Anyway of getting out of Paying this debt to a family member

I am sorry for your troubles but here is my question to you: Why should your wife who did not cause any of this foot the bill??? What reasoning could you possibly have to justify expecting your wife, who seemed pretty supportive of you, to foot YOUR BILL? You had an accident, which is very tragic and I am terribly sorry to hear of, then you started drinking and gambling, LOST ALL OF YOUR AND HER MONEY, she stood by your side and then you turned arounda and did it again? Wow! Well if I was her, I would foot the bill for divorce just to be done with the whole situation! My husband put me in the same bind, got an addiction, stole all my money, put me in the whole to where I cannot even put groceries in my house and expects the same thing! How selfish!

Sad story, (if it is true). Here is my question you lost both of your legs in a farming accident. OK. So, I had a relative who lost both of their legs, OK, follow me here, well, they lost them through out time, one here, and then some time later, the other one. They could drive with just the one leg, but when the other one was amputated, well they couldn't drive anymore. I'm curious, even with prosthetics, how can you drive with two prosthetics legs?

Sorry to hear about your situation but I don't think you really understand my situation. I want to file for bankruptcy and she doesn't. That is why I think that she should pay the bills.

I was married to her for almost 20 years. I was the primary breadwinner. She didnt work a day in her life after she was married to me. All she did was take care of the children, clean the house and prepare the meals. She should owe me more than what I owe now in bills. Her credit is perfect because I paid for all of her spending.

Again your addiction is the reason why you need to file bankruptcy why should she pay your debts off? ALl she did was take care of children, clean the house and prepare the meals?? Sounds to me like she had her hands full honey! I think you should man up and accept responsibility, you lost all the money beacuse of your addiction and she stood by you and tried to be supportive. Stop trying to blame her because you made a mistake. Your wife is not responsible for your gambling debt, nor is she responsible for making sure you get the help you need beacuse honey you need to be in AAA and Gamblers anon. Stop blaming your wife, you did this to yourself as far as the debt is concerned. I wouldn't file bankruptcy with you either, and she isn't required to do so. You can file bankruptcy all on your lonesome....

Steelers, I have a "disability-friendly" automobile. I have two metals poles attached to the pedals. I use my knees to push them in as needed. It was a pain at first, but now its no problem at all.

Leah, that is what Im trying to get at. Isn't she just as responsible for the debt as me since we were married?

I see, you lost your legs below the knee, my relative lost them both above the knee, that makes more sense.
And depending upon what state you live in, some states are 50/50. But if she did not sign any promisory notes then she isn't obligated to pay them for you, especially if the debt is related to a gambling issue/addiction. I wouldn't count on her to bail you out. And to be honest, if I were in her shoes, I don't think I would either. Just being honest.

No she isnt. She is not the one who went out and gambled all the money away...You should be paying the cas_ino(WTH-thats a bad word??) back their money not her. My husband stole all my money and do you think I feel responsible for it? NO NOT A CHANCE. You want to know why? Because I don't have an addiction, I didn't rack up thousands of dollars to cover my addiction, and I will not pay for his mistakes. Now, had you not done the things you did to cause such debt and you were splitting up, yeah things would be different! But how selfish is it of you to expect a woman who tried to be supportive pay your thousands upon thousands of dollars of debt?? Was she at the boat with you? Did she drive you there? Did she run you to the liquor store? NO. YOu did those things. The only person at fault here is you...I feel bad for your situation, its gotta suck, but plenty of people have accidents such as yourself and do turn to drugs, alcohol and gambling or whatever addiction to get through it. You need to man up and just go file for bankruptcy on your own, let her have her divorce and move on with her life. Haven't you done enough damage with your lies, gambling and addiction? Haven't you?

Leah, I dont want to get into an argument, but I will try to explain myself to you. I paid her bills, bought her clothes, fed her, put a house over her head. Anything she wanted for the last 20 years she had. She had never had a job since she had been married to me. She would roll her butt out of bed at 730 get the kids off to school, keep a clean house and watch Oprah. That was it.I think it is time she paid me back a little.
And believe me, woman that stay at home all day to cook and clean always complain that its a full-time job. HAHAH. Thats nothing compared to what I do day in and day out.

Unfortunately for you the family court judge will not have the same view as you do. They view a person who stays home and takes care of the family and home as contributing to the household. You are not going to get a judge to rule in your favor and make her help pay for your gambling debt. If you try, be prepared for the judge to have some harsh words to say to you in open court in front of others.

I am not trying to argue with you either, however I do feel that you are being a selfish person and I think that as her husband who knew she was going to be taking care of the house and kids knew that you were going to be taking care of her financially...Somehow it doesn't quite add up to the amount of debt your addiction has brought on...But take it to court and see what the judge says...I'd be willing to bet that she wins allimony! I hope all your kids are over 18 cuz then you will be paying child support on top of that....Men kill me! Oh my dear lord...I am going to pray for you because you are dillusional.

