I was a single mother struggling to make ends meet

Deb, I am so sorry to hear about all this happened with you and your kids. You are a strong woman and that's the reason you are able to think positive. Don't regret things that didn't happen 10 years ago. Life is very long and it's never too late. I hope this New Year brings joy to you and your kids and you are able to catch up with many things missed in the past.

Thanks onelamb. I feel that there was a reason we went through all of this and some day it will all make sense. In the meantime, we try to learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them. I just reread the story and realized that I did a poor job of editing it. Sorry, but I think you got the gist of it.

DEb, I think you are going to be a wonderful addition on this forum. You are picking yourself up and trying to do better. I hope the New Year brings you tons of happiness. KYSIDE38

i remember when i was young my family used to take weekend trips to the viaducts. dad would pack up the coleman grill, pancake mix some bulletproof vests and cardboard boxes and we would all have a jolly time making pancakes and bacon the whole weekend. it was dads way of teaching us a lesson- its not trolls who live under the bridge just some hungry people who need pancakes every now and then. too bad the kidnappers came around and ruined it for everybody, now nobody goes there anymore. ah the memories

Muffman you make me smile. Yes, memories ... and oddly enough some endearing ones in the midst of the chaos of that time. They've torn down the viaduct where we used to eat because they are renovating the city. But the kids (now grown) and I still participate with a local ministry in helping to prepare food and gather clothing. We feel that this is the least we can do and probably should be doing more.

Deb,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Sometimes looking back on what you had to go through to bring you to this point makes today's struggles not seem as bad. The best of luck to you.

I guess in a way you a right. Now when something comes up that I wasn't anticipating, I feels more like an annoying fly that needs to swatted rather than feeling like a hole in the floor just opened up to swallow me. Head down, face into the wind and get it done.

debhendricks01, I like your attitude. Your story is much like mine and my decisions about finances and debt this past year seem to follow your train of thought. 2007 will be a great debt free year for both of our families.

Things will start looking up for you, Deb. Just hang in there.

Thanks everyone for the love and support. I know that 2007 will be much better. I've had a lot of distractions over the years ranging from unreliable job situations to trying to be the mom and help my kids find solutions to their life situations. This is my year and I've made it clear to everyone close to me that they need to stop relying on me for ALL the answers and try to find some for themselves since their issues drain my time and resources trying to help them. (long sentence).

Doesn't anybody else want to know why "muffman"'s dad took bulletproof vests on their campouts? Am I missing something? Whoops, never mind I went back and saw that it was in reference to the story.

Deb---Keep the positive outlook on life and stay focused on your children. Your legacy will insure that they will become adults you can be proud of.

This is true. You deserve a pat on the back, Deb, for pulling yourself out of this.

Not out of it yet; I'm still in debt and debt was what got me there. Like most of us, I'm one payday away from homelessness, so the veil between having been there and actually being there is still very thin. It would only take another set of unanticipated circumstances to get me there again.

Hey debtfairy, i understand people have hard times, but was your situation alot better back in June when you could afford the Bahamas?

I was homeless 10 years ago. My father died in 2005 and left me a very small inheritance. Probably going to the Bahamas was not the best choice, but I did it because I knew it was a once in a lifetime chance and my father would have wanted it. I had money left over to start a business, but my son had financial issues. I very unwisely helped him out of his mess only to have him crawl back into it again. So, here I am today back at square one feeling foolish for bad decisions, but also a lot wiser.

As for what happened 10 years ago, it's all very true and I climbed out of it by myself with no family support and no inheritance.

Hi Deb.

You deserved the trip to the Bahamas after all you've been through, so don't let guest make you feel guilty for it. As far as you helping your son with his financial issues, you like most good mothers I know, put their children first. It was not unwise to help him. It may have been unwise for him to get back into a mess, but that's not something you had control over. As far as being back at square one, you pulled yourself out before, and you'll do it again because you're obviously a strong person. I have nothing but admiration for you. The best of luck to you.

Here I go again with my unpopular posts. I don't get what the big deal is about being a single mom and over coming adversity. I am a single mother of two severely disabled boys with a host of medical problems.( I get no help with medical bills, I get no help what so ever, I take care of them on my own and fight the system to get their needs met) I work full time making good money, I have a college degree (which I paid for on my own) and I'm about to graduate nursing school this spring (which, again I paid for on my own.)I also work part time. Nothing new is being done here. Been in debt dug MYSELF out of it ON MY OWN. And.............

Amen to that one Steelers. You are to be praised for everything you do for your kids. You are going to be set for life with that degree. You go GIRL!!!! KYSIDE38

Steelers, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. My one son had a very difficult first year and is only mildly disabled now. To have two severely disabled children is a real challenge, especially with all the medical bills that go along with it. I agree 100% with Kyside. You are to be praised for what you do for your kids. They rely solely on you, and you're doing what it takes to make a good life for them. I also know that nursing is not easy. I only took the LPN course, and it seemed like I was studying all the time. If you're going for your RN, that's much more involved with much more studying. Your kids are very fortunate to have such a great mom!

Thanks, but no praise needed. There are a million single moms out there who are doing it on there own and with far less available to them. Heck, there are families with both parents in the home struggling and I think the majority of Americans live paycheck to paycheck and are just one unexpected catastrophe away from homelessness.

