overwhelming debt is turning me into an alcoholic?

I'm not sure where to turn! Something brought me to this site, so please respond if you have any guidance for me at all. Thank you in advance!!!

I forgot to mention that I am working in excess of 70+ hours per week and have a 10 year old whom I am the custodial parent. I have given and given and if it weren't for my little girl, would probably give up on life all together.

Well, first of all, welcome to the site! Secondly, PLEASE don't rely on alcohol to help you forget your problems. Since I come from a family where several members are or have been alcoholics, I can tell you that it really won't help, and in fact, it will only make things worse!

I don't know anything about Curadebt, so hopefully someone else will be along to advise you about that.

I can tell you that most credit card companies do offer temporary hardship programs. Usually, they will lower your interest rates and your minimum monthly payments for a temporary period (six to twelve months usually) to give you a chance to get back on your feet. Some of them won't offer them to you until you are behind on your payments though.

Is the loan from your boss a personal loan or a company loan? If it's a company loan, is it possible to just have a regular amount deducted from each paycheck until it's paid back?

Thank you SO much for responding!!! Unfortunately, it's a personal loan from my boss. I told him I would pay him $100. a month, but am really having trouble coming up with that at this point. I've never checked into the hardship programs you are talking about. I called one of my credit card companies and they pretty much said, "sorry 'bout your problem, but we can't do anything for you". It took all I had to make that call, then was so discouraged afterwards.

I apparently was typing while you posted your post right above mine.

Since you have a little girl, it's even more important to stay away from the alcohol, and also to try to have a positive attitude. I know that things seem overwhelming right now, but many people who come to this site are able to get a handle on their debt problems and start to see light again at the end of the tunnel. So hang in there!

I know that you said you don't want to file BK, but have you seriously looked at the pros and cons of it? When I came to this site, I didn't want to do it either, but I ended up deciding that it was the best option in our case, and the relief has been IMMENSE since finally "biting the bullet" and doing it. I'm not saying that it's right in your case, but it might be something to at least consider. Most BK attorneys will do a free initial consultation.

Yes, I know that it's tough dealing with collectors. Some of them are easier than others though. I've seen many people post here that if you don't get someone who is cooperative on your first try, then you should hang up and try again eight hours later, and you'll probably get someone else who may be more understanding. And as I said, some of them won't offer anything to you unless you are behind on your bills.

You don't know what responding to my post has meant to me. I just feel so alone! Not that I don't have anyone, but I have never told anyone about what I'm going through. Anyhow, I have seriously considered consulting a bankruptcy attorney. At 39 years old, I just never imagined starting over again, but life has thrown me some SERIOUS curves. And, I know what you are saying about the alcohol, as I come from a long line of alcoholics, which makes me more nervous. The alcohol is, "new" to me, and honestly I like the way it makes me forget my troubles, BUT I have a lot more to consider than how I feel (10 year old daughter). Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

You're very welcome! We are all here to help each other. And I know what you mean. My husband's parents know that we filed BK, but I haven't told my family anything.

Usually things are a bit slow around here on the weekends, but if you hang in there, I'm sure you'll get some more advice once the weekend is over.

I'm not sure about paying your boss back with your credit card. I think I've read that some companies won't take you into their program if you've had a cash advance recently (I'm thinking 90 days, but I could be wrong). Maybe someone else can advise you about that.

I'll definately hang in there!! I'm usually a pretty strong person, just recently weakened. Thanks again!!!

And try to remember that even though the alcohol may help you feel better temporarily, in the long run it will only make things worse. Since you've seen it in your own family too, I'm sure that you know that.

Also, a word of caution . . . If you do end up deciding to file BK, you will have to list all of your debts, including your boss. Anything that you've paid recently (again, I'm thinking 90 days, but I'm not sure) to one creditor over another might be considered a preferential payment by the trustee and could then have to be returned to the court to be divided amongst all of your creditors. However, once your BK is discharged, you can pay back anyone you want to; you just are no longer legally obligated to do so.

Thats correct alias. You can choose to reaffirm any debt you choose after the filing. Or, you can voluntarily pay a creditor after you receive a discharge, without becoming legally liable to continue paying.

Thus listing a creditor does not prevent you from paying creditors you wish to pay after bankruptcy.

Also, omitting a credit card company from your schedules, because you want to retain the use of the card, does not assure continued access to the card: most major credit card issuers use a national data base to determine who has filed bankruptcy, independently of the court's notice to them of bankruptcy filings. They routinely cancel cards of everyone who has filed bankruptcy, whether or not a balance is owed.

So depending on what state you live in your boss might fire you for not paying him back so if you include it doesn't mean you can`t choose to pay him or her still.

