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Anyway of getting out of Paying this debt to a family member

Date: Sat, 04/07/2007 - 07:06

Submitted by anonymous
on Sat, 04/07/2007 - 07:06

Posts: 202330 Credits: [Donate]

Total Replies: 97


Hello all,
I have a story to tell and I need to find a way on how to get out of the situation I am in.

As you can probably tell by my name, I am a farmer, and have been a farmer for over 40 years. About 3 years ago I was in an accident and a machine mangled my legs causing me to lose both of them. During the time, my wife was very supportive and loving and I don't think I could have made it through that tough time without her.

Well when you lose something as important to yourself as your legs, you go through a lot. You always feel people are looking at you, you feel overwhelmingly depressed, (at least I did), you feel inadequate in supporting your family. To get away from all the pain, I started drinking and then after a while I started gambling.Together, these are a lethal combination. This is when all of the problems started.

First I started with going to the local gambling establihment about once a week, just to throw down a hundred bucks on a table at black jack, just to get my mind off of my disability. Soon after, it was three times a week and I would go there with $500 dollars now. After a while it was every day. I had lost all of mine and my wife's family saving and I was maxing out all of my credit cards. Those totalled about 100k.

Well during this time my wife had no idea what was going on. One day the ca sino called the house and told her that I was late on paying a 10k marker that they had given me. She was totally confused and called me up right away. I was at the gambling boat when she called and told her everything. This was after I the worst gambling day of my life. A loss of over 16K in one day. I told her I had a problem and that I needed help. She was behind me 100%.

I stopped the gambling for a while. Everything seemed perfect, we were working on paying back the CC companies and the boat. Then the next month a friend of mine from Vietnam came over. He brought a bottle of homemade whiskey over and when that was done, I was like an addict and drove straight to the boat. While I was there I lost another 5k on Black jack. Driving home, I got into a car accident and totalled my car. When my wife found out what happened she immediately told me that she wanted a divorce. I tried to play the guilt trip on her with my disability, but she was too smart for that this time. She wanted one and that was final, which I dont blame her for.

Here is the question. I want to file for bankruptcy, but she doesn't. Since we are splitting up and she doesnt want to file, I think that she should have to pay the bill. I know that it was my debt but I think if she wants to keep her perfect credit rating she should have to ante up. Legally am I obligated to pay for this?


I thought I had read everything. But, this one takes the cake. Is this guy for real? I think not! When I first started reading it, I felt sorry for him, but as I continued reading, I lost the sorry feeling and really began to get pissed off when he started he's speel about it being his wifes fault. She isn't the one that twisted his arm and begged him to gamble the money away. It was his choice and he is the one that should be responsible for his actions and PAY UP!!


lrhall41

Submitted by Not so Lucky on Sat, 04/07/2007 - 18:56

( Posts: 3041 | Credits: )


Wow, great to see you ladies having fun at my expense. I guess that is all that you women can do right. Just sit at home on your computer and chat? Does anyone on this site have some knowledge of my situation? It seems like all of you ladies and the one Southern gentleman have nothing but useless facts to throw my way. How about something that I can use!


lrhall41

Submitted by on Sun, 04/08/2007 - 11:48

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You come to a debt consolidation site for help to put debt on person that is not a party to the debt.Then you want legal advice to hide your part of it which is 100% yours at last count. I don't know why you thought you could get that kind of help here. If you would have openly acknowledged that you made a mistake and was looking for options to pay for that mistake,you may have received assistance. Have a nice day and have fun in court.


lrhall41

Submitted by cajunbulldog on Sun, 04/08/2007 - 13:00

( Posts: 4850 | Credits: )


OMG!!! They are right-it was your addictions that let to this and your wife stood by you. One minute you are stating how supportive of you she was and the next you are basically saying she did nothing to help you over the past 20 years? She raised your children and kept your house for you--is she was just a housekeeper you would have paid her all those years! I know about addiction--you got yourself into it and you can't expect her to bail you out! And yes, a judge--man or woman will side with her!


lrhall41

Submitted by on Sun, 04/08/2007 - 17:16

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Quote:

Any male judge will know that this is a total crock. The only reason that anyone says this is that it is politically correct. There is no way that a woman handles half of the responsibility in a marriage if she doesn't work. She stays home all day knitting and watching tv while Im out grinding out a living every day for her.


What century did you grow up in??? Staying at home, as I discovered after I quit my evil corporate day job, is much more difficult than going to work each day, especially if you have kids. You obviously have been watching "Married with Children" too much....Peg Bundy is a fictional character. Staying at home involves a little more than cleaning house...you must be forgetting about the laundry, the grocery shopping, the doctors visits, the looking after sick kids when they are home from school sick, the cooking....the list goes on and on. During the summertime, kids have to be looked at all day.

