I work with one of the online colleges in their financial aid department, so I do know a bit about the different types of student loans. If you have any subsidized or unsubsidized Stafford Loans, they can be deferred for a year. The private school loans do not offer those advantages. I do believe that the people you spoke with were sincere.
You mentioned that you cannot afford to go back to school. Unfortunately, until all of your Stafford loans are in good standing (do a web search for the website: National School Loans Database Systems--where you can check the status of your loans) you will not qualify for Federal Student Aid (so don't waste your time filling out a FAFSA). I really hate being the bearer of bad news, but I believe that it is better to be informed than surprised later on.
As an independent first year student you are entitled to a combination of subsidized and unsubsidized loans of up to $9,500 per academic yr. Second year independent- $10,500. Each year it continues to increase. For the master's degree and up levels, there is no longer eligibility for PELL grants. Instead you are eligible for up to $20,500 per academic year.
Recently there were some changes that took effect this summer. Some lenders, such as Sallie Mae, made some changes. You'll want to do some serious research on MPNs (Master Promissory Notes). So that you'll be armed with plenty of information to
Check out the
www.FAFSA.ed.gov website for more information. There are also ways to eliminate student loans. For this I'd refer you to an attorney. In today's economy, it might be an option to consider. If you are considering this option, please do some additional research to see if you would ever be eligible for financial aid again. If things are really bad, you just might want to wipe the slate clean. Also another resource would be the DOE (Department of Education, located in Iowa City, IA). You might also consider making small (anything over a dollar) payments on these accounts. It shows that you are making an effort and maybe after time they will work with you. Good luck!