The only point of being a single mom was to point out that it was harder because of the single income. My ex was an a$$ and only gave me $75 per child for child support. He remarried a girl with income from two trusts and made over $50,000 a year so he didn't have to work and child support was set at the minimum required by law. Yet, he drove a BMW and owned a small airplane.

It's not being a single mother that caused me to become homeless. Truth of the matter was that it was a series of events the first of which was my fault. I never grew up knowing how to handle money or to make it work for me. I watched my parents waste their extra money on cigarettes and beer and knew that I wouldn't have the luxury of a college education like my classmates. I don't blame my parents for that because it was how they were raised. Like Robert Kiyosaki says, we learn our financial management from our parents.

So, first cause of homeless: my financial ignorance. Second cause of homeless: a neighbor (sorry I have to say this because it's important), a Mormon neighbor who wanted me to quit working altogether, go on welfare and stay home with my kids and bake cookies. She bragged that her specialized talent was that she was a former apartment manager who knew how to utilize the nuisance law in my state. That law states in general that if two or more people have the same complaint about about someone, that person could be considered a nuisance and thus could be evicted from their apartment. The hole in that law is that there is no truth in reporting requirement. Thus, she solicited my neighbors, her cronies, and told them to make false reports to management. When I became aware of the complaints I went to the apartment manager and asked to see the reports, she refused. I finally got the details of one report from the one neighbor who supported me and went back to manager and disputed the report. I told her that the complaint aimed at my children was completely false because my children were in school at the time that the incident reportedly occurred. I'll never forget her response. She said, "It doesn't matter whether it's true or not. All I need is three reports showing that you and your children are a nuisance."

I saw the writing on the wall and tried to get out to find a new place. At that time the county ordinance allowed potential landlords to collect an application fee of $25 per application. That doesn't seem like much, but consider that at that time, Salt Lake City was preparing for the 2002 Winter Olympics. Available housing was less than 1% because of all the construction people moving in. Any money I had for deposit and 1st month's rent got eaten up in application fees.

Steeler I congratulate you for how you have handled your situation and I think I can appreciate it as well as anyone else. I have two children who are disabled, not to the degree that yours are, but with ADD. Insurance wouldn't cover counseling and only a small portion of the prescription costs. I also had to pay for tutoring with no help.

You climbed up the hard way and you have my respect for what you do. The only difference between you and I is that you didn't have to take your kids to a strange place and sleep in a lobby filled with strangers for weeks on end. You didn't have to sleep in your child's room at the hospital for a week wondering if the head injury they suffered was going to affect them for the rest of their life.

But, I'm not going to go on any further with this. You and I have both had it tough and we got our stories out. I'll guarantee you there are people out there with tougher stories than ours who aren't telling them.

I'm not here to dwell on the past or look for pity. That experience lives with me daily ... not to haunt me, but to remind me that there was something I needed to learn. Here's what I learned: Mean people suck and you will never find a world where mean people don't exist. Also, the catalyst for becoming homeless wasn't someone else, it was me. It was me because of my ignorance and my lack of understanding how to use money and how to learn the laws and how to use that information to avoid the pitfalls that I fell into.

Lastly Steelers, you and I have another thing in common. Despite the obstacles and the difficulties we have in raising our children, we both went back and worked at improving our lives. You're a nurse. That's one of the hardest jobs in the world. I'm not kissing butt to say that either. My daughter-in-law is a nurse so I do know how hard it is. I'm a paralegal. Sounds fun and exciting, huh? It's not. I'll spare you the details on how it's not. Just trust me, it's not.

So, it's o.k. to post the "unpopular" post. I think that's what this forum is for. I don't feel put off and I don't feel offended. I'm not here to be a princess. I'm here to give my help in it's limited way. But mostly, I'm here to learn which is something that I need to do before I leave this world. And you, my friend, have been a contributor to that learning process and I thank you for that. While there may be times we disagree with each other. I want you to know that you have my respect and hopefully we can agree that it's o.k. to disagree sometimes.

Dbaker. Thanks. I admire you and everyone (well not everyone, right Doug Danger?) but mostly everyone who comes here to share. I can't believe how much I've learned in the last week or so since I joined this community.

Marketing post deleted - Mike

That's it. Three threads. You can welcome your Yahoo email address to hit every spam user possible.

Go get her :lol:

I won't. But that Yahoo account will be loaded with prescription drug, mortgage and other undesirable spam in no time when I get done posting her address.

I'm another single mom, but I won't post my story. It's very long, very involved, and at the risk of being accused of lying, it's got some very dramatic twists that some might find unbelievable. No offense to anyone, I just don't care to make it public at this point. I had a few years that were pretty awful, and when I look back at all that happened, I have a hard time believing it myself.

I believe in looking forward, not backwards, which is how I've been able to forgive the many difficult situations I've been through and to move forward with my life. If I had allowed the "bad" to overrule the "good" in my life, I would have curled into a fetal position long ago and never made it back.

Look SueBee - we aren't buying that "ran away to join the circus story", okay! So stop forcing it own our throats!!!

I don't care how many bears you claim to have trained to ride unicycles.


:D

LOL! Thanks for the chuckle, Jeff - it was needed today! :lol:

Those bears did pretty darn good on those unicycles, though. ;-)

i really admire all of you and i ask GOD FOR BLESSING A PRESENT YEAR 2007 and give the best days
for all of you.
i'm praying for all of you and your children.
GOD KNOWS WELL ALL OF YOU ,ME AND EVERYbody IN THIS WORLD.

Thank you for your prayers Alvarez and I wish the same for you.