OVERWHELMED in debt!- NOT Working it out w/spouse! Help!

If you aren't married then do what you have to do take care of your debt....Trust me...My credit wasn't perfect but once I married my bozo husband its even worse now so take care your credit and let her worry about hers. And don't marry her until she does. Otherwise, her credit becomes a problem for you. Not to sound harsh, just personal experience here

If you are forced to file bankruptcy; you would qualify for a Federal Housing loan in two years from discharge. All is not lost. debt settlement is another option; read on this site and learn.

I am glad that you are doing the free consultati0on.I am sure they will be able to direct you in a way that will be specific to your needs. Good luck.

WOW! theres a LOT of info here! :shock:
I'll be searching threw it for days, weeks maybe!

thanks for the replies! God Bless!

If you need us we are here to help. Just post

Welcome!
Something to keep in mind is, having a high credit score alone will not get her a mortgage. They have started to buckle down on creative financing. It may be a problem to qualify especially if she has high debt to income. You don't want to get into a house anyway with all that debt. Try to knock it out first and you will be in much better shape than you would be if you add a mortgage to it. Just something to think about.

Good luck in whatever route you choose to get out of debt.

Being in the housing finance business; if your score goes above 575 and you have had a true hardship and your debt is wiped clean, you will qualify for a home. I know people who filed Chapter 7 and after two years their scores are over 700 as long as you don't go delinquent on any debt after the discharge. We build a new credit file from their rent history, cell phone, car insurance and any other source they have paid for 12 months - pay as agreed and you will qualify.

I dont think anyone is saying she wont qualify for a mortgage.

Girlndebt does raise some good points with regard to other factors, not just the credit score.

I agree with volley!
I only glanced at post..yet these days even a high credit score will not guarantee financing if debt to income ratio is terrible..21% on 35,000..to me is very bad news..should they actually try to enter into another obligation? ..I think they should rent and wait out real estate market and in meantime do all they can to consolidate obligations

Filing Chapter 7 eliminates all debt and you have a fresh start - no debt means we are only dealing with housing ratio to buy new home.

Friend:

A key variable in settling your accounts for less than what is owed (whether you do it yourself or do it through a company like the one I work for) are the hardships which you have endured. Of course, hardships are good, solid, document able reasons why you accrued the debt. In general, more severe hardships mean better settlements.

Best of luck,

Personal information removed as per forum rules. - Jason

HARDSHIPS-
other than a couple $1000 medical bills over the past 5 years, having another child, and not keeping track of my loved one's spending habits... we really didn't have any TRUE hardships...
:? -and like she said- we are NOT passed due on any bills...
we just don't have a way to KEEP paying them anymore- since the CC's are all now MAXXED!

there was a time before my child was born 2 years ago when i asked for a list of our debt-
$22K in credit card debt... only 1 car payment, and rent...
(thought we were on the way to Home Ownership!)
So last year i took out a 401K load for $10K -to pay some of the High int. CC's off- it was going to SAVE us over $1,400+ in interest a year!
i even bought a used Honda from the Dealership and had no trouble financing, so i thought my debt was going down...

----
Here it is 2 years later, and all the moneys spent...
and i find out our CC debt is now $35K!!! :shock:

-i'm calling the heelp with debt number now on the left of the page... Thanks for your replies!

ok, let me get this right...
after explaining all this again on the phone -then getting transferred to another rep from "BLANK-BLANK" Law office... i explained it all again...

so i understand i have 3 options (for now)

1. debt management
-LAW Firm fee of $850-$1000
they TRY TO get our CC companies to agree on eliminating Fee's and some Interest.
a) the fee would be locked into a set price.
b) we would pay monthly to the firm, and they would pay that to my CC companies... (i guess?)

Cons.
- the reduction in actual debt would not be that great, no principle is reduced + we have no "Late fee's" so far.
-our interest rates wouldn't be eliminated, just Lowered
- take longer to pay off, while still barely living paycheck to paycheck for years to come!
- no time off from work! (Nose to the grindstone like the past few years!)
Pros. it would be better for credit scores, and eventually home ownership.

2. debt consolidation
a) Same LAW Firm Fee- around $850- $1000. We pay them, they pay CC companies...
b) They try the Hardship tactics, and try to REDUCE PRINCIPLE + Eliminate Interest.
Pros.
- MORE debt reduced Quicker!
- Better than Bankruptcy, but not by much.
Cons.
- the feeling like you are a dead beat loser, and cant pay for what you said you would!
- Bad Credit rating, harder to get qualified for house
--------------------------------------------
i tried to explain to the REP. -we are NOT behind on anything!
And from MY experience with CCCS 12 years ago, if you are not in collections, or even past due, it is extremely hard for the CC companies to "SETTLE!"

that said- she "Assured" me that i would have everything in writing, proposals, etc...
and that they CAN work with MOST companies...
(it would just cost $900 +/-)

-i'm not liking any of my choices so far-
3. Bankruptcy - Not advised, our last resort if nothing else works.

