How Sad I Have Become

First, your situation won't last forever, you have to get through this for your family, think of how devasted and worse off they would be without you. Sign up as a member and a counselor will contact you about your debt situation and discuss your options, I think you will then start to feel a little better knowing that you do have hope and things will get better. Most of us came to this forum in the same situation as you are and have found useful info. and help from other members to find our way out of the debt. DON'T GIVE UP!!! THERE IS A LIGHT!!

There are worse things in life than being in debt!!! Trust me! You are a smart man, think of how devestated your wife would be if you did end your life. Please sit tight and wait for the professional counselor to call you. It really sounds like you could benefit from debt consolidation.

Things will get better, I swear. The darkest hour is always just before dawn, remember that. We are here for you, please post regularly and share your problems with us. Maybe we can give you some answers, definitely we can make you laugh! Good luck, and please keep us posted on your progress.

I think a lot of us here have felt hopeless at some point....But we're not hopeless. :)

Nittany--Sign up for this forum and take a phone call from the debt counselors..They will go over the options that you have and help you figure out the path you'll need to take...And of course, we here at the forum will help you along the way.

You'll get back to where you need to be. :)

I feel you won't appreciate my post but I think that it should be posted just because you have a family behind you. Please visit a psychologist and take some counseling sessions. You really need it. I have gone through worst stages in my life and everyone suggested me to visit a psychologist. I had the same suicidal tendency for some other reasons, believe me.

I questioned myself "Am I mad or what?" But I felt that if I had not visited a psychologist, my life would have ended by now leaving people in tears at my back. I don't want you to make a mistake that hurts your family behind. The counseling will be very helpful to you forever. You will get life with a new dimension and positive energy. I hope you don't get me wrong on this.

Here is a good place to go to find help. Suicidal idealation is serious, even if it is situational.
(www.nami.org) This is a good resource to find local help and support when you need it whether it is for yourself or for a family member/friend. Nobody is saying that you are mentally ill but sometimes when you go through rough spots and you feel like their is no way out, and you feel hopeless, it is necessary to seek profession counseling, even if it is short term. Your post is appreciated GNR.

GNR...Thanks for sharing that with us. It is DEFINITELY appreciated.

[quote=Nittany]My life was so full of color, yet now I only see the greys. My wife notices now that I am not telling the jokes, not smiling, not laughing as much. I am only 27, college degree, own a home, and yet feel like a worthless piece of nothing. [/quote]

I was very touched by this. Nittany, you used 'was' in expressing your feelings. I honestly feel you will see colors in your life again. Your wife sees you in front of her, but ask yourself are you really available when she needs you the most? She is your strongest support. Don't make her feel all alone with you. And please, never curse yourself. You are a beautiful creation by god, don't insult the god's gift. When you feel sad, look into your wife's eyes. You will see yourself with pride. Go out with her, having some fun. Life is to enjoy. No problems is complete without a solution, just face it with a strong heart. You will get over it.

I want to echo what others have said,please sign up for your free credit counseling-you have nothing to lose,and everything to gain. Have a look at this in the meantime http://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/forums/comparison.html It will give you an idea of what options there are available to you. There are always solutions to every problem,sometimes when we are so emotionally involved,we can't see them. This is where this forum and the credit counseling can help. You are looking at a permant "fix",for a temporary problem. As long as you are alive,there's hope. Good luck-keep us posted...Karen

Finsfan13 is right. Don't let debt rule your life. It's a temporary setback. When the counselor calls, he'll help you decide which route is the best for your situation. Trust me, once you have a plan of action, you'll already feel like a weight was lifted from your shoulders! Talk to your wife. Let her know what you're feeling. You're only 27. Life is just beginning for you. Don't let this ruin it. Stay focused on the positives - you have a wife who married you "for better or for worse," right? Everyone has rocky times they have to go through. Think ahead to the future when all this is behind you. Just consider this "rock bottom." The only way you can go is up. Little by little, you'll pull yourself out of this - and you don't have to do it by yourself. You have your wife, and you have many wonderful people at this site who I've found to be very helpful and encouraging - and kind. There are over 50,000 members on this site who have all been in a similar situation where they felt there was no way out. You are not alone! Hang in there.

Since you are in sales, have you thought of switching from real estate to insurance? I'm in the middle of obtaining my insurance agent license, and it really is a big business to get into! Unlike real estate, insurance isn't effected by equity, interest rates, or a propsective customer's credit rating. One thing that keeps me going is that fact that I'll be selling disability and accident insurance, which keeps the bill collectors away in the event of an accident! Real Estate is highly competitive, and I have a sense that you are too, you could take your competitive streak over to insurance and be that smiling man again!

