This is disturbing to me

Karen I understand completely which was the reason I created the zero tolerance sticky here in the pub. I have gotten pm's from other mods and have forwarded some issues to admin dealing with this.

We got rid of a lot of negative energy in the past and it is high time we get back to why we are here and that is to give or receive help,not to judge anyone.

Thanks Cajun!! The disturbing thing is, it used to be anonymous guests saying this, but not anymore..karen

Ya know Karen when i first came here in June or July of 2006 I also, was very scared and very confused! I got loads of help and everyone was always very nice and supportive of me and my million questions. I know sometimes i asked the same questions over and over until i totally understood! Hell that's how we learn is by asking questions! Right? I also agree with u that NO one should be made to feel bad about being scared and not understanding what all this means! It is very confusing to the average person! (average here) ;) I think everyone needs to remember that we were once there also, not all that long ago! Until we walk a mile in someone's shoes we can't know where they're coming from. I always try to be kind and understanding to new members and hope others do the same in the near future. It will make this experience for all of us a lot easier and knowledgable so in the future our new members will be able to help others as they were helped!
Plz let's all get on the right track and remember what brought each of us here to begin with!
:D
Ang

And btw i'm SURE i drove cajun and lawstudent insane! :shock: but they were patient and helped me loads and for that i am forever grateful to them!
:D
Ang

Hun it takes more than one crazy woman to drive me insane as I already have two at home! :lol:

:lol: @ Cajun

Awww c'mon Cajun u know i was very close to driving u there! ;) ha ha
thanks for being so patient with me Cajun!
:D
Ang

Hey I enjoy shooting holes in lawyers papers and dear wife got a laugh out of it too.Now if I can find a lawyer who will take her on as a paralegal we would be set.

Gah! I had this pretty speech written up and it didn't happen because I hit the wrong button. SO!

I know that I come across at times as being rude, uncaring and uncompassionate. I try not to be rude, I do care and I have plenty of compassion but I am going to lay it how I see it from a collectors point of view. It's not a popular choice of career's but I can say in the 2 years I've decided this as my trade I've had 0 complaints or violations.

Debt isn't a pretty thing. People don't generaly like to talk about it or even want to think about it much when that happens. This site is very amazing. I really wish that there had been a place like this when I was in debt. I doubt I would have had such a big hole to fill up if there was.

FYI- I have not now, or ever had a problem with you, or your comments! You have been a big help to me and to others in understanding the other side, and to also help educate me in debt practices.

You know some people can take things wrong sometimes, but there is a diference when it is done to be mean or rude intentionally.

My best friend is a collector, and sounds alot like you- compassionate and caring-she has had no complaints either, and really worked to help others- much to her bosses' chagrin sometimes!!..karen

You all do such a great job and I want to thank each and every one of you. It is hard feeling helpless and I think you guys give great advice. There are so many posts.........was it always this much? I've only been on for a few months.

Glad you have gotten help mom!! The more people that register, the more posts there will be- but that's what makes this community great,and you get to learn about a variety of topics!..karen :D

FYI - you break the mold. Or how about better saying that you are not the stereo-typical collector. You listen, you work with the caller.

I am sure if we hired some independent company to review all this, they could find some answer. Who knows. My best guess - maybe some stress.

Yet, I can't say this enough - remember we are reading the words in black and white (technically in #000000, #FFFFFF & #E9F9F5). Inflection is gone, so while I can say "Bossy, you ****", my inflection makes the difference. Like here:

youtube.com/watch?v=dyMSSe7cOvA

Same word - different meanings. Oh...and Bossy, you do ****. :)

[color=Red]****Adult term removed - Jason[/color]

I sometimes think people forget that on this forum we can not be seen, no one can see our facial expressions and body language nor can they hear our tone of voice..and it is important to remember that. The only thing we have to convey those traits are emoticons which are nice but not the same. I know when I am typing a response I try to remember this. I try to remember the person does not know me, can not see me and they only have my words to see and words are powerful. Without being able to see the person, the words are left open to interpretation and sometimes things just look wrong when it was not the intent. I used to teach essay writing and it was very difficult to teach people to take the words from their brain and put them on paper and adequately convey in writing what they were trying to "say". I like to believe and it may sound niave to some, that that is one part of the problem here sometimes. I will admit that people can be mean but I hope that is the exception.

Take one to know one Jeff :lol:

Jeff, you must have posted while I was typing. Same train of thought. :D

what Roxy- that I suck :shock: :lol:

No!!! Never, besides if I really thought that I would pm you :lol: (Just joking) Read my post after Jeff's first post.

Don't lie Roxy.....say it. Express out loud the suckedness that is Bossy. FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR SHACKLES!!!!

;)

DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D
I agree that sometimes it is hard to know someone's intent without the tones or facial expressions but sometimes with jsut words NO tones or exprssions are necessary!! We all need to remember to be patient with new members and remember it wasn't that long ago we were in their shoes!
:D
Ang

I am new to this forum and I for one have NO complaints, just praises! When I first posted here I was a mess. I didnt know how to get through the PDL mess I was in. Thank God for volleyballmom, kashzan, cannr, RoxyNY, morningstar430, deeann.student and everyone else who was there to guide me through the process. Not only am I on my way to being debt free from those predators but I also gained a "family" whom I love talking to everyday. I even login on the weekends now because I miss my new found "family".