Any male judge will know that this is a total crock. The only reason that anyone says this is that it is politically correct. There is no way that a woman handles half of the responsibility in a marriage if she doesn't work. She stays home all day knitting and watching tv while Im out grinding out a living every day for her.

Also, you may be forced to sell your house and farm, you will have to split what ever monies are made from the sale with your wife if you live in a 50/50 state, even though you think she never performed any job duties during 20 years. I guarantee you the judge will see it otherwise, and yes, she will get child support and alimony, and 50% of whatever is left over from the sale of your estate after you pay off the bills with the monies. You are not going to get your way in this one.

And if the judge wants to they can make you pay for her divorce attorney and all court costs.

Just out of curiousity then, why didn't your wife work? How many kids did you all end up having? Was she barefoot and pregnant all the time? I would be willing to bet you are one of those old timers who doesn't expec this woman to work until the crap hits the fan right? Good luck.... (NOT)

No, a male judge isn't going to see things your way because you are both males. He will follow the law, which isn't on your side. You are living in LALA land if you think a male judge is going to agree with you. I feel sorry for you when you go before the judge in this divorce case.

I dont feel sorry for you...You get everything you deserve! Treating your wife this way...Ruining both yours and her future!I wonder what your children think of you now??? I hope she can get back on her feet after all you have put her through!

It sounds to me the reality here is that you are angry that she is leaving you - and you want to punish her somehow? As a stay-at-home mom to 3 kids under the age of 3, I take serious offense to "all she did was stay at home, cook and clean." So what if she knits and watches tv? I do also. But at the end of the day, I am WAY more exhaused from my day than my husband is!!! Your wife saved you tons of money that you would have otherwise had to pay for daycare.

I would be interested to see if your bankruptcy wasn't even dismissed for abuse. Running up gambling debts and then declaring bankruptcy is not looked very good upon the judges. A lot of attorneys won't even take cases like this.

Good luck - I think everyone deserves a fresh start, but I highly suggest going to AA and GA right away!!!! Bankruptcy won't do a thing for you unless you make some serious lifestyle changes.

Wow ,the more you woman speak, the further you keep shoving your foot up your mouth. First of all I came here to ask a simple question. Leave it up to you women to yap about everything else but the question I asked. You know what, I don't really give two craps if you think that taking care of the house is a full time job. Where I'm from that is what is expected of woman. This world was a much better place when woman used to stay home and take care of their husbands needs and keep their traps shut. Now all the feminists want to try to get jobs and prove that they are equal to men when in reality woman should only hold 3 types of jobs. Nursing, Teaching or secretarys. There is no other need for them in our workforce.
Now back to the original question. I have paid her bills for years and now that I rack up all these bills she doesn't have to pay anything?

in your first post you gushed about how great your wife was for sticking by you, and now you have nothing but bad things to say about her. The bottom line is you are angry at yourself for f***ing up your life, don't take it out on your wife.

I am not a feminist, but things have changed a whole lot old-timer. I can't wait to come here and rub it in your face when Hilary becomes US President!!!!

I might add that women need to work in case they marry a f*** up like you. Divorce rates are on the rise, happily every after is rare now days. Therefore, a woman needs to be able to work to support her and her children if divorce occurs. I stay at home but I also have an education, thank God. If something were to happen to my husband I would have no problem finding an executive position.

Well, this is another post that's pure bulls**t. Call me cynical, but I don't believe one word of it.

Farmer Joe, I'm glad you're having fun at our expense. At the very very very small little chance that this is maybe a tiny bit real, All I can say is see what the judge has to say.

No she shouldnt have to pay a dime!

You should have to pay her....every month for the rest of her life or until she finds another man to marry....How do you expect her to pay anything towards bills if she has never worked? No one is going to hire her now and you said it yourself..SHE WAS DOING WHAT PEOPLE WHERE YOU COME FROM EXPECT OF HER....SO you open your mouth and insert your foot...

Hilary Clinton President!! There's no way. We would be at war for 4 days a month. The other days she would be crying about how Bill doesn't think she's beautiful. Get real. A woman should and will never be President!
Back to reality. She has no money to get a lawyer. I have lawyers that will eat her alive. There are other circumstances that will help me in the courtroom but I dont want to have to go there. All I want is for her to either suck it up and pay what she owes me or to file bankruptcy jointly with me.

Farmer Joe---You know that house that you came home to each day that was cleaned? And those groceries you ate each day? And that toilet paper you used to wipe your butt? They were all PUT THERE BY THE WIFE THAT YOU "WORKED" TO SUPPORT.-----You supplied the money--honey---but she did the real work!

