My Life in the Chamber of Horror

Well here I am. My story goes WAY back, so please bear with me.

When I was a teenager back in the late 60's I decided I was old enough to take life by the horns so to speak. So with the babysitting money I saved up I bought a one way ticket to CA. It didn't take long until I was wandering aimlessly on the streets, singing on the sidewalk with my guitar trying to get some spare change. When a group of very friendly hippies approached me and completely took me into their "family". Well, WHOA! At first it was a wonderful time, they fed me, we became close. But then Charlie became demanding. He started preaching all of these conspiracy theories and how "We had to stop the man". Please understand, I feared for my life. Well Charlie knew alot of famous people, many "Who is Who" of that era, so I hung in with the family hoping one day soon I would catch my "Big Break".

Please don't judge me, but Charlie got me hooked on weed, heroin, you name it, the whole "Family" was involved. We lived on an abdandoned commune near some desert land. Charlie starting talking crazy. Luckily for me one night I got busted for prostituting for Charlie. The next night made law enforcement history and the next week Charlie instilled fear into all of Hollywood. I can't go into detail, it is too gory. Let's just say I can't drink a cup of Folgers or watch a Roman Polanski movie. So here I am, and there is Charlie, sitting in his lavish cell doing life in Sing Sing.

See, before they took my Charlie and the family away, Tex introduced me to this cool dude. He had scary eyes of course, but that didn't deter me. I like a mystery and the thrill. His name was Richard. His dad was close to Charlie. So naturally I clung to Richard. He had some cool tatoos gave the same ones to me. Not your typical ones, more like pentagrams. I didn't care about the midnight ceremonies. Things did start getting weird, Richard blatantly would stumble home with these bimbos who were, what I thought at the time, past out drunk, and well what he did next, I can't say, let me put it to you this way, I hate the word stalk, stalk of corn, stalker, and please don't you dare combine the word night with it. It sends chills down my spine. And I hate the name Ramirez. I got the clap from him! You would think that after all of this I would find Jesus. Hell NO. From there it was one loser after another let me tell you........

well Richard is now on death row. But I moved on. I decided to go to college. Study law. I met a super guy, I'll call him Ted. He was hot. Very intelligent. I thought "Girl, this is it, you finally caught a good guy!". Well whatever to me, God plays funny jokes on people at times. My guy started acting funny, he would disappear at night, come home with strange marks on his body in strange places. He started to become hostile towards me. I noticed at the post office a number of college girls' pictures were being posted and they said they were missing. Well there goes another good guy because Ted dropped off the map and I soon found him in Florida on Death Row. Let's just say that the Bundy in Al Bundy never wrang funny with this chick with the clap. Oh well, guess what I gave Teddy for Xmas that year! LOL

You would think my life has to get better, but I am a walking tragedy. Did I ever tell you about my uncle Ed Gein?