Keep up the good work guys!

Ang, I agree, we do need to have patience. I was suprised when I did not get kicked to the curb...or booted of the site for all my questions and breakdowns. And Jeff....trust me when I say, if I feel it I will express it. But Bossy is too swee to pick on..your are on your own on this one. :wink:

Aminah, as I said before, you have come a long way and we are all happy you are here. This is a great place with many good and kind people who support us completely.

Ha HA jeff!!!Thanks Roxy!..karen

It's hard to stay objective when opinions are involved. When someone has a problem with someone it's just best to confront them, get it resolved and move on. If it can't be resolved them just ignore that person. Let them make a fool of themselves. You will be the better person for it.

I know it's hard sometimes because your hand it just itching to type out what you want to say!. I know I've erased many a reply. Be the person that you are. Do what you think is right. Don't let someone on the internet have control over you.

Well said,FYI!! I learned long ago not to give power or control to anyone else,internet or not!!

If someone has a problem with me, I would much rather they pm me and get it talked out, then get nasty with someone in the forums where everyone can see it!!..karen

I completely agree with all of your comments. If it weren't for this place and the wonderful and helpful advice I would have lost my (what's left) mind. (LOL). As I stated in another thread we have all been in those shoes and everyone has something to offer in regards to help. No one should be belittled for offering assistance to someone new.

I always try to respond to a new person just to let them know that someone will be along to help them, and that they are important.

ladybug

Wow! :shock: I must be in my own world! I actually just try to answer everyone's questions and help find the information that they need. That's the reason I'm on here. If I didn't want to do that, why would I be here? I sure pray to goodness that no one has ever gotten a "bad" impression of me. I certainly don't want to scare new members or guests. I don't want to make anyone think they are "inconveniencing" me. What??? That's why I'm logged on. To help someone who is asking for it. Please tell me there is no drama. I so do not like drama. I like to help people. I get a thrill off of finding out information and providing it. I get a thrill off of them posting their progress. I don't disagree with anyone. I guess that's what I meant when I said I must be in my own world. I just answer the questions, give the information, and pray for them and stay with them until they can get through it. That's why I'm here. That's why I log on. Now, if I have done something to offend anyone or scare anyone or made anyone feel stupid or have been rude to anyone, please tell me! I would rather die than do that. Honestly. If there's a problem, please tell me. And if there's something I can do, tell me also.

cannr I think you are doing fine. I am aware of some details of what is going on and have not received any gripes about you girl. Just remember being a moderator does give you a larger presence here and rarely it can double as a painted bulls eye on your back! :lol:

I don't want a bullseye on my back! :shock:

Do not worry Cannr, as always I have your back. :wink:

It saddens me that we even have to have a discussion like this. The world as a whole would be a better place if people would just think sometimes before they speak...or write....:(...There is in all of us that little voice that tells us right from wrong...and having patience with new people is very important...otherwise where would any of us be??

Ok- this thread was not started to "accuse" anyone. It is just a heads up for all of us. When I post something like this, I include myself in the fact that we shouldn't forget where we came from or are.

I simply stated that some new members have had some problems here-and what can we do to keep the new members here.

I don't want any drama- am way too old and too much drama in my life as it is-taking care of a mother with 18% of her heart working-a disabled son, and taking care of my sis-in-law who had a stroke. not saying this for any other reason than to say- I have enough in my life- I am certainly not going to say or start drama!!

I call this forum a "family" because it has beome one-

Let's all try to work toward a common goal and purpose of helping others-again am including myself..Thanks to all who keep this Forum running and going!!..karen

:D

Wow. Things like this really upset me.
Karen, you and I were just talking about how nice it is to be here again. You know, there were some serious problems here not too long ago. Sassy and Goudah and I definitely understand that one..The three of us went through the fire one night! I very nearly left this site for good, and I know a few others almost did too.
I'm clueless. I haven't seen any negativity or rudeness. Hopefully one of the other mods will fill me in on what's going on here.

I'm with Fins on this one ?? Granted I haven't looked at every single post here, but the posts I've been looking at have seemed decent. Haven't had any trolls lurking around lately. Don't understand what all the ruckus is?

Hi Debtcruncher! neither do I see what the problem is?--I hope the discontent isn't simply because someone on this sight (myself included in this category)often passionately disagrees and questions others--because I myself have been guilty of doing that quite often ! and even though I don't always do it as tactfully as I should --I still get many pms from people here who say they agree and support my opinions but yet won't publicly post because they don't want to get picked on! I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't from the support I have received from so many members on this sight!(thanks to u all) I myself don't mind being attacked or called crazy or whatever simply because I question things and ask the wrong questions-- because that is my right to do so in an open forum-- but I am not ever intentionally picking on anyone here in particular-- because everyone has ability to respond here-- and as long as it is not a "guest" response to the person who stated their opinion you can make your own conclusions of particular situation and offer reply to person who posted--instead of "Oh my friend just got treated badly in a post--this is wrong--someone just attacked them viciously-- someone is deranged and doesn't belong here"?-- Nope--open forums in America allows all opinions and of course everyone has different fans supporters and naysayers! What someone would consider an attack--others in forum actually thank this person for opinion--I know this personally from being here for a very short time! thank you all for encouraging me to stick around :D :D :D :D

also thanks and much love-- woo hoo!!!to all of my fans!! peace and much love to ya all and keep up the good fight!!!!

