I think I have ruined my life

I wouldn't underestimate your hubby. I know mine was upset when I told him what had been going on, since I also hid some of the details from him. He was more understanding than I thought he would be.

The credit repair company will try to settle with your creditors, so you have to default, get the acct charged off and then the company will negotiate with a collection agency for a percentage of the original balance.
If you were doing a 2 yr or 3 yr program, $300 a month on $20,000 plus about 10% or so for the company- sounds about right for 50% of the original balance. But I'm sure it doesn't help your situation right now at all.

Taking out a loan to pay off the credit cards may not be the best idea unless you cut up the cards and make every effort you can to not charge them up again.

Have you also contacted the counseling service through this site, to see if they could possibly work out a lower payment for you without you having to default on your creditors? And have you tried negotiating with the creditors on your own? I ask this knowing that they are unlikely to do anything since your payments are current (been there), but again doesn't hurt to ask.

I know it seems really dismal right now, but you're doing what you can to change the situation. Hopefully you can find a program that will help you improve your financial situation.

Have you signed up for the credit counseling on this site? So far, most people have been working with T&C. If you read around some of the posts, you will find their info. I think they will be very helpful.

credit consolidation does look bad on your credit, but so does $20,000 worth of debt that is adding up with interest fees and not being paid. The good thing is once the accounts are paid, your credit will improve. So, you have to decide if you think you can pay this all off on your own...which could take like 50yrs, or if you need to knock some interest/fees off and pay much less.

No matter what you decide, you are not alone. Right now I have over $35,000 worth of debt due to school, etc. I have been called and harrassed by collection agencies for almost a year now. They have called me names, told me I am lazy, I have been told that I need to quit school because school is a luxury I do not deserve, etc. But, guess what..I graduated April 18th, start my new job next week and will be making tons of money now. I have signed up for a debt settlement program, and so far everything looks good. So, just know you are not alone. Good luck in whatever you decide.

I don't think he'd hate you and leave you! You were put in a situation and you didn't know what else to do. You do have to tell him though, that is the first step in getting back on the right track. Also, take all these account to T&C, they are the best consolidation company, and they won't lie to you and screw you over. You're acting like it's all over for you, it's not!

Hi dstowell1

Don't take a loan further for paying off the debts. You will have to pledge something as security against the loan. Needless to say, if you default, you might be at the risk of losing the property and things will go beyond control.

Do you have any source of income at present? If you have, try for any second job also. Live on a restricted budget for some time till you have not fixed this problem completely. If I were in your place, I would have preferred explaining my fault to my husband for doing something wrong behind him. Think about your relation in future terms and have his confidence. I am sure you will benefit in every way. You can try using a consolidation or a debt settlement program

dstowell1--did you get my pm?
It is still in my sentbox for some reason & I sent a couple hours ago.

dstowell1,
relax. You did not ruin your life. I understand how you feel about your husband..I too mislead my husband about the debt problems I caused with payday loans. You have to tell him..He will be angry with you, and you will more than likely have a rip-roaring fight, but I don't think he will leave you..I think once he gets past his initial anger he'll be supportive. Listen, we all make mistakes, I know I've made some doozys. There are a lot of different options, but I don't think taking a loan to pay your debt is very reasonable. Remember, all credit counseling places are not created equal, shop around. And remember, like Dana said, you are not alone. Spend some time on this board and you'll get a lot of advice and perspective. Good luck.

I think your husband would be more appreciative of you coming forward with the situation. I've made my share of embarassing blunders, like the time I accidentally overdrew my old checking account, and used funds from our joint account to even it out. I called him immediately and told him what I'd done, i promised to make it up to him. He wasn't even angry, and he appreciated my straightforwardness. Marriage is for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer and all that jazz. The longer you hide this, the more it will torment you.

