When bad things get worse

ManofVirtues---First off, take a deep breath and relax. You have come to the right place---everyone here has been in the same predicament as you or a very similiar one. So, we can all relate to your situation and to the state of your mental health.

If when you registered on here, you provided your phone number, a debt counselor should be calling you soon. This is a free call that will allow you to discuss what the best financial option for you might be. And it doesn't always have to be bankruptcy, sometimes it could be a debt consolidation plan. Either way, please rest assured that you are among friends and no one here will condemn you because of your debt/financial situation.

Please continue to post and ask questions or just vent if you like. Welcom!

If I were in your place I will postpone the wedding date. This is just not the right time to build on more expenses. I can understand your feelings when a strong man has tears in his eyes. Your financial situation at the moment is already going through tough time. You and your wife will not have a good time because of all the debts after marriage. You need to sit with your fianc????e and think about it and take the right decision. Marriage can wait for a while. Just my personal opinion!

If you can get your deposits back, maybe do that and bring the wedding to a smaller scale and a little more intimate. My husband and I paid maybe $3000 for our wedding and it was great. We did a lot of the decorating for the reception and the wedding ourselves, had a friend of mine make the cake (it was her first wedding cake), instead of hiring a photographer, we had a friend of ours with a 35mm camera take our wedding pictures and we even put disposable cameras on the tables for the reception, my husband's brother-in-law video taped things, and our reception was at a place we could afford. We even found someone to cater our food for just a few hundred dollars. We did not have a sit down dinner just finger foods. Also for the rehearsal dinner, we bought lunch meat from the deli, cheeses, bread and such and just made things very informal and had it at the our house. That could save you quite a bit there. There are some ways to cut corners in you don't want to postpone the wedding. Just some ideas for that.

A marriage is more then about a wedding. You should be grateful for each other and from what you said you take care of each other.. work on your debt and as 2nd husband said try to get deposits back and scale down the wedding.
I just went to one and for the rehearsal dinner we had pizza and a lot of laughs great time.. and Mexican food for the wedding.. whole thing cost for about 40 people 1000.00..

From personal experience-most places will give you a refund on your deposits as long as you notify them in a timely manner that you are canceling or postponing the wedding...When I finally did get married(this is jus some advice here)I paid $200-That was for the marriage liscense and our wedding bands and then we got married on the river in OH-I don't regret a thing because even though I didn't have a huge wedding-I married the man of my dreams and I get to spend the rest of my life with him...and that is really what a marriage is about..Best of luck to you

It was funny watchnig my then fiance sitting at the table filling netting with bird seed and tying ribbon around them. We went to Wal-Mart and bought artificial flowers to make decorations for the pews. I did order my flowers and my bridesmaids flower and the corsages and boutineers from the floris and we did rent to candleabras for the alter, but even my bridesmaids flowers were just a single long stemmed starlily. We used paper streamers at the reception hall and my wedding dress was borrowed from one of my cousins. There are so many things you could do, or depending on where you live and what prices are, go to Vegas and get married at a chapel there. My folks had divorced after thirty some years of marriage, but got back together and went to Vegas and got remarried and where they were, the chapel was very nice and it didn't cost them very much at all.

Like what was previously posted, it isn't about the fancy wedding, but the person you are marrying. It can be just as special without all the gliz and glam. If that is what you want, then either postpone it or have a small one now and maybe for your 5th or 10th anniversary, do it up right. Right now it seems like the priority would be getting other things taken care of instead of having a big wedding...at least in my opinion. I would suggest talking this over with your fiance and going from there. July is a little ways away, so I don't know why you would have a problem with the deposits.