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Looking forward to reaching my goal of owning my own home

Date: Wed, 07/20/2005 - 18:33

Submitted by 123
on Wed, 07/20/2005 - 18:33

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Total Replies: 4


Looking back, I am, what I call, a "Married-Single" mom. Although married, I had the full responsibility of raising four boys. Towards the latter part of my marriage, I was fortunate enough to become a Medical Transcriber and work from home. This allowed me to earn my own money to get the boys some of the basic things they needed, as well as be there for them as they grew up. My husband came into my home office one day and totally blew me away. He said, "I think we made a mistake," meaning HE had made a mistake and it had taken him 20 years to realize it! He finally convinced me that he had indeed made a mistake and I decided to file for a divorce. During the divorce settlement process, I lost my job and my soon to be ex wasn't willing to pay up on the terms we had agreed on. I ended up having to file for bankruptcy and the only thing I owned outright was my 1990 Dodge truck, which I still am driving to this day. It was almost the end of the year at that time, and he still owed me a couple of thousand dollars, but was not willing to part with it. I could have taken him for everything he owned, but I only wanted my fair share. I didn't think that was too much to ask after 20 years of marriage. I ended up having to threaten to take him to court for the rest of what he owed me before he finally paid up. I used that money to find another job and gave some to my sister, who had graciously allowed me to stay with her until I could get back on my feet. If it hadn't been for her, I honestly don't know what I would have done. It took almost a year to find work. My brother-in-law told me that a front desk position was going to be available at the company where he worked and he suggested I put in my application. I did and was hired for the position. I felt like things were finally looking up for me and I had already set a goal to own my own home. I worked for a few weeks before finding the little (and I do mean little!) house I now rent. I was only bringing home $260 a week, but was able to meet the rent and other bills without a problem, even able to put extra in my checking account. Naturally, disaster hit about this time. The transmission went out in my truck and was going to cost about $1,6000 to replace. I had to wait until tax refund time and add that to what I had managed to save to pay for it, but I needed my truck. I had to start from scratch again, but the goal of owning my own pushed me forward. After three years had passed since my bankruptcy, I was given advise to try to build up my credit and was told I should apply for a credit card. I was finally able to get one with a $500 limit. The low limit was perfect for me and although I did use it from time to time, I never let it get to the limit. I did eventually end up with 3 cards, but kept up my payments and didn't go over the limit. I had succeeded in building my credit score and was even looking into houses to buy with the help of a realtor friend of mine. My credit wasn't great, but I did qualify for a home loan and was getting excited about reaching that goal! Then, disaster hit once again. Last winter we had a severe snow storm. We had a little over 3 feet, that's FEET not inches, of snow on the ground!!! I couldn't even open my door to get out if I had to and had to miss two days of work that week. My take-home pay that week was only $175!!! Long story short, the credit cards went to the limit and over and I've been playinng "catch-up" ever since, but not very well. My phone was cut off and I even had my electricity shut off for 3-1/2 weeks and they had turned it off the day AFTER I had been to the grocery store. I came home from work the following day to an EXTREMELY quite home and all the food I had purchased the day before and put in the fridge was ruined and had to be thrown out! Then the calls started. There were 15 to 20 calls a day, 7 days a week AND on holidays!!! They were even calling me at work, putting me at risk of losing my job!!! I would send payments when I could, but was being burried in late fees, over the limit fees and interest fees. I did decide to answer one of the creditors that called and FOUR times I was told FOUR different things and given FOUR different amounts that were acceptable as payments. The first acceptable payment was $8, then $35, $56 and finally $89! I was told I qualified for a "re-age" program at first, then told I didn't, then I did and finally I didn't. I was so frustrated that I saw my goal of owning my own home slipping away fast. I was so downhearted and depressed I didn't know what to do. I was ready to give up and call it quits on owning my own place, but there was still a little glimmer of hope deep down inside. But when I was able to reconnect my phone and have my electricity turned back on, that hope started to grow again. I'm managing most of my debt by myself right now, but I am finally seeking help with two of the biggest interest-bearing credit cards that I have. I would not recommend either of these companies to anyone!!! I do still have one credit card I plan on keeping and this one is under the limit and not being used at this time. I am hoping to get help with the two big cards so I can again look forward to reaching my goal of owning my own home!


123, I feel that you are strong person facing the situations as it came to you. The most painful part is the divorce when 20 long years could not avert this pain.

I am sure that you will be able to live to your dreams of owning your home. You don't have to think about it.

I am just praying that you clear the payments of your two credit cards quickly and rebuild your credit. Make sure that you make good decisions regarding the third credit card.

Aren't your kids by your side presently? They should be your real support to take good care of you.


lrhall41

Submitted by ben on Thu, 07/21/2005 - 15:33

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Ben,

Thank you for your kind words! Living alone now, I don't hear words of support or encouragement that I need to hear now and then, and I do appreciate it very much!

I never wanted to get those cards in the first place because I knew some people who did abuse credit cards terribly and quickly found themselves in deep debt. The only reason I resorted to getting them myself was that I was encouraged by a lot of people, amazingly including someone at my bank, that that would be a good way to repair my credit after my bankruptcy. I was only going to hang on to the two, that are now the major source of my debt, until I could get a loan for a house and then they were going to be dropped. The third I was going to keep only for emergencies and didn't carry any of them with me. The late fees and all the charges quickly shot the balance to where it is now.

My four boys are my pride and joy, but they have no idea about my financial situation. Two of them are married and have given me grandchildren. When the downhill slide started, one of my sons was in Afghanistan, fighting for the freedoms I so much enjoy here! My youngest was away at basic training, inspired by his older brother. They all have lives of their own now, with their own responsibilities, and I just couldn't bring myself to ask them for help.

I do feel in my heart that things are picking up for me, slowly, but surely. I learned at a very early age to always look for the positive, no matter what. I find that positive and move towards the future and leave the past in the past where it belongs.

Thanks again!


lrhall41

Submitted by 123 on Thu, 07/21/2005 - 19:07

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It is so good to hear that your children have kept your dignity understanding how you looked after them since your childhood.

I definitely feel that you will move ahead in your life with zeal and passion and face situation of any kind strongly.

Do not feel alone. Whenever you feel like sharing anything with us, you can share it with an open heart in this segment. :D We will wait to hear some good stories from you.


lrhall41

Submitted by ben on Fri, 07/22/2005 - 12:56

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