Once you get into a plan--either do-it-yourself or professional consolodation things will fall into place very quickly! You're going to feel so much better...And of course, we're here to vent to every step of the way! :)

There's no way I'm going to tell him until I've finished paying these off! He divorced his first wife because she maxed out CC's, and he had a child with her. I think every situation is different, and I know in my heart that I cannot tell him, although I used our cards to pay bills, buy food, gas to attend school (I'm in Law school, was previously driving to and from Buffalo- 5 hrs. total drive time, dropped out to attend Syracuse next semester). I budget our money strictly, and just didn't have any other options at the time. Stupidity. I did talk to someone from Superior, all I have to do is sign and fax the paperwork back to them and I'll be set. What do you all think of Superior-anything I should be aware of before I sign? They told me they would cut my debt from 22,000. to 11,000 and it will be paid off in 2 years. The only thing that REALLY bothers me is the fact that I have to not pay my CC's for four months..and then they kick in. This truly makes me very nervous, as I am not and never have been behind in my payments. I recently lost part of my income and am anticipating a struggle in paying them. Anyway, thanks for the ears and help everyone.

Oh yeah- I wanted to check out T&C but haven't been able to get a phone number or site to go to-Help! You guys really have helped to ease this stress I have. When I do become a lawyer, I'll owe you all some free legal advice. (that's funny, isn't it- who'd want advice from someone who can't manage finances)

dstowell1

For you, I picked this thread so that you feel a bit relaxed about Superior

http://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/forums/about9660.html

I think Mishele will like to add something if she does not mind :)

You will have your contract in writing with Superior Debt. So, there is nothing to worry about.

It's a good thing you've got a plan now and some assistance from a consolidation company. Did you ever stop to think that the reason why your husband divorced his first wife for abusing his credit cards was because she did it recklessing and inconsiderately? Isn't it in any way possible that the two situations are not as similar as meets the eye?

I know jedi Mistress, I just am so ashamed of neglecting his trust in me, and I'm not willing to reveal yet. I will, when I'm ready. This has been an extremely stressful situation for me, lots of things happening in my life that have added to my 'despair'. I know my stress level is way too high to deal with my husbands reaction to what I have done at this time.

Oh D! You weren't neglectful, you were faced with a desperate time and it called for a desperate measure. And, you're doing something about it! You will win this uphill battle and then you can find comfort once again in life. I wish you all the best of luck in this. you'll do fine, and you'll be strong. By the way, I wasn't going to horn in on you and probe for details. I don't try to sell myself as a psychologist.

thank you so much for the support. :0)

you're very welcome. Give me a pm if you want to talk and I'll give you my #

I know this...I really appreciate the advice, it has helped to put things in perspective. Things are okay so far. I join the program next month, and plan to have all my debt paid off asap!

You will do wonderfully, and you do have a good head on your shoulders, meaning that your husband has nothing to worry about and neither do you!

I really think admitting you need help - whether it is from various members of this forum, from counselors, or consolidation companies - is the hardest step! I keep going back and forth from getting consolidation help to doing it on my own. Right now I've applied for a new job that pays a significant amount more than I make now - so I'm holding out and paying the minimums on the cards in hopes that the extra income will pay these things off. However, if I don't get that job, I'm going to have to consolidate. The minimums get me NO WHERE. Your story will someday be one of those success stories we read on here that inspire everyone to keep hanging on and trudging through this debt battle. Make sure and keep us updated on how things go.

Ehwin, you and I are in the same boat on the prowl for new work. You do have a point that minimums don't do much, they just shut the creditors up for 30 days, but it really is like tossing money into a black hole. I hope you do get that job. As for me, I'm looking for a job that will allow for me to keep my sanity. Check out "West Corporation?" in the Creditor and Collection Agency Database, and you'll see that I'm slowly losing my marbles where I am!

I don't know how you do what you do and stay sane at all! You are a much more tollerant person than I am!!!

Well, I'm just barely hanging on there! I watch the clock constantly. Yesterday I went home early because I was feeling short of breath and barely able to hold the scripted conversation. This morning, I woke up to a full blown anxiety attack and called in sick.

Oh Ari,please take care of yourself. There is no job theat is worth ruining you health over. My job was such a high burnout job and stress filled job,I was sick or dreading work all the time.Only after I changed some things did I feel like I could take a deep breath.Take care and hopefully you'll find the perfect job for you :D ...Karen

Thank you Karen, I am in fact, back on the prowl for a more satisfying prospect. I am also more dedicated than ever towards my magazine and making it happen.