what do I do?

I am so sorry that you are in this situation, you have come to a good spot for advice and guidance, hang in there, help is on the way.

I am so sorry to hear you are in a tough situation but you have come to the right place. Filing BK should be your last resort. Exhaust all other options first. Start by taking advantage of the free consultation available via this site. Good luck & God Bless!

If you can work it out, perhaps a debt settlement with your creditors would work. You can do it yourself for about 35-40% on the total amount owed.

First thing to do is...tell your husband! We watched my mother-in-law hide her debt from my father-in-law for years. We always had to watch for the mail when she wasn't around so he wouldn't see the statements and it was so much stress on her. Eventually he found out when a debt collector dug deep and got a work # and called him. Needless to say, it was a bad night in the house. That was it, he was mad and he got over it. Her stress was relieved and eventually they got through it. The debt is there and in your situation, it does not look like it is going away any time soon. Why have that added stress?

As far as debt settlement-it is an awesome way to go if you can come up with the funds to settle. I always stress this because I am facing it now, PAY YOUR NECESSITIES before paying a creditor! I have always been one to stress filing BK as a last resort too but sometimes you need to do what will work best in your situation. Filing is not the end of the world.

The best scenario is to get more income coming in to help pay this debt off but in your circumstance, your back is against the wall. Sit down, lay it out for your husband and put your heads together and go over your options. It is the best way.

Good luck!

I completely agree with girlndebt ~ you really need to talk to your husband. I'm sure you would want to know what was happening if your roles were reversed. It's quite a bit of money and it's not going to stay hidden for long. Like what she said ~ they will find a way to get to him and even though you don't want your situation to affect him...I'm afraid that it will. It's best to be open & honest with him and let him know that you want to work this out in the best way possible for the both of you.

Good luck....and even thought it'll be hard to confront him with your situation...you'll feel better knowing that you aren't hiding something.

I find it repulsive that you hide 30,000 CC debt from your husband and waited till then to decide that you have a problem, to add the cherry, you want to take the easy way out. The right thing to do is to work this out even if you will not get to spend a single penny on anything but basic necessities for the next ten years. I suggest you find a way to bring in money also and pay this debt as quickly as you can.

gottadosomething, you need to sit down and tell your husband asap! If he's like my husband, he will probably yell, get it out of his system and then sit down with you and figure out a way to get through this with as little damage as possible. Good luck to you.

Thanks for the replies. I do need to tell him but I was hoping to offer a plan when I dropped the bomb. I didn't know debt collectors could discuss the problem with anyone but me. Guess I need to talk with him asap. Thanks again everyone.

If the info on the credit info center site reliable? Know of any others that talk about DIY debt settlement?

gottadosomething, I have be able to DIY settle two cards of mine so far so it can be done. Talk to your hubby, get on the same page, and then discuss the DS plan, I have info on my journey on my blog. One thing really needs to be addressed is your bills, you mention you were putting monthly expenses on this card, were you over extending yourself? Do you have a budget, is your housing costs to high? What are you doing to reduce your expenses, because DS won't work if you don't have any money to settle with. And it sounds like your standard expenses were going on this card. So when you talk to your hubby, you need to have a budget laid out as well, where is your money going? That needs to be figured out.

So start with a budget -
Identify all basic living expenses and where you can reduce (cable, cell phone, etc)
Identify all debt including this CC
Identify all Income
See if your neg/positive each month and what can go towards debt repayments.

Thanks jb2007. I'm freaking now because I just got a letter today from a collection agency. Never in my life did I think I'd be in this situation. The biggest cause of the debt is that we moved to a state with a much higher cost of living so that my DH could take his dream job even though we knew the salary was lower at first. I thought I could get it all paid back after his salary went up and I went back to work. IF I can get the collections agency to work with me and give me a settlement finances should get better soon. We are moving to the state we used to live in and it is much cheaper even if the job my DH has to take pays less, we will be fine. Of course that depends on our house here selling, we are already going to take a loss on that... Yes, I was putting basics on the card but with the monthly fees and interest rates, it became more than my monthly budget. My only luxuries on the card were flights home to visit family and a huge vet bill. Without this debt we could live without going into further debt. I do think we have a few things we can cut out to save $ and I will use your advice to find more.

Anyway, I think the best course of action for me is to attempt settlement. If that doesn't work then I guess I will have to try BK. Hopefully by the time I know if settling the bill is possible I will be in a permanent place and have more knowledge of the future and what I really can pay.

Questions:
Anyone know: Can I file for BK if the debt collection agency files to sue me immediately? Or would I have to file bk before they file?

Is there a list anywhere showing which collection agencies are the hardest/easiest to work with? I tried a search but didn't find anything.

Sorry for such a long post.

I hope it works out, DS would be better for your credit because you can settle and then start rebuilding your credit, with BK if you have to do chapter 13 then your tied to making payments and to working with the trustee for up to 5 years. So usually DS is the quicker way to recover . Anything you can do now - putting any money away will for sure help, even though your moving etc, but anything you can save will give you a good start.

Thanks for all the support and encouragement to tell my DH. I told him today and while he was very shocked he was also very compassionate and supportive. He is not even mad at me but that might be due to the shock. Give him a day or two :). I am so relieved, this was stressful enough without having to hide it. Anyway, we are working on a plan to save a little more and also try to protect what we will desperately need while we move, try to sell the house and live without a paycheck coming in. I plan to send a letter with a proposal to settle my debt although I'm pretty sure it will be rejected since what $ I can get now is only 10% of what I owe. I will save what I can in the meantime and sell some stuff on ebay.

Question:
I've got a good form letter to start the proposal but I was wondering if I should add some additional info like that I don't have a job and my husband is losing his job, or does giving additional personal info work against me?