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A general life question about my daughter

Date: Thu, 03/08/2007 - 20:17

Submitted by puddlejmpr
on Thu, 03/08/2007 - 20:17

Posts: 1634 Credits: [Donate]

Total Replies: 18


Not sure if I should post this. But I wanted to get other peoples opinion on this matter (no not a financial matter either)

Ok my daughter is 17 and she came home from school telling me that she wants to join the army and take her training during the summer between her junior and senior year in high school. What would you do if your 17 year old son/daughter told you this? Would you support them with their decission? Or would you try and talk them out of it? I know how I feel about it and hubby has different feelings about it. What would you do?


That's a hard one. On one side, she will learn a lot, serve her country, get help paying for school, and learn a lot of life lessons. On the other hand it's a time of war and you know the possibility of her going to iraq is high.

Question: Do you know what is drawing her to the army? If she is interested in engineering or mechanics or another discipline then she wouldn't be on the front lines necessarily.

I would be proud of my son/daughter that they were willing to serve their county. A lot of the younger people nowdays have a "what can you give me" kind of attitude, and to selflessly serve your country is something to be proud of. You know you raised her with the right mindset.

I would also be scared to death.

I would talk to my son/daughter some more and find out what she is looking for in the army, and why she's decided to go that route. I'm sure she knows it's a time of war, and I'd bet those recruiters are all over her school encouraging kids to join up. I'd make sure that she knew what she was getting into, and that the decision was really hers (not like a friend of her's is joining so she wants to follow).

Another suggestion would be if you know any vets, maybe you could set up a time where they could talk. She could ask some questions and find out more of what it's really like. Informed decisions are something I would always support for my children, regardless of my fears.


lrhall41

Submitted by goudah2424 on Thu, 03/08/2007 - 20:30

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DITTO that.
I would just add two things...

Why not the Air Force or Navy? Educational benefits are much better with either of those two branches of the service.

Does she know what is in store for her? If she does go overseas, is she aware that she may spend a considerable more amount of time on duty than she may be first led to believe? If she is sent to Iraq/Afganistan, is she prepared for not only the threats to her life, but the sheer boredom, isolation, and the intense heat?


lrhall41

Submitted by Morningstar on Thu, 03/08/2007 - 20:46

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I know just how you feell! My oldest daughter who is in her thirties and has a career in the prison system, joined the National Gaurd and was in basic training from august til this past January. She joined for service time and benifits (it will help her in her present position). I am heart sick! They made her an MP and we know that she will be sent overseas - they are talking October. She has an 18 year old and a 10 year old. The strange part of it is I was an anti-war activist many moons ago and her is my daughter possibly going over to loose her life. Don't get me wrong - I am very patriotic, but I feel that the battles that we are picking now are a little to late - they should have been fought 20 years ago, but that is another discussion. Tell your daughter to look at all of her options. She needs to talk to some of the young men and women coming home from Iraq and some of them just out of basic trainging. I can tell you that the recruiters are like many of the collectors that we encounter. My 18 year old has one calling her from the army every day trying to set up a meeting to get her to join. They go tto the schools and according to my daughter they make the army sound so exciting! Her goals are in a different area - she graduates in June and wants to join the FBI so she is college bound.


lrhall41

Submitted by Colleen H Carrocia on Fri, 03/09/2007 - 03:16

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I must say this is a difficult topic to discuss.I am ex military myself(third generation mil.). I did not agree to stay in any longer than necessary because I do not like the way politics is killing our troops. Now don't get me wrong,if someone tried to invade here,I'd be the first to jump up and smack them. I just am not in agreement with what the government is using them.
If it was me a long talk in order.If her mind is set,steer navy or air force.They are the safer bunch.Ex navy myself.


lrhall41

Submitted by cajunbulldog on Fri, 03/09/2007 - 08:08

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I feel for you because my 18 year old stepson has enlisted in the Marines. Although he is not mine biologically, I'm still very close to him and love him bunches. (especially since I can't have any kids of my own) My husband is very proud of him for making this type of decision and it was on his own. None of his friends are signing up for any branch of the military. We're both proud but we're also scared at the same time. We don't know what's in store for him but we also know that he is an adult. He has a good head on his shoulders but this is a difficult time to enlist. He talked to us about it before he decided to join and he has true passion for it. Like it's been said, this is the "what can you do for me" generation. It doesn't make it any easier that much I do know. He'll go into the Marines this summer and he'll go with our total support. It won't make us worry an less but this is a dangerous world we live in these days.


lrhall41

Submitted by Cow & Chicken on Fri, 03/09/2007 - 08:59

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I hope i dont get kicked off the site for this.. I support our troops.. Just not the war that said my son told me he wanted to join a year ago.. I told him I would do everything in my power to stop him. he is my only child and I was not going to let him go to Iraq.. He changed his mind after weeks of fighting.. But as a mom and we are very close I could not let him go in this time in our world.
Best of luck with what she decides.


lrhall41

Submitted by Poptarts.mom on Fri, 03/09/2007 - 10:37

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I agree this is a tough one. My son just turned 19, and they started calling for him his jr year. Since he was in marching band, they told him that was all he would do - play in the band, and not go into the war. That made me upset because how could they say something that they couldn't guarantee? He never really expressed an interest in it, but when he came home & told us that, it did make me kind of angry that they would skirt the issue like that. But I think my main issue is that at 17, even 18 how many kids know what they are committing to? or what they want to do "for the rest of your life" There is so much growth for them in that last year, I guess my concern would be that what might sound awesome at 17 can change to NO WAY at 18 - but then they are committed already. I am all for service if that is what a person wants, and I completely support our troops - but at the same time I know I too would be frantic myself. No one wants to see their "baby" in a potentially dangerous situation. Just do as much research with her as possible so that if she stays with this decision, it's because she knows ALL the rewards, and risks. THoughts with you.


