you are a dead beat loser, and cant pay for what you said you would!
- Bad Credit rating, harder to get qualified for house
--------------------------------------------
i tried to explain to the REP. -we are NOT behind on anything!
And from MY experience with CCCS 12 years ago, if you are not in collections, or even past due, it is extremely hard for the CC companies to "SETTLE!"
that said- she "Assured" me that i would have everything in writing, proposals, etc...
and that they CAN work with MOST companies...
(it would just cost $900 +/-)
-i'm not liking any of my choices so far-
3. Bankruptcy - Not advised, our last resort if nothing else works.
GIVE ME SOME GOOD DIRECTION!
-I'm ready to stop paying ALL the CC's- and saving up all that money to pay any settlement offers!
(Since CC's are easier to reduce debt when they see NOTHING is coming in!)
So i guess my Credit is "F"'d either way...
_________________
Don't worry, my Lamborghini is on fire, but i've called in the Fire Dept!
...they came and said, "LET IT BURN!"
|
|
mariacide
Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 17
Debtcc Points: 496
|
|
|
| Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:09 am Subject: |
|
|
WHAT! ??? no responces?
(wasn't anybody earning Comp Points last night or this morning?)
...oh well!
we will be around $300 short this month,
So last night i was thinking about stopping payment on 1 or 2 cards...
and paying all the rest off while keeping everything else current.
when they call, we try to make a deal at lowered payment...
i ran it by the Girlfriend and she blew-up
"I dont like Any of your ideas!"
i said- "i've given you about 5 options so far, and nothing is good enough for you... So, What's YOUR Solution?"
i haven't recieved a responce, and she's left for work...
if you won't do it for me, CAN ANYONE HELP HER OUT finding a GREAT solution?
_________________
Register today to encash debtcc points.
|
|
Guest
Debtcc Points: 100
|
|
|
| Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:12 am Subject: |
|
|
sorry- i wasn't logged in!
------------------------------
WHAT! ??? no responses?
(wasn't anybody earning Comp Points last night or this morning?)
...oh well!
we will be around $300 short this month,
So last night i was thinking about stopping payment on 1 or 2 cards...
and paying all the rest off while keeping everything else current.
when they call, we try to make a deal at lowered payment...
i ran it by the Girlfriend and she blew-up
"I dont like Any of your ideas!"
i said- "i've given you about 5 options so far, and nothing is good enough for you... So, What's YOUR Solution?"
i haven't received a response, and she's left for work...
if you won't do it for me, CAN ANYONE HELP HER OUT finding a GREAT solution?
_________________
Don't worry, my Lamborghini is on fire, but i've called in the Fire Dept!
...they came and said, "LET IT BURN!"
|
|
mariacide
Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 17
Debtcc Points: 496
|
|
|
|
|
|
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
1 2 Next  |
| Page 1 of 2 |
|