No Ang, I was insane to begin with. And that pic you posted of a Natichotes pie only drove me further into madness. LOL. I can almost taste it now... but that's in another thread.

wow lawstudent--very eloquently answered-nice honest respo and I thank you for that get a grip on this hahah

Everyone is entitled to their opinions as long as we do it in a respectful courteous manner. Any posts are welcome if they are in compliance with our rules of the board. I try hard not to get mad when I am hammered by anyone here as it is the internet and me being mad makes me tend to disappear. I am doing like Karen and trying to toe the middle line to keep our site running smoothly and also create an environment where members & guests feel comfortable enough to share their problems. The last time we had a large influx of negativity here our web site as a general lost guests,members,and potential money off of our ad sense account here. I am gonna get off the soapbox for now but please do understand we run this board by the posted rules for a reason and if we lose enough traffic,we will all lose financially.

Cajun..Can you say WHAT kind of behavior? I'm serious, I am stumped. I haven't gotten any pms from members, and I normally do when nonsense is going on. Due to my schedule, I haven't been in too many forums other than pub and the ones I moderate, so that could be part of my ignorance. Whatever it is, let me know what I can do to help clean it up.

Another point... :D Mods, we're all in this together, right? Well, whenever we have a situation like this, it seems like big secrets are being kept. Half of us are walking around scratching our heads and the other half are busting their butts trying to fix a mess. It is my opinion that whenever there is a problem we mods should pm each other to let each other know. The more people involved, the quicker things are dealt with. Plus, certain mods may be able to handle a problem on the side easier than other mods. Just a thought.

Thanks Cajun!! That was my whole point- not saying- my friend got mad at someone-kick them off.

Fins- pmd you!! This really came about when I posted. I had had emails from others for a week or so, but was hoping it would die down-I just wanted to post and say basically what Cajun said- everyone has the right to their own opinion, as long as it is done respectfully.

I think mods should let the others in too- problem is sometiomes I only get a few minutes on here and I try to clean up the spam etc, and have to get off-but will try to do it!! Peace, Love, and Soul..karen

Karen and Cajun...you guys rock!! :D :D

I agree Karen I jumped all over you once because I thought you were falsely making claims about your current job and yet later realized that you had only worded your response in past tense experience instead of present--hey we all have differences and opinions and from now on I will do as so many on this sight have suggested to me-stay away from posts and certain people! And again thanks to all who are here helping others here no matter who your friends on this site are! :D

oops- I missed the one about you jumping on me about my job!! I'm sorry you feel you have to stay away from posts and certain people here. I consider all here to be my friends, until they tell me otherwise-so far no one has :lol:

Like I said- we should all stick together for the common good- helping others karen

Karen just tryin to keep it real!--and Cajun ad sense? question--Who owns this sight and who do we need to answer to? Not complaining at all--just need to understand the rules of what dictates opinions!here and why debt collectors are so vehemently vindicated on daily basis thanks!

Hanky this will be my last post on this subject.Our TOS is pinned at the top of the pub forum along with our zero tolerance policies. A person will no be jumped here regardless of their employment. If you don't like how things are handled,feel free to report me or any other mod to admin as is your right.

Cajun I will also try not to address you directly in any -one- on- one in future--I regret that you have somehow mistaken a question I asked and now are thinking that I don't like what you are doing and if so-- I can report it to someone--I am not the report card police on this sight!--why would I complain to anyone in charge?--Who said I don't like how things are handled?--I have actually admired your moderation tactics' on this sight--you keep them factual as you obviously have a lot of knowledge and you also don't bring personal drama or livelihood to the forum--and I admire you for that as I admire what many many others are doing here--I would just prefer forum to truly remain open and allow anyone to post their opinion as everyone here has the right to be wrong and disagree and also to lovingly agree with their friends' here (or debate a difference of opinion)Hey if you feel someone here has been an a-hole to anyone- you can then respond and say hey what's up with that? (or whatever) and state your feelings in rebuttal and that's the way it should be!--I honestly think many posters' do so as a guest because they don't want to have to answer to what happens if they post something that may contradict someone else's opinion or belief--my hope is that others on sight don't discourage new people from registering--and--having a face and posting (simply because they may not agree with others)--this is a wonderful sight and I would hate to see anyone here feel picked on or afraid to post or has been posting and hasn't posted lately because they got tired of all the b.s. after they challenged someones' opinion! And this is my last post on this subject as well --I think the constitution insures freedom of speech here in America and enough said on this subject! peace and much love to all :)