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When will the madness end??

Date: Thu, 07/13/2006 - 23:23

Submitted by clarissachargualaf
on Thu, 07/13/2006 - 23:23

Posts: 15 Credits: [Donate]

Total Replies: 34


My name is Clarissa Chargualaf I am from the island of Guam. I moved out to the United States in hope of a better life. I have never heard of a payday loans till I came out here about 3 years ago. I fell into the payday loan nightmare.

I am 32 years old and I feel so horrible. I even got my boyfriend into getting pay day loans and I feel so awful. Both of our names are terrible in credit. I even made his credit card go delinquent.

I sometimes feel like I am such a terrible person with no sense of morals. A few years ago when my boyfriend was going to school he was receiving income from the state which was very nice and it helped out alot.

One day the money just stopped coming and he didn't receive no notice no nothing. Because of that little incident we have been in debt and can't seem to get out of it. I can't even afford to file for bankruptcy.

My boyfriend has stood by me even despite all this drama that has happened with the past 4 years we have been together. We want to get married but can't even afford a ring nor the reception.

We were both just received papers to be taken to court for our payday loans and credit card.

When will this maddness end? I want a better life but I can't get out of this web of destruction!!


How long ago did these debts take place? Chances of expiry of the statutes are possible if no payment has been done within the recent times. I am not diverting you from paying them but you can consider this factor before paying off the accounts.

If things can work out good, you can call your lenders individually and work out payment arrangements. You need to take chances for getting the immediate help or else look into some professional help. Did you talk with a counselor after registering in this website?


lrhall41

Submitted by ArDeN on Fri, 07/14/2006 - 19:02

( Posts: 496 | Credits: )


Thank you Polly---
Clarissa---I would have, well, I would have thought a LOT of things, but I probably would have cried too.
Have you thought about going to a swap meet where they sell jewelry? Or maybe you could get one made of silver (instead of the traditional gold), cause silver is less expensive. Don't worry about what other people say---they are not you and don't live your life.


lrhall41

Submitted by Lorri on Sat, 07/15/2006 - 22:10

( Posts: 1721 | Credits: )


Ask that sales lady if she wears baby hats for her tiny little head with a tiny little brain. GAHHH I hate rude sales people..They make it difficult on us NICE sales people...I just get rude AFTER work. :)

You've come to the right place, and things will start to come around very quickly. You'll soon have things together.

As far as for jewelry, if you feel you need it--A guy I used to work with and his wife bought their rings on e-bay...They're not actual "Wedding rings" but very pretty bands with matching designs on them..They were handmade. I had a bracelet (gave it to my friend for her birthday) that I bought on ebay from a guy who had bought it for his girlfriend, then she took off and left him before he could give it to her...He paid $600 for it, I bought it for $89.00. Just an idea. :)


lrhall41

Submitted by Jessi on Sun, 07/16/2006 - 04:59

( Posts: 3361 | Credits: )


I think that 2 months salary rule for a man buying an engagement ring is ridiculous!

Personally I have moral issues, for myself, purchasing or wearing diamonds. People in those diamond mines in Africa are enslaved. I find it beyond frustrating how the musicians and athletes perpetuate the 'bling bling' lifestyle, while our fellow human beings are living and working in deplorable conditions so that our mega celebrities can be sparkley and shiney.

I love handcrafted and unique jewelry. Personally I would rather have something unique over a marquis cut diamond that is sold at Zale's in a setting that 1000 other women in America have. But, that is just me :)

I also fail to understand why so many people take out loans and go into debt to get pay for a wedding. Now, I have never been married, but from what I hear that first year is rough! I would think a big debt wouldn't help the situation! lol It seems like that kind of cash would be better served as a down payment on a home.

I suppose I am coming across as a judgemental 'b' here lol But where is it written that anyone needs to go in debt to feed everyone they know a $20-30.00 a plate meal? Where is it written that anyone needs to put out a buttload of money to get everyone they know drunk? What is wrong with an evening candle light ceremony (after dinner), and a dessert reception with cake, ice cream, punch and coffee? To me a nice splurge would be give everyone a glass of champagne for the toast.

Folks who can afford the big shibang for a wedding...have a ball! My cousin and her ex-husband took out a 4k loan for their wedding. He had 1 child going into the marriage, as did she, and she was pregnant with his child. They were living in a small trailer at the time. I felt bad eating the food or drinking the cocktails, because I knew they could not afford any of it.

