Spouse who has trouble w/ Money

Me and my husband EACH have an allowance during the week. We take lunch to work ( I cook a lot so there is leftovers)and use travel mugs for coffee we make at home.

We both work in the financial industry and have some excess cash on paydays that we used to gamble with (that is what got us into trouble). we have overcome that issue and now we sit down every payday, talk about whats being paid and what is going into savings.

Being honest and communicating is key!

Well your problem sounds just like ours only in reverse. It was me the wife making the very bad choices. I have been in charge of the money for 11 years. Some bad choices were made by both my husband and I, but in the recent past all bad choices were made soley by me. I got into the pdl trap, I at one point had 9 loans. I will tell you alot of the money went to bills, but alot went wherever. Just like your husband Dunkin Donuts everyday, Wendys, you name it. After Thanksgiving the stress on me was so bad I had to come clean with my husband, I truley thought our marriage was over. He was very angry but very supportive. He is now in charge of all money issues. I don't even get an allowance, because I caused us to have so much debt. He does give me money when things come up or when the kids need something, but let me tell you I have never felt so good. I am able to sleep at night, it was so hard at first and caused many fights between us, but in a few weeks it passed. My husband has done the bills now for 2 months and for the first time in many years we are paid up within the month. We have alot of debt, but as long as he has control I think we can get out of it. Anyway it will be hard for your husband at first but he will see your only doing this for both of you.

I think the most important thing that you can do is to keep the lines of communication open. I found when I was taking care of all the money in our house -we would have fights because my husband would want to buy things that we could not afford and did not understand why he could not buy it. Once I explained to him about our situation, he understood and doesn't ask to buy things anymore. I still take care of the money but at least he know where the majority of the money goes.

I have also found that being honest with the children has taken alot of stress off me. They know that I am trying to pay things off so we can do more things later. Now, they are not always at me to buy things or to do things. Everyone is happier now that I am happier.

I think yours is a fairly common situation. You aren't disrespecting him by handling the finances. In a marriage or living situation, there is always one that handles money better!

I have handled all the financial dealings for years now- due to hubbys request! We still communicate on what or how the money goes out. We pay the bills, put back any extra and also put back some dollars here and there to keep at home for emergencies--car repair-me having to go to the hospital, etc.


Early on, I sat down and wrote out all of our expenses for the month, including extras-then wrote all the income for the month, and showed it to hubby. When he saw it written down on paper, he decided to let me have the chckbook!

He deposits the check, takes out xx dollars for the week and we go from there!

Good Luck to you..KAren :D

I must admit, sometimes I have trouble deciding what is a necessary expense.. :oops:

I am in charge of the finances in our house, always have been. My husband and I both have excellent jobs, we make good money. A few years ago, even though we make better than average money, I ran us into the toilet and got into a PDL mess. I got all the help I needed on this site and within a few months was back on top again, but it was a terrible experience I will never forget.
After that whole escapade, my husband insisted that we sit down every Friday night and go over the bills. we do this, I write out the checks, and they go in the mail on Saturday morning. We have an allowance for emergencies, and one for unexpected bills. We also have a separate account with $1000 in it in case one or both of us has a car accident..That's $500 for each one of our deductables. I have a generous (but strict) grocery budget, and we each have an allowance. If we spend it, that's too bad. We are not allowed to take extra money out of the bank. We have a healthy account because of this. It took some time to do, but anyone can do it. It just takes a lot of discipline. The rewards are wonderful..We take nice weeekend trips and vacations every year, and the goal is for me to stop working at 40.

Thr rewards are wonderful...I would agree! We spend our entire summer traveling and do trips during the year...i lived aborad all my life when I was young so I havent been able to shake the travel bug!

i have 45 days of paid time off to burn this year!