Okay I will try to explain as briefly as I can the problem here. In 2008 I discovered our daughter in law was according to her, $10,000 in credit card debt. It turned out to be $16,000 instead though. I have daycared their little boy, for free, since he was born in 2005. And my husband and I have consistently and constantly had to help them with groceriy money, repairs on the house, repairs on both their cars etc. So I came unglued when I found out about the credit card debt. I insisted she try for a re-finance of their home but instead she took out a second mortgage, which added to their monthly bills by $199. She paid the credit cards down to very small balances, i.e. $31, $34 etc. This was in 6/08. Which meant in 7/08 she could have paid them off, cut uo the cards- as she promised and swore she would do. I just found out she did not do this but instead in 7/08 she started running every one of the cards up rapidly, until her balance once again is $14,000 and in addition to the $199 she added with the second mortgage, she is still paying $407 a month in credit card payments. One card charges 39% interest and she does charge even groceries !! I have confronted her with this and told her she has a spending problem, she needs counseling. In addition to telling her that, I have told her she MUST either file bankrupsy (the cards are all in her name only) or get a refinance on their house. They are in over their heads with monthly payments. Our son's check is deposited directly into her checking account. He works 32 miles from home so has a drive each day. He does not have money for gas or for lunch so I have been for 5 years now, been giving him the money. I am totally wiped out with this - he understands my frustration as he is frustrated with it as well. My question is this - how should we handle this. I have said no more hand outs - if something breaks, figure it out. She has dug herself so deep all by herself and I feel violated that we have given and given, sometimes meaning we had to do without something we were wanting or needing, just to help them out. Am I being too harse here or what suggestions does anyone have? This woman (she is 40) does not seem to grasp the concept of the debt she has created, not once, but twice, and we truly feel if we are not drastic with her, it will happen over and over. I wold never want to do anything to hurt our son or grandson, but I feel this situation has to be addressed asap and that the days of us handing her money are over. We just spent over $200 to replace the fan on their forced air furnace and three days later, paid to have the alternator in our son's car replaced. It is never ending and she will tell my son "we don't have the money" and start a bawling and squalling scene and then one or both ask for our help. Advice please. Thanks.
