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 Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:06 am |
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Hi guys...
Things have been kind of strange around our place lately.
Most of you know I've been married & divorced twice...with no plans to ever do that again. 
However..just in the past week, both of my ex's mothers (meaning the grandmother & grandma-type to my kids - both treated my kids as their grandkids) have passed away. One was 86, the other, only 63.
I'm not sure how I feel about this, aside from the overwhelming feeling of sadness and grief, which I realize is normal. The 86-year-old mom-in-law lived with our family for 6 years before my ex and I split up in 2001, then she moved a few states away to live with one of her other children, and I haven't seen her since. I wasn't even able to send flowers or a card to her funeral, as I wasn't informed of when it was. I knew that she was most likely going to pass away sometime soon, but I didn't know until a week later that it had actually happened. I'm not bitter over it - I realize their family had a lot to deal with, and that this funeral was particularly painful for them, having already lost their dad over 10 years ago... and that letting me know the details was probably the last thing on their mind at that time...but it sure would have been nice to be able to express my condolences in some way at the time. She was a big part of my life, and my children's, as we were of hers.
The 63-year-old mom-in-law was diagnosed with cancer last year due to a contraceptive device she had placed in her body back in 1963 - and never had removed. This death saddens me the most, I think, because it was completely preventable. I'm not saying she would have never gotten some other form of cancer, but it wouldn't have been like this. My daughter is her only biological grandchild, since my ex was her only child. (She lost an infant in a fire many years ago.) She claimed her 2nd husband's grandkids as her own, of course, but my daughter was the only biological grandchild she had, and they had a very special bond.
I've spent a good amount of time thinking about these two deaths, which occurred only 8 days apart, and the affect they've had on people's lives. One of them was a decorative painter, and did many craft shows, was a member of an artisans guild in her area. I know she brought a lot of joy to a lot of people with her art. The other was a mother and housewife who fiercely protected and defended her kids when necessary, took them to church whenever the doors were open, and raised them with true Southern manners and grace. Both were fantastic women in their own right, and their absence in this world leaves a void that will never be filled by any other.
I'm not sure why I posted this here, of all places, except that my DebtCC family has always been here for me, and I've tried to be here for many of you during the difficult times of your life, if only to provide a shoulder to cry on or moral support.
I guess I just felt a need to get these words in print, to "let them out", so to speak...to let someone else know, even if it's just a few people here on the site, that these women existed...mattered...made a difference...and are terribly missed.
_________________
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step...and becoming debt free is a journey!
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SUEBEEHONEY70
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 4318
Debtcc Points: 56062
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:37 am |
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I will keep you in my thoughts!
I think it is wonderful that you've managed to keep up with these women and still hold them in such high regard! It makes all the difference in the world to the children that are involved with divorce. Your compassion will be seen and felt by them and allow them to be great adults!
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angell
Joined: 16 Oct 2007
Posts: 267
Debtcc Points: 167
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:37 am |
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Suebee, I am so sorry for your loss. It is wonderful to hear of these women who touched the lives of others and hear of their gifts. You are a special woman to keep their memories alive through the thoughts of others. 
_________________
In life it doesn't matter
how hard you hit, it matters
how hard you get hit
and keep moving forward.
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RoxyNY
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Joined: 03 Aug 2007
Posts: 3903
Debtcc Points: 11752
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:51 pm |
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I am sorry for your losses, Sue. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing with us.
_________________
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
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Sassnlucy
Moderator
Joined: 12 Mar 2007
Posts: 2588
Debtcc Points: 28218
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| Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:09 pm |
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I agree with everyone here, it is wonderful that you thought so highly of your mother-in-laws, lots of times people only talk bad about their mother in laws it is refreshing when someone has a wonderful in-law. I am sorry to hear about your loss.
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ladybug
Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 2307
Debtcc Points: 22459
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