How quick to sue?

There is no real timetable for suing....they will look at your credit and debts owing. However often the higher $$ will sue you quicker.

Instead of debt settlement program, have you thought or researched doing settlements on your own? You could save yourself thousands of $$

Yes I have researched everything that I could find. I am interested in two companies and both only take a small up front retainer and then charge a percentage of the savings on the backend. One is a law firm so their percentage is a little higher but having a lawyer on my side just makes me feel better (even though I know there really is no difference). The other one is not a law firm and offers coaching along the way. If you need them to settle for you then they take their fee; otherwise, it is only a $50 a month fee.

I have talked to 4 other companies and they all want their fees upfront (out of your initial payments) so I am definitely not going with any of them.

My biggest fear is getting sued. I do not qualify for Chapter 7 and 13 would ruin me. If this backfires, I could be in a lot of trouble.

Why would chapter 13 ruin you? In a lot of ways, particually with your high balances which run the chance of being sued on, chapter 13 may be the safer alternative. Your credit score is going to tank major time anyways with any settlement program.

If debt settlement fails then I will have to do Chapter 13. I would still like to try and settle the accounts if possible. I have consulted two local bankruptcy attorneys and I was quoted two different Chapter 13 payoff amounts. One was completely impossible, the other was doable but would be a 5 year struggle.

I do have some money I can borrow from relatives to offer lump sums fairly quickly and get out of this debt.

I have accounts with all of the companies listed above, and only Citibank has sued - with a balance of about $6K. The account went to the law firm about 9 months after date of first delinquency.