Don't even think that you are going to find any sympathy for your backwards and "so-last-century" way of thinking on this forum! The women on this forum are empowered and a force to be reckoned with! Get over it and accept it brother!

Can we get this guy banned? Hes a real idiot! And if you are soooo far in debt dumby how are you going to afford said lawyers???? If you have money to pay for a lawyer then pay your debt!
There are other circumstances..BLAH BLAH BLAH....
Sounds like you got what you deserved.

Banned. Youre the person flinging insults towards me. Believe me, I know the best lawyer in the county. He and I ran on the cross country team in college. He is representing me for free, although it is none of your business AGAIN.

Leah,if we could ban for that we would have a very light number of posts.

Farmer,now it's my turn.I will let you know up front that you are dealing with a man. Now how in the heck are you planning on getting a judge to make your soon to be exwife pay for your screwups. I have never in my life heard something so asine and juvenile. She took care of you for twenty years and gets this in return!I do truly hope you are in a community property state.That way she can return some of your hostility and own 50% of everything you own.

How many times do people have to tell you Mr. Farmer Joe, there is NO court around or judge that is going to make your soon to be ex-wife pay for your financial screw ups. Get over that fact, it is time for you to pay the piper and pay for your mistakes. She will not have to pay a dime for you, you on the other hand better get to finding a third and fourth job, because you are going to be paying her out the wazoo! HAHA

The only financial mistake that I made was marrying her. I was having fun with MY money!! She never had to work a day I gave her everything. Im glad shes left alone with no skills.

Hopefully she doesn't make the mistake of marrying another sweetie like you.

Don't be mad at her for your mistakes. She won't need any skills, because you are going to still be paying her. You are just angry because you are going to have to pay up. Perhaps, since she LEFT YOU, she is feeling the same way. And what a horrible thing to say, you had children together, surely that couldn't have been a mistake.

are you kidding me? You had "fun" with your money? Is bankruptcy "fun" too?

Sounds like you are in MAJOR denial. If you think gambling is still "fun" after losing 100K, good luck man! Like I said, there is something called filing bankruptcy in "bad faith". You are the perfect candidate, especially if you racked up this debt within a year. And if for some reason you get lucky and can have your debts discharged, you can't file again for another 7 years so you had better change your thinking about this gambling thing.

You are glad that she is left alone with no skills? Umm, didn't she leave YOU???? Even the best lawyers in the world won't help you honey, it is up to the judge. You can't change facts, and the fact is, you did this to yourself.

You know I feel kind of lonely being the only man posting in here except for op. I am from the deep south where they had slaves and plantations a long time ago.I get upset with my wife on occasion. I would never be crazy enough to do what you are proposing.Any judge is going to rip you apart. Please don't tell me about your lawyer.My family lawyer was a parner with the Edwards family.You know them that ran Louisiana for a long time. Lawyers can be very useful,but a bad thing about them is you still gotta pay them if you lose and sometimes you will pay for the other side too.

Is this the same creative writer whose posts talk about being a ****, and a taking her grandsons future NBA money?

[color=Red]****Adult term removed - Jason[/color]

LOL. Could be! LOL. They are full of it just like that person. But a very creative person who is relentless with sticking to their story. LOL

why should your wife wo by the way was supporting you while you had your gambling addictions pay for a debt that you caused i feel that as much as she was there for you, you should be considerated enough and care about her credit and pay your own debt. you the one who wants to file bankruptcy why should her credit suffer because of your mistake.

Steelers, do you think this could be "pritty Patty?"

No, I don't think it's Pritty Patty, she would've shown some love in that story. She is all about love, sunshine, and roses. I think no matter how dirty her man is, she stands by him. Plus, she would've told her story in a love song.

You're absolutely right. I didn't think about that. There is a definite lack of love here. What a shame.

She would've titled the thread, "Priddy Patti and Fresh Farmer Joe"

LMAO!!! Even though he's a deadbeat with a serious addiction she would've stood by him. She would've staged an intervention and gotten him the help he needs. That's the type of gal she is.

Or, "My Fresh Farmer Joe Gambled All My White Picket Fence Dreams Away", OR "Another Beer, Another Jeer, Now I'm All But Shedd'n A Tear"

How about "He lost his legs but he still has my heart"?

Or, "I lost my dreams when you lost your legs". So......A hip, hop, a hippity, hip, hop, you don't stop. Jump up to the
****diddly**** you don't stop.

[color=Red]****Adult term removed - Jason[/color]

Thought of another, "He broke my heart, so I stole his prosthetics"

Oh My. I heard that song on the way to work the other day.

Yep. It's a small world. We just might be going to hell if this is really a no legged man, but hey, when we do get there, we will be able to put a face to Farmer Joe. LOL

LMFAO! Good one!! I know, I would feel guilty as hell if it were for real, but hey..You and I know it's not.