Help Me

First of all, you aren't a failure, just because you have trouble handling money. We all probaly have had the same probles, I knowI have, or I wouldn't be here.

You need to devise a plan that you can do with your bills on paper, and then set down with your husband and see what can be worked out. In all, or most marriages, there usually is one person that does the money better than the other.

If you can't come up with a plan, set down with him and maybe he has one, or the two of you can come up with one, that's what marriage is about. I know how you feel, through the 28 years of our marriage I have been scared a few times to tell him what was going on-but in the end it worked out ok.

There are many solutions to your debt problems, including Do it Yourself. What are the balances of your credit cards and other unsecured debts you have?

Are they still with the orignal creditor, and when was the last payment? These questions will start us in a direction to help you. Once you find a solution that will best suit you, then you will be able to make a budget ..Good Luck--feel free to ask questions, we are here to help..karen

you have come to the right place! i have practically no debt anymore thanks to this great board!! if you have a particular problem, maybe try to explore the other boards here - we have one for collections, banking issues, payday loans, etc. i know i have been there and i was ashamed, too but being open makes it all better.

This is truly a great site to come to for this type of question. Dont beat yourself up to badly. Time are tough and rough for all of us right now due to the economy being the way that it is, I myself have hid bills from my husband too, dont be ashamed, but you will have to be prepared to show him exactly were the money went and how the 2 of you can come up with a plan. There are many options out there so do your research and find out which best suits you!!!

I was exactly where you are now. I told my husband just yesterday about all of my past due credit cards, loans and 4 payday loans. I was prepared for him to tell me to pack my bags and get out. He actually was very calm and read my plan of where the money went and how I planned on paying everything back.

We have agreed that he is in charge of the money since is better with it. I am now looking for a second job, negotiating with creditors and seeing a counselor to understand my behavior and learn how to change it.

I guess what I am saying is don't be scared. The anticipation of the situation was much worse than the reality. Trust me, you will feel better once you talk to him.

Lay it out there. What kind of bills are you looking at?
how many pdls?
how many cards?
how much?
what is your plan? We will chip in with any advice or experience we have.

i would say that having a plan is the first thing that you would need to consider good advice mister rodger! its simple yet alot of people overlook it. sit down before you discuss it with him what the actual balances are and whatever you can think that the money went too, and what your going to do about it. Im sure this will make him feel much better about the situation that you have a plan and are willing to take responsibillity for what had happend.

You are certainly not a failure!

All you need to do is be more confident of yourself to start with. Let it be known that you are consciencous human being and you value money, and you know what you are spending on.

A lot is to do with your state of mind about yourself and your own self esteem.

On the financial front, try and avoid credit cards, switch to debit cards. Make your shopping trips less frequent, therefore the temptation to shop will be less.

you may want to take a list of your bills that needs to pay, and plan for any possible ways to lessen it. it always happened when your income is greater than your expenses what important is you are wise on how you treat them. in the case of your husband, well, you need to overcome your fear becasue if not, it will result to a more troublesome thing. and maybe you dont want anything like that. it is more ok if you make a move than to regret later. confidence as what others say here in this thread that ypu need to have. hopefully, you can overcome your problems you have right now. goodluck.

Some options for credit card debt:
1. Get a loan to pay down the high interest credit card debt
2. Go to CCCS (Consumer Credit Counseling Service), the most recognized by the FTC. They will help you by setting up a monthly payment to repay your CC debt. They will also make you cut up your credit cards.
3. Negotiate your CC debt down to as low as 20%. This is legal and your right to do, but it will take a few months to do and will trash your credit reports for awhile until you clean it up (which you will need credit repair from a reputable company). Get the agreement in writing before you send them a certified or cashier's check.
4. Borrow the money from a family or friend and pay them 7-10% so you can pay off the higher interest CC debt.
5. Depending on what your individual circumstance is, you may want to look at filing for a Chapter 7 or a Chapter 13 Bankruptcy. This should be a logical decision and not an emotional one. Most people don't even want to discuss this option, but it is an option for some people. The difference of a Ch 7 and a Ch 13 Bankruptcy is that a Ch 7 is a wipe out of debt and a Ch 13 is a repayment of debt usually over 3 to 5 years. Keep in mind that filing for a bankruptcy does not wipe out the negative marks left on a credit report. You will have to do credit repair to clean up the bad stuff left after a bankrupcty.
If you need some free advice, call xxx FreeCreditAnswers.com 24 years of experience with straight honest and legal answers - no B.S.![color=Red]Phone number removed-no soliciting perTOS..Bossy4455/color]

all of this can actually be done by yourself - i have had bad luck with CCCS, actually. also, bankrupty is always the last, final resort. i did file myself but as i said, it is never something to be taken lightly.. chapter 13, even though you do repay still trashes your credit.. i do not think that credit repair can exactly work miracles.

Where you are is just a bouncing off place for so much more.

Tighten your belt and know you can get through it. Bes tof luck to you.

First off, you need to be honest with your husband. I tried to do the same thing you are doing by not being honest and keeping from him what was really going on, but when he found out, he was more angry that I didn't trust him to help me.

Secondly, you're not a failure, you're just bad with money. You need to get a grip on your spending. It took me four years to learn my lesson and now I have debts that I never should have incurred.

Third- come up with a plan. First, start by eliminiating ALL unnecesary expenses. I went to the extreme by getting rid of my cell phone and cable/internet, but I also stopped eating out, going to Starbucks, and going to the mall just to "window shop," which never worked out b/c I was a complusive spender. Put all the extra money into your credit card debt, paying off the cards with the highest interest first. I'd also find a free or cheap budgetting/money managing class offered in your community and go to it (I see them on Craigslist all the time).

Again, TALK to your husband and let him know what's going on. You need to do this together. He might be angry at first, but he loves you and wants to best for you so you need to talk to him.