Hello mcmiller,

First I must commend you for sharing your story with us , this is the sign of a very strong person and I wish you the best and your baby the best. Have you tried getting counseling first for the alcohol situation you are going through first? Maybe trying to speak to more people willhelp, we are here to support you.

I believe that tackling your debt and your personal crisis at this time may be too much for you at this time. debt settlement is tough and it may place extra stress on you. I know you will be paying curadebt at least five% in retainer fee and 20% in commissions, do you think you can really afford this?

Curadebt has an impeccable BBB rating, but somewhere in this very blog the question of them having had a relationship with a man named James Lombardo scares me. Just ask anyone else here who James Lombardo is. Also, curadebt claims to be located in San Diego, CA. That is true, they are registered in CA to do business but their call center has been rumored to be in South America, meaning they are using a less expensive workforce and making higher earnings.

I don????t know if I were you I????d give my business to people outside of our country when we are going through a recession and we need to employ people at home, that is your call.

Good luck and god bless.

I kinda agree with Jedi on this one which is not very often.:) Its their business if they want to employ people over sees to cut costs. It doesn't necessarily discredit them BUT I prefer to work with companies that keep the jobs over here in the states.

Thanks mobile. You know how I feel about the overseas call centers. I????d rather keep the money at home, the other thing that worries me is their ties with James Lombardo!

EWWW!!! I'm all for 100% USA. I had no idea!!! I sincerely appreciate all of your comments and will do more researching, and hopefully, will get more feedback prior to deciding what I should do. Thank you all!!!

Also, I am not sure if I'm at the point where I'm ready/or need to get treatment for alcoholism. I just know I like how it effects me, but it's not been a "long term" sickness. The thing that worries me the most is my family history and how I really feel like I could lean on it too much.

I definitely believe that certain propensities toward alcoholism run in families. Since it hasn't been a long term problem, and you are aware of the dangers, hopefully, you can be strong enough to stay away from it. However, if you don't feel that you are strong enough, then I agree with Jedi that professional help would be in order.

Hi there!

First let me say- YOU ARE NOT ALONE! However, I can totally relate to how isolated, scared and hopeless you feel. If you have no one to vent to about this- it is toxic to carry around these feelings! You have found a great place to come and get advice! I suspect that might help curb the desire for alcohol (another feeling you and I have in common). Instead of having a drink, come on here. There is so much information, that you will walk away feeling productive which is positive as opposed to "numbing the pain" (again- not a judgment as I have been there too)

I am embarrassed to admit that I have been in debt twice in my life. I filed bankruptcy once and I have gone the debt settlement route. The bankruptcy was a complete fresh start. I was terrified I would never be able to get a mortgage, car loan or even a job after doing it. I was completely wrong on all accounts. It afforded me the chance to catch my breath and rebuild. Unfortunately, after several years and 4 children later, my company shut down. As the primary wage earner in our family the loss of income was devastating. I vowed never to file BK again- and worked on saving chunks of money to apply toward debt settlement. Because I had access to some additional monies I could do the debt settlement.

There ARE ways of this mess, and I am here to tell you that creditors WILL work with you- whatever you decide. If you would like to talk more- please PM me. As another Mom, I feel like I can relate with you???????.and I can offer you advice based on my experiences. There is SO much hope for you in your situation, you just need to get on the right path. Finding this website has definitely put you in the right direction!!

Welcome to the Community :D You aren't alone and there are alot of others who can give you direction.

Working that many hours and having a child, is a stress in and of itself, let alone debt!

Just be sure that if you decide to go with a company that you check them out throughly, not only with the BBB, but sometimes your states attorney generals office can help you.

As far as the drinking, I am an Alcohol and Substance Abuse couselor. Since you are pre-disposed to alcoholism, because of family memebrs, you are right to be concerned. This does not mean that you will necessarily become an alcoholic, but that your chances are higher. If you feel it's getting out of control, there are always AA meetings, which are free.

When you start getting some of your financial problems straightened out, you may have a better clue. If you drinking becomes more,it starts interfering with your life, etc., then you may want to look at this. In the meantime, there are people to support you!

I had to keep calling one of my credit card companies to get someone finally to agree to put me on the hardship program, but I was behind too, so that does make a difference.

Feel free to post, ask questions, etc..karen :D

I honestly appreciate all of the support I have already gotten from the people on here. Yes, the hours are stressful, but luckily I am able to do a lot of my work from home. My main priority is my daughter and I will do what it takes to make our lives better, including making the decision to not drink as much as I have been. As far as the credit card debt, would it be to my advantage to actually stop paying the payments prior to negotiating with someone? I am having a tough time coming up with the payments, and was recently late on one and they raised my interest rate. It's just all caught up with me now. Thanks again!!!

