On Death, Cancer and Life in General....

Hi guys...

Things have been kind of strange around our place lately.

Most of you know I've been married & divorced twice...with no plans to ever do that again. ;-)

However..just in the past week, both of my ex's mothers (meaning the grandmother & grandma-type to my kids - both treated my kids as their grandkids) have passed away. One was 86, the other, only 63.

I'm not sure how I feel about this, aside from the overwhelming feeling of sadness and grief, which I realize is normal. The 86-year-old mom-in-law lived with our family for 6 years before my ex and I split up in 2001, then she moved a few states away to live with one of her other children, and I haven't seen her since. I wasn't even able to send flowers or a card to her funeral, as I wasn't informed of when it was. I knew that she was most likely going to pass away sometime soon, but I didn't know until a week later that it had actually happened. I'm not bitter over it - I realize their family had a lot to deal with, and that this funeral was particularly painful for them, having already lost their dad over 10 years ago... and that letting me know the details was probably the last thing on their mind at that time...but it sure would have been nice to be able to express my condolences in some way at the time. She was a big part of my life, and my children's, as we were of hers.

The 63-year-old mom-in-law was diagnosed with cancer last year due to a contraceptive device she had placed in her body back in 1963 - and never had removed. This death saddens me the most, I think, because it was completely preventable. I'm not saying she would have never gotten some other form of cancer, but it wouldn't have been like this. My daughter is her only biological grandchild, since my ex was her only child. (She lost an infant in a fire many years ago.) She claimed her 2nd husband's grandkids as her own, of course, but my daughter was the only biological grandchild she had, and they had a very special bond.

I've spent a good amount of time thinking about these two deaths, which occurred only 8 days apart, and the affect they've had on people's lives. One of them was a decorative painter, and did many craft shows, was a member of an artisans guild in her area. I know she brought a lot of joy to a lot of people with her art. The other was a mother and housewife who fiercely protected and defended her kids when necessary, took them to church whenever the doors were open, and raised them with true Southern manners and grace. Both were fantastic women in their own right, and their absence in this world leaves a void that will never be filled by any other.

I'm not sure why I posted this here, of all places, except that my DebtCC family has always been here for me, and I've tried to be here for many of you during the difficult times of your life, if only to provide a shoulder to cry on or moral support.

I guess I just felt a need to get these words in print, to "let them out", so to speak...to let someone else know, even if it's just a few people here on the site, that these women existed...mattered...made a difference...and are terribly missed.