I'll get off my slippery soap box because I have my own issues with debt!lol I can honestly say that my payday loan debt was an effort to survive...groceries, prescriptions, bills, bills, bills. But in retrospect, I certainly wish I had sought out a different way...cutting something else out of my life. We all live and learn, don't we? I think the beauty of being 32 and unmarried, is that I have learned from the mistakes of those I know who have tied the knot before me! Although I am sure I will create a new mistake to make for those folks I know to learn from who walk to the altar after me! :)


lrhall41

Submitted by polly on Sun, 07/16/2006 - 09:35

( Posts: 1709 | Credits: )


I personally hate diamonds!! I told my fiancee/boyfriend let's just skip the engagement ring and go straight for the wedding bands.

My family and his are upset because we don't want to have a big wedding. I actually just wanted to elope because it will just be cheaper on us.

Does this make me a bad person for wanting to elope?


lrhall41

Submitted by clarissachargualaf on Sun, 07/16/2006 - 11:13

( Posts: 15 | Credits: )


You're right..When I got married, my parents gave me a budget and told me I could plan it on that. I am not joking when I say I had a gorgeous dres with a cathedral length train, a full Catholic mass, 300 guests with a nice buffet dinner, gorgeous flowers, and a terrific banquet hall for dancing until 2am for $5000. A smaller wedding can be done for only a few hundred dollars..I planned for months...I had a lot of people do things for me...The photographer was a friend, I bought my dress at Goodwill( it's incredible)and a family member makes cakes for a living, so we got a 3-tier cake for free! I also borrowed the altar flowers, and we had a cash bar.
You can do a lot for a little. BTW, I do have a nice engagement ring, but It's an emerald set with diamonds in white gold. I get a lot of compliments..And it was a lot cheaper than a big diamond.


lrhall41

Submitted by finsfan13 on Sun, 07/16/2006 - 11:15

( Posts: 6919 | Credits: )


Clarissa you are not a bad person for wanting to elope!!!! I would do it to, if my mother wouldn't kill me for it lol!

Fins...I love emeralds. They are beautiful.

Your parents were so generous to give you a budget like that. I am the only daughter, and I bet my budget dress included will be under 1k lol! My parents I swear are the same as all those folks over your way! You know what I am talking about without me saying it. :)


lrhall41

Submitted by polly on Sun, 07/16/2006 - 12:41

( Posts: 1709 | Credits: )


Clarissa, I would say elope. I eloped 24.5 years ago. I am still happily married. Weddings are what you make them. All I wanted was to get married. We used the money for down-payment on house. Good Luck KYSIDE38


lrhall41

Submitted by KYSIDE38 on Mon, 07/17/2006 - 18:37

( Posts: 2477 | Credits: )


Ah Polly..Remember I am a native Floridian..Only been here 10 years! I fought long and hard to lose my accent (yes, natives have them) when I first moved here in 1995 I transferred to GVSU..I went into my new advisor's office to talk about class options, and she asked me if I had a speech impediment!
But..People like My Mom (and yours) simply cannot be rednecks...It wouldn't be appropriate.


lrhall41

Submitted by finsfan13 on Wed, 07/19/2006 - 11:53

( Posts: 6919 | Credits: )


LMAO!!! I have some really backwoods relatives...I have a great-aunt Mary who's 90 years old. My other great-aunt died 2 years ago, and Aunt Mary snuck a bottle of Kessler's into the funeral home. She put the bottle in the toilet tank in the ladies room, and kept sneaking to the bathroom to have a drink. She must've gone to the bathroom a heckuva lot during the first visitation, because she passed out before it ended..She couldn't make it back for the second visitation, and she "didn't feel well" for the funeral the next day.

Now...That's freakin' class.


lrhall41

Submitted by finsfan13 on Fri, 07/21/2006 - 20:44

( Posts: 6919 | Credits: )


OMG---that sounds like something my aunt would have done!

When my brother got married he had a reception at the MGM Grand in Vegas----there was a beautiful buffet. My aunt took a ziploc bag along the buffet line and took some for her plate, a little in her bag, some for her plate, a little more for her bag. I was SO embarrassed! ---Yes, indeedy class personified. BTW---she was raised in FLORIDA!!!


lrhall41

Submitted by Lorri on Fri, 07/21/2006 - 20:57

( Posts: 1721 | Credits: )


LOL! That's hysterical!

There are a lot of buffets in Florida..My first job was at Stacey's buffet in Port Richey. At 4pm every weekday the price would go up $1.00..Because they would begin serving carved roast beef, ham and turkey. At 3:55 pm every day you'd see a million little old men and ladies running to the cash register..So they could be on time to eat dinner for lunch prices.


lrhall41

Submitted by finsfan13 on Fri, 07/21/2006 - 21:24

( Posts: 6919 | Credits: )