If her name name was not on the credit cards or the markers , she has no reason to be involved in the filing. She will have a attorney who will obviously make sure that all the gambling debt is assigned to you. Time to grow up and take responsiblity for your actions.


lrhall41

Submitted by SOAPLADY on Mon, 04/09/2007 - 17:45

( Posts: 17315 | Credits: )


I agree with the above postings---I think this is just one of those ignoramuses that come on here to post things that will get us riled up! You notice, they seem to fly in, drop their garbage and then vanish, never to be seen again? Kind of like birds who doo-doo on your car?


lrhall41

Submitted by Lorri on Mon, 04/09/2007 - 18:17

( Posts: 1721 | Credits: )


I think you need to go back to school and see how far we've come in life. This isn't the 1900's. You need to wake up and smell the eggs frying. Your wife should leave you and you should clean up the mess you made with the debt. It's not her fault you ran all the bills up. Now is it? Ask yourself that and yes i'm yelling at you. Men like you make me sick to my stomach. Just because she had your kids and cleaned and cooked for you don't mean she has to take your crap or anyone else as far as that goes. Man wake up and see what kind of world we live in. Do you think god would want you to treat any woman like that? I don't think so. You need a lot of praying !!


lrhall41

Submitted by on Tue, 04/10/2007 - 13:22

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ummmmm....Let me see......I was married at 14 (ture story no lie!!) And had my first child when I was 15, and had another child every 19mths after that until it totaled 4 children. I was an at home mother/housewife for 12 years until my youngest son went into the 1st grade and I was so bored at home I went and got a part time job. Sooooo......After the kids where in school (grades 10, 7, 6 & 5) tuition at the catholic schools was to much to pay so we started to cyb er school the kids. For those of you that don't know what that is the kids go to school over the internet.Anyways......Hubby never wanted me to get a job but I did anyways. Now that the kids are home all day again I love it. I still work part time and some days it's like getting a break from the kids just to go to work. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, activities (art classes, music classes, sport events kids need for school) is more work that I do AT WORK! So for Mr. Farmr Joe that says that a stay at home mother/housewife isn't a real job.....GET A LIFE!!!!!

Now after my personal input here are some facts for you.....

1) On your Fedural Tax return if you file married - an at home mother/housewife files as such.....meaning under occupation I always put Housewife. The US government considers this a JOB!

2) in some states if your wife never worked outside that home ....guess what .....YOU have to pay Spousal Support since she never had a job. You have to support her in the style she was accustom to living in while you were married. (So that my dear means you will be paying out the nose since you say you lived High on the hog).

So should she have to help pay your debt off......NOPE! Just like my problem where I got in debt with a CC my hubby is not responsable for paying that debt off for me!


lrhall41

Submitted by Mrsjlo72 on Thu, 04/12/2007 - 07:57

( Posts: 12 | Credits: )


I have had to read a little and then leave because this was really ticking me off. I don't know if this person is for real or not, but the attitude sucks! Saying a stay at home wife (with kids) does not work is BS. I have been on both sides of the fence and am now a working mom, not because I want to but because I have to. But when I was home, my house was always cleaned (top to bottom), which means I washed wall, windows, floors, etc. I cleaned up after my husband, I went to the grocery store and bought the groceries, carried them into the house, put them away and cooked 3 meals a day AND cleaned up the mess and did all the dishes. I washed the clothes, did the ironing, put the clothes away. Many times, I was the one the mowed the yard, trimmed the bushes, did what repairs I could on thing, etc. I was also the one that carried the kids for 9 months, had the morning/night sickness and didn't sleep worth crap. I was the one that had the c-section to deliver both children. I was also the one up every couple of hours to feed the babies, change the diapers, rocked them, I was the one up at night when they were sick or had a bad dream. I was the one that took the kids to the doctors and comforted them when they had their shots. I was the one that did everything for the kids and took care of everything at the house. When my husband came home from work, all he wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch TV because he was "tired", while I continued to do whatever it was the needed to be done, plus help the kids with their homework, give them a bath, read them stories and put them to bed. Oh, and I was also the one that took the kids to the park, the zoos, etc. I was also the one that took care of him when he was sick, took care of his uniforms, sewed on his patches, helped him wash and wax the car, attend funtions that I really didn't want to, support him in his military career, encouraged him to better himself, help him study for his tests,and on top of all this, I still had to have enough energy to perform my "wifely duties" and then have him roll over and fall right to sleep because he had to work the next day. He was military and when he was out to sea, it was up to me to keep everything going smoothly. I also heard the crap that is was his money and I didn't do anything...HA!!! Thankfully I am no longer married to him. This person thinks that his wife didn't do anything, bull crap! Being a wife and mother is 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Does she need to pay for his problem....HECK NO! He did it to himself and he is responsible. I too was feeling sorry for him a bit over what happened, but not any longer. The wife may have more skills than he thinks...you would be surprised what she knows and what she can learn to do. All I can say to this guy is "WAAAA WAAA WAAAA". Grow up quit blaming everyone and everything for your problems because you brought them on yourself and I hope she takes you to the cleaners!


lrhall41

Submitted by 2nband on Thu, 04/12/2007 - 09:25

( Posts: 2277 | Credits: )