Is defaulting on 2nd Mortgage worse than default of Original?

I answered this in your previous post. In some ways defaulting on your second mortgage is better than defaulting on your first because it's harder for the second mortgage lender to foreclose and get their money. It's all about who the law says has to be paid first (called priorities).

Your original reply was lost I appreciate your patience. How should we communicate to the lender (if at all) our decision to quit paying? Can we expect to be bombed with phone calls?

"Foreclosure is tricky with second mortgages because it's second in line after the first mortgage. If the second mortgage lender forecloses they're going to have problems getting possession because of the first mortgage. If the second mortgage joins the first to the foreclosure (and every lender I've seen joins everyone they think has an interest even if they're dead. Seriously. I have seen dead people being foreclosed on) then the second lender would have to wait for their money until the first lender and the back taxes have been paid and may not get anything. The best thing I can suggest is to try and work out new repayment plans with both your lenders or consolidate your mortgages." That's what I wrote before.

It's never a good idea to stop paying especially on a mortgage. Even though it's harder for a second mortgage holder to foreclose, they can still do it. In my experience with helping people trying to defend themselves in foreclosure, the best thing you can do is to work hard to prevent foreclosure. The best way to do that is to call your lender and try and negotiate with them. I have known people who have successfully negotiated a work out before they were late on payments. Your local court house may have a foreclosure help desk where you can get some resources for help, like a list of HUD approved credit counselors to help you with your work out for free. Keep in mind when you're negotiating that these lenders have a huge number of foreclosed homes on their inventory already and don't want more, so you have an advantage there.

If you do default you can expect calls and after three months or so depending on your state foreclosure laws, a summons for foreclosure. Your local court resources should be able to help you there too, or you can try www.lawguru.com for some free foreclosure advice. I always think it's better to educate yourself about what might happen so it doesn't seem so bad if it does.
I hope this huge mass of advice helps!

It sure does! I will take the time and marinate a bit, then get started. I thank you so much for taking the time to reply.
(twice)
If I need a sounding board in the future, I will look to you!

Thanks.