lrhall41

Submitted by dalfire497 on Fri, 03/09/2007 - 13:16

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Thank you all for responding on this issue. My daughter has now decided to wait on this until she does a little more research. She is leaning towards the air force because it provides training in the field she is interested in. But I let her read all your responses and it opened her eyes a bit about the situation. She still does want to join, but now is unsure of which branch. So thank you again and thanks for your time in responding.


lrhall41

Submitted by puddlejmpr on Tue, 03/13/2007 - 19:12

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As far as answering that with a parents perspective, I can't. I am only 21 and do not have any kids, so I can't say that I know how a parent would feel, I just don't. However, I will say this, I have many cousins who joined the army, both male and female and all loved it. They loved serving their country, they loved what they did. If that is her passion, let her do it, but just make sure she knows the consequences and is ready to grow up quickly.


lrhall41

Submitted by k_i_m2003 on Tue, 03/13/2007 - 19:19

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No problem. I'd feel the same as you if I had a child that wanted to join the armed forces . . . . Scared to death . . . . At least you know you raised her right, and that she isn't going to jump into a decision that could affect her life. She has the frame of mind at that young of an age to sit back and think on the decision before commiting.

You should be a very proud parent!


lrhall41

Submitted by goudah2424 on Tue, 03/13/2007 - 19:20

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Great that she's waiting!
Although I have nothing against the military (I did 4 years in the Navy and my husband was career Navy), I feel she's got alot more options open to her now.
If she still wants to join, she should go to college and go in as an officer, which will be much better. My husband was a senior NCO and trained alot of ensigns on his submarines--but still had to salute them! Just my two cents.......


lrhall41

Submitted by kscornell on Tue, 03/13/2007 - 19:22

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I responded before reading your last comment. That is great, thank your daughter for having such a kind heart, and wanting to fight for her country. It takes a brave person to do that and feel so strongly about it. I hope all works out for you and your family with whatever decision she makes! :)


lrhall41

Submitted by k_i_m2003 on Tue, 03/13/2007 - 19:23

( Posts: 170 | Credits: )


I know one thing that persuades the kids to want to join....

The recruiters that set up their tables in the cafeteria of the school and put tell them all about how much money they'll get for college, and the sign on bonuses they'll receive...

My ex-bf Bryan joined right after high school...He wanted to be in the military for the college money..His recruiter helped him pick his job. He would go 82nd Airborne. Shooting cannons and jumping out of airplanes sounds like fun..Field Artillery got him a 10,000 bonus...Jump school got him an additional 5,000. $15,000 is a lot of money for an 18 year old kid. He was thinking "I'm rich!"

Then about 1 month before his graduation from basic training, 9/11 happened....All of a sudden his choice of career didn't seem so fun anymore.


lrhall41

Submitted by Jessi on Fri, 03/16/2007 - 20:29

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I joined and served 13 years before being put out on a medical discharge. I served in the first gulf war. I am now a veterans representative and have first hand experience dealing with the young men and ladies returning.
I would not trade my military experience for the world. I went in at 18, a week after graduation. I had no clue what I was in for. I was a confused kid. I came out of basic training with full knowledge of my strengths and weakness's and a bucket of pride that no one could take away. My father was a vietnam veteran who took his life shortly after. I would say from my experience the military has been a proud part of my identity. I am always a soldier first, no matter where this life takes me, I will always identify with that part of me and be proud of it. I go to the VA hospitals and see the catastrophic injuries, and I can say even there that even though the physical pain is obvious, the pride is even more so. This is a personal choice, one that should be well thought out, especially now with the war going on. I say don't let your fears interfere with your daughters decision. Just make sure that she is making an informed decision. Recruiters are like these payday lenders, ruthless at times to make their numbers. My brother was in the navy and I was in the army, we were both deployed to south west asia at the same time, my mom was nuts with worry. We both came home, thankfully. Goodluck in your situation, it would be a tough one. Most of all be supportive, you don't have to encourage, just be supportive, she may change her mind. Young ones do stuff like that to test you. Hang in there!


lrhall41

Submitted by fedupinpa on Sat, 03/17/2007 - 06:07

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Thank you for even more input. I have listened to her. I haven't told her about the bad things that may happen. I just listen and make sure she knows what may or may not happen. I also told her that I want her to do more research and maybe talk to some of the ones coming home right now to see what they think. So she is doing some digging and letting me know what she thinks. I did tell her that I would be worried but that it's just a mom thing lol. I also let her know that I would be very proud of her in whatever decision she makes.


lrhall41

Submitted by puddlejmpr on Sat, 03/17/2007 - 09:51

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I think it's great that you aren't just telling her no, you can't. I'm sure that it's very difficult to not say that, but sometimes telling a teen no just makes them want to do it more. But it sounds like you daughter has a good head on her shoulders and you guys have great communication considering she's a teen.


lrhall41

Submitted by goudah2424 on Sat, 03/17/2007 - 20:18

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