I am firmly convinced that being in debt can be such a miserable experience that it can drive you to the point of suicide--and I have been where you are right now. Sometimes, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel!
The thing that helps me get up in the morning is my children. Since you do have experience in sales, that is a marketable skill that many people don't have--so I would suggest simply shifting to another area of sales! Good luck to you and let us know how you're doing, ok? We care!

Suicide is not the answer to any problem, believe me on this. You may want to contact a professional counselor and seek some advice that way. There are some that base it on income so don't be afraid to get the help that you need. Last summer, 2005, when I was in the midst of my pdl cycle, no one else knew about it my family. I felt shame, embarassment, and pity for myself. I got to the point where I was suicidal. I tried to think of ways to make it look like an accident so my life insurance would kick in, it was a sad time for me. Once I started talking about it with my husband, we tried to find a way out. He showed his support and love. I knew leaving him was not the answer because he was/is a blessing in my life. A few months later, I found this forum and found a solution for my pdl questions and how to get out of the mess. I am now able to help those who are in the same boat. I also registered with the site and found a good debt settlement company through the forums. I have also made friends here who are helping me deal with my mom's illness. I am also going to a support group for the extra support and encouragement. Life is not an easy road but I also know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Take care of yourself and your wife. Things will get better for you.

Hang in there! I know it's a cliche...but things really are the darkest before dawn! I've been going through hell for the last 15 months...lost 3 jobs, HUGE financial worries, marriage problems I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...but somehow I've managed to keep it together. I know the biggest reason I've been able to do it is for my beautiful little girl, but I've done it for me too! I know I can and will get through this rough patch...and you can and will too!

Honestly, finding this forum was a huge help to me! Just knowing that I'm not alone and that someone know what I'm going through was a huge load off my mind! Keep coming back and read about other people's situations...it will help you.

Hang in there...look for the light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better for you!

You're completely right, Penoleum. If it wasn't for the people here, I don't know where I'd be. Wow, you have really had some hard times. But you're right. There is darkness before the dawn. And having gotten through all these awful things you're going through will make you a stronger person. There won't be anything you can't handle.

How old is your daughter? Children truly are a wonderful gift. I have four boys and a girl, three granddaughters and a two-week-old grandson. Your daughter is who is going to keep you going. It's wonderful to see a man who treasures his children. The best of luck to you.

:lol:

Hello thread, it is me, the original poster. The guy who could no longer see the colors in life. I had been reduced to the greys due to my dues, mainly to creditors and a dismal real estate market breathing down my neck.

Debt is a horrid demon. His clutches came into my life and grabbed a hold of my very soul. My voice was robbed from me by the endless thoughts and daydreams about fixing my situation. I dreamt that by killing myself, I was free from his clutches. Then my thoughts of my wife pulled me back. I even went as far as following an armored car around town, learning its routine and stops, planning some elaborate Hollywood style heist. Then, one day, I finally climbed back on top of my wagon, grabbed the reigns from that evil debt monkey, and began following my own star again. Here is what is new:

I have put 5 of my credit cards into a consolidation program, lowering their monthly payments from $1600 to $650. Strangely enough, I was about to call a bankruptcy attorney last week. With my phone in hand, the phone rang first instead. It was a job I had applied for. They wanted to see me the next day. My interview was great, they loved me. 2 days later they flew me to their corporate office across the country. Another interview, another great review. 5 minutes after leaving the interview in the limo on the way back to the airport, I was offered the job. $71,000 a year! This is so amazingly odd, I don't even know how to react. It seems that someone was watching over me, finally allowing me to grab hold of something. In all honesty, I feel it was simply me deciding to finally take control again.

Life seems to be coming back. Colors are coming back. I am re-emerging from my hiatus to a world that I have been floating along with for the last year. Now it is time to start swimming against the current, and it has never felt better!!!!!

VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should be feeling good now. Cheer up! The subject line should now read something positive after going through the hurdles of life. Feels great now, huh?? Just make sure that you work very hard on this new job. This is an opportunity that's going to change your life forever. :) Congrats!

Wow! Congrats, and thanx for sharing!

Congratulations. I am so happy for you and your wife. Take care of yourself and your beautiful wife. She will always be there for you in sickness and in health. Do not question her love for you. You are a great person.

ladybug

I just read this for the first time tonight. And, I am amazed. This just goes to show you what can happen in such a short amount of time. I know that I also only saw the ugliness in everything and my mind was so preoccupied I couldn't focus on the world around me. Reading this had me so very sad at first. Then when I saw he came back and posted (which was very kind of him to check in with the forum) his great success, it just slaps you in the face! What if he had chosen that "ugly" road he was thinking about? Look at what he would have missed out on. It really makes you sit back and think.

You and your wife must be open and communicate with each other about this. If you don't, you will only alienate yourselves and your debt will grow. Been there.