As of 2005 a new bankruptcy reform was enacted, which makes filing for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy much harder for the majority of debtors. Which in turn severely limited the number of options available to debtors to get debt relief. The industry which has seen the biggest spike in business due to the bankruptcy reform is the debt settlement industry.

Debt settlement is a form of debt reduction in which a debtor can look to save a substantial amount on what their debt balances are by reducing the balance itself. Needless to say it is a much more attractive method of debt relief than filing for bankruptcy be it Chapter 7 or 13. So after the change in law was complete a lot more debt settlement companies have been popping up than there were previously. Just as with most industries there are companies that can do a very good job and some that cannot. Usually the ones that cannot are more in it for themselves, than to really help out people in debt. In this article I would like to briefly go over some of the points to consider if you are looking to hire a debt settlement company to help you with your debt situation.

Right off the bat one of the first things to look for is to make sure the company is registered with the BBB and has a decent rating. By signing up with the BBB the company is putting themselves out there. Meaning the potential negative consequences they could have if they accrue to many complaints against the BBB, which looks pretty negative for potential clients to see.

Another very big thing to consider is how the company charges their fees. The vast majority of companies will charge their entire fee up front before the first settlement is ever made. This is much more beneficial to the company rather than the client. While it is understandable that the company should charge a portion of their fee up front before settling because there are expenses for a company to operate effectively, they should never charge the entire fee up front. A client friendly company will charge a portion of their fee up front and then the remaining portion of their fee should be collected after they settle. And the fee should operate in part by contingency, meaning by how well they perform. A contingent fee is a fee which is based upon a percentage of the money that is saved. So the better a company can get for a settlement the more money a client will save and the more money the company will earn, resulting in a win-win situation. This type of fee structure ensures the company will look to get the best possible settlement for a client.

One often overlooked aspect of settlement is the relationship the client will have with their client services. Nobody likes to call a company to get an answer to a question they have only to either have no one pick up the phone, or have to deal with a new person every time they call and have to explain their situation over and over again. In settlement the client should have the contact information to get in touch with the specific negotiator handling their case, someone who knows them and their situation. This is critical for the clients overall peace of mind throughout the settlement process.

Here's a little tip to figure out whether a company is very client friendly or not. The unfriendly companies will have within their contracts a cancellation charge. Many companies put in writing that after you enroll you will only have 2-3 days to cancel. And that if you cancel after that they will charge you X amount of dollars depending on the company. If you see this in a contract run away, this company is in it only to make money and not help people out.

One more thing that is again often overlooked is whether or not a client can miss a payment. Some companies will not allow this and will kick a client off of the program. Most people who are enrolling into settlement have at some point experienced financial hardship and it is possible it may happen again. Which sometimes can result in a client needing the money they set aside for settlement, for something else. While this is not a recommended habit to get into if you are trying to get out of debt, sometimes it must happen. A company should be understanding if a month or two goes by and you cannot make a payment, after all the reason you hired the company in the first place is to help you through this financial hardship not make it harder upon you, the client.

My goal with this article is to help individuals looking for debt settlement make a more educated decision on the company in which they hire. I hope the points illustrated above will help people find the right choice and become debt free. I will monitor the progress of this article and if anyone has any questions feel free to post it in the comment section of EzineArticles, which is where this article will be hosted. Thank You.

You are saying that this debt has brought you weak, yet you posted a very personal story on a public forum wich is great strength. Being weak would be to continue to drink and berry your head in the sand that it dont exsist when in fact it does and is only gonna get worse.

I myself had my own issues with alchohol, not because of my debt this was before that, i had a pretty dramatic thing happen in my life and i avoided dealing with it for 6-8 months and started spending all my time at bars and with drunks because they were fun and everything else in life stank. It almost costed me my marriage me not dealing with my issues. Temporarily it makes you feel like the problem is not there, but later its still just there lingering waiting for your to deal with it getting worse everyday. Nip it in the butt today. pour it down the drain and take control.

Look at it this way, your in debt and cant afford the booze. That could be abill you pay. I am so glad you shared your story with us. Remember there may be someone reading this post that wasnt as strong as you to speak out. You are a inspiration and the fact that you are realizing you may have a problem is excellent. If you dont do it for yourself do it for your daughter.

McMiller, it may be that the Irish in you is kicking in. Alcohol will make your financial problems more complicated.

Seek help from a church or other religious group. Most important, do not let money or the lack thereof keep you down.

This too shall pass.