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Money Money Money Monkey

Date: Wed, 08/27/2008 - 09:12

Submitted by Frogpatch
on Wed, 08/27/2008 - 09:12

Posts: 5381 Credits: [Donate]

Total Replies: 36


It is Monday morning and the phone rings at the main office of Congorama Inc. deep in the Congo jungle.
“Good Morning Congorama, George speaking.”
“Wazu please.”
“Wazu is not here.”
“Does he have voice mail?”
“No he doesn’t.” George replied. “May I help you?”
“I need to speak to him.” The man insisted.
“He won’t understand you. He does not speak English or any African dialects either."
“What language does he speak?”
“Monkey.”
“Monkey?”
“Yeah! You know! Gibbonese, Chimpanese, Howler. He is a monkey. A gibbon!”
“A gibbon?” the man queried. “I do not believe you. I think you are Wazu and you owe me 375.00. You pay me now!”
“For what?” George asked.
“You borrowed it from Kilimanjaro Kash and never paid it back.”
“You loaned money to a gibbon?”
“No, to you! You took money and did not pay it back. I will have you arrested at your job if you don’t pay me in 24 hours.”
“I am not Wazu.” George insisted. “He works for me.”
“He took out a payday loan.” The man said. “He never paid it back.”
“How could he possibly pay you back.? I pay him in bananas.”
“Bananas? What kind of business do you run there?” He asked
“Monkey business.”
“Monkey business?”
“Yeah, monkey bars, jungle gyms, that kind of stuff.”
“This is a serious matter! I will send you a wage assignment for 375.00 or roughly 204750 Congolese Francs.”
“How many bananas does that work out to be sir?”
“I will have my manager call him. He will be downloaded to the Courthouse in Brazzaville.”
“OK whatever. You know I was wondering where he got that new watch from.”
“ New watch? He can tell time?”
“No, but he thinks I don’t know. Although, come to think of it, he has not been late since he got it.”
“I am coming there to get my money now. You are lying to me.” He shouted.
“OK! Be careful, it’s a jungle out there.”
Click. The man hung up.
A minute later in strolls Wazu the gibbon, wearing a new white suit and looking at his shiny new watch! Right on time!

To be continued….


When I came to this site over a year ago there was a lot more fun and humor between the members even though many of us, including myself, spent many sleepless nights as we struggled with our financial issues. I am just trying to bring some of that levity back. It is healthy to smile and to laugh.


lrhall41

Submitted by Frogpatch on Wed, 08/27/2008 - 13:28

( Posts: 5381 | Credits: )


It is mid morning on Tuesday at the main office of Congrama. The phone rings and George answers.
???????Good Morning Congorama, George speaking. May I help you????????
There is a woman on the other end.
???????Good morning. Mr. Gibbon????????
???????No,??????? George replies, ???????there is no one here by that name.???????
???????He gave this number as his place of employment.???????
???????Who did????????
???????Mr. Gibbon. Wazu T. Gibbon.??????? She answered.
???????Oh no! Don????????t tell me you loaned him money too.???????
???????So he does work there. May I speak with him????????
???????No he is on his break. He is watching taped reruns of The Apprentice and can????????t be disturbed or he is shot for the rest of the day.???????
???????Can you have him call me????????
???????No,??????? George responded. ???????He does not speak any human languages.???????
???????Is he challenged????????
???????You might say that. He is a monkey. It is Wazu the gibbon. Not Wazu T. Gibbon.???????
???????The monkey watches The Apprentice????????
???????Yeah it helps improve his work ethic. Monkey see monkey do as they say. He already has the others doing all his work for him. He has become a take charge type.???????
???????Well seeing that you own him I believe it is you who is responsible to pay this loan back that he took from Congo River Cash.???????
???????I do not own him, he punches the clock just like everyone else, although I was thinking about putting him on salary.???????
???????His application says he makes 2000 Francs per hour. Is that true???????? She asked.
???????No he makes 2 bananas per hour plus over time.???????
???????You pay him bananas????????
???????Yeah he is a monkey.??????? George reminded her. ???????You give a monkey some bananas and they are happy. At least I thought so until he started taking out pay day loans.???????
???????How am I going to get this money repaid if you pay him in bananas????????
???????That could be a problem. He is also under 18 and too young to sign a contract if he could write, which he can????????t.???????
???????I have an electronic signature that clearly says Wazu T. Gibbon.???????
???????He can????????t type, he is a monkey.???????
???????Who took this loan then????????
???????The person you should be looking for.??????? George replied.
???????Good day, Sir!???????
Click.


lrhall41

Submitted by Frogpatch on Tue, 09/02/2008 - 10:06

( Posts: 5381 | Credits: )


It is Thursday morning and the phone rings at the headquarters of Congorama Inc. deep in the Congo jungle. George, the owner answers as usual.
???????Good morning, Congorama, how may I help you????????
???????Monkey please???????? asks the man on the other end.
???????Which one did you want sir????????
???????There is more than one????????
???????Uh yeah, it????????s a jungle.??????? George answers.
???????Wazu is his name! Wazu Gibbon! .I need him to come to the phone now!???????
???????OK but he does not speak any human language. Are you that bill collector again????????
Yeah, but this time I brought an interpreter.??????? He answers gruffly.
???????You have someone who speaks Gibbonese???????? Who is that????????
???????Another monkey that understands English and that monkey language.??????? He insists.
???????Ok I will get him and put him on speaker. This should be interesting.???????
???????Wazu, come in here there is someone who wants to speak with you.???????
Wazu comes through the door into the office wearing a hard hat and tool belt. He takes a seat at the desk next to George.
???????OK put him on Sir.???????
The man on the other end says,??????? Tell him that he owes me 375.00 US dollars and if he does not pay there will be baboons at his work place to collectwhen he leaves.???????
Over the phone comes something like ???????hhooo hhoooo yikki yikki yeeeeeee hooooo hoooo,???????
Wazu replies. Yaaaaaah yaaaaaah yeeeeeeee hhooooooooo hooo.???????
???????Wikki wikki wikki waaaaa ha ha ha waaaaaaa.??????? The other monkey screams,???????Chit chit chit chatta cheeeeeeee chatta cheeeeeee. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeee."
???????yaahhhhhhhh!???????
???????Yeeeeeeep.???????
???????What did he say???????? George asks.
???????I don????????t know????????
???????What????????s the point of an interpreter if you don????????t know what was said????????
???????I got the message across. He will pay up.???????
???????I am not so sure. Wazu just put his new watch back in the box and punched out. I think your boy just took a bribe.???????
???????Crap!???????
Click.


lrhall41

Submitted by Frogpatch on Wed, 09/10/2008 - 10:02

( Posts: 5381 | Credits: )


LOL,even monkeys can put one over on these people.great story frogger. 8) :D


lrhall41

Submitted by paulmergel on Wed, 09/10/2008 - 10:21

( Posts: 15514 | Credits: )


I have not been able to post in a while as I had to go into the hospital after a nuclear stress test failed to reveal why the pains I was getting were getting worse and more frequent. Well, they did a cardio catheterization and discovered I had a 95% blockage in the upper extension of my right coronary artery and stuck a stent in there along with a second one in an old blockage of a small artery from ten years ago. Between the chest pains, the ordeal, an infection that gave me a 102 fever after the visit and all the meds, I was out of commision for a while.
I am back now and felling well so I will try to post another episode next week. Thank you all for your support.


lrhall41

Submitted by Frogpatch on Thu, 09/25/2008 - 10:56

( Posts: 5381 | Credits: )