GIVE ME SOME GOOD DIRECTION!
-I'm ready to stop paying ALL the CC's- and saving up all that money to pay any settlement offers!
(Since CC's are easier to reduce debt when they see NOTHING is coming in!)

So i guess my Credit is "F"'d either way... :cry:

WHAT! ??? no responces? :roll:
(wasn't anybody earning Comp Points last night or this morning?) :?
...oh well!

we will be around $300 short this month,
So last night i was thinking about stopping payment on 1 or 2 cards...
and paying all the rest off while keeping everything else current.
when they call, we try to make a deal at lowered payment...

i ran it by the Girlfriend and she blew-up
"I dont like Any of your ideas!"
i said- "i've given you about 5 options so far, and nothing is good enough for you... So, What's YOUR Solution?"

i haven't recieved a responce, and she's left for work...
if you won't do it for me, CAN ANYONE HELP HER OUT finding a GREAT solution?
:(

sorry- i wasn't logged in!
------------------------------
WHAT! ??? no responses? :roll:
(wasn't anybody earning Comp Points last night or this morning?) :?
...oh well!

we will be around $300 short this month,
So last night i was thinking about stopping payment on 1 or 2 cards...
and paying all the rest off while keeping everything else current.
when they call, we try to make a deal at lowered payment...

i ran it by the Girlfriend and she blew-up
"I dont like Any of your ideas!"
i said- "i've given you about 5 options so far, and nothing is good enough for you... So, What's YOUR Solution?"

i haven't received a response, and she's left for work...
if you won't do it for me, CAN ANYONE HELP HER OUT finding a GREAT solution?
:(

Well, reduce spending. You don't like any of the other options, maybe its time to look at how to reduce what you spend now in order to pay more towards your cc debt. You told about some mandatory expenses in your budget, can you sacrifice some of the nicer things in life, and reduce your debt. Two years or so of sacrifice for good credit and a home of your own with a good interest rate, may be the solution your needing.

Reading through your posts, I never saw anything about contacting your credit card companies to try to lower your interest rates. Some of them can be easy to work with while others are more of a pain in the you know what.

It is a start and may save you some money in the meantime while you look at your other options.

And don't give up. I had to keep up on chase for 8 months now, and they jsut finally agreed to lower my 29% apr after they ratejacked me for BS reasons.

Good luck OP!

Thanks Shayla and Guest, for the reply!
We did try lowering rates 5 years ago -when trying to qualify for a mortgage, then 2 years ago before the son was born...
the problem is that some companies are doubling their MIN Payment Requirements (it happened to 2 cc's so far!- with more about to SNOWBALL!)
and the ones that reduced, went from 23.99% down to 18.9% or "Still High!" -others Didn't Budge!

-----------
there is no way she would do bankruptcy!

so i'm thinking we will go the "debt consolidation route,
I just have to Convince Her to do it!

it's looking like it's the only way we'll get by -without going Bankruptcy!-

our income of $2,600/ mo. is just not enough to cover living expenses ($1900/mo) AND CC bills ($985/mo.)

Trimming the Fat (like living a lower -penny pinching lifestyle) is not an option!
We're as low as it gets- no vacations, no party's, no resaraunts, NO NOTHING- FOR YEARS!
(Thats why i thought we were making progress, just to be "Conned" into thinking she was paying everything off!)

We've been living in the slums, and drive cheap Civics, eat mac and cheese almost every day, i even quit smoking because i couldn't afford them!
it's really all my own fault, for not watching what was happening financially... :(

Live and Learn!
Thanks for all the good replies,
Good Luck, and God Bless Everyone!

I'd still call your credit card companies. I bug the hell out of mine every 3 months and most of them move a little. Even a 2% decrease will make some dents. If that doesn't work, write a letter to the corporate offices (requires a little digging online, but there are lots of posts all over that might help) and say that you have been a good customer ( I assume at least) and are looking for a little relief. Even if they only offer it for 12 months it's better than nothing.

Its at least something until you and spouse can make some better decisions.

good luck mariacide..you have definitely trimmed all the fat you can from your description above....and I wouldn't really blame yourself..these things can happen to anyone overnight..everything is going fine and then the rug gets pulled out from under ya...
Shayla! Good for you as well! Credit card companies will offer you better rates (in my experiences) ..especially if you mention another company who gave you a better offer to transfer balances

Things can happen overnight and they do, However when you say your "Conned" that's not something happening overnight. That is deception and possibly your solution should have nothing to do with the "Conner". Do what's best for you and your credit, because if it doesn't work out, you need the best credit you can get for you and all the kids. Good Luck, but financial deception, probably a clue to the future.