all debt is secured

My problem is that debt consolidation won't work for me. 90% of my debt is secured or not consolidateable. We have a mortgage payment, 3 car payments, school loan, a second mortgage, paying a relatives equity loan, car insurance, life insurance, utilities, etc. What we bring in never seems to be enough and I work a second job part time. Our income is good, but our outgo is a nightmare....and all the debt is long term! I try and try to budget, but there always seems to be some expense that we can't meet...car repairs, plumbing jobs, emergency room bills, college expenses,etc. How can I possibly get a hold on my budget? I budget at the grocery store, we rarely eat out, I do most of my household shopping at Walmart and wait for sales. What else can we do? I even got rid of my cellphone service and opted for a prepaid card to get rid of a bill and get control of my minutes. I am so tired of feeling like a second class citizen because we are always slow to pay bills. Where are we going wrong? Any helpful budgeting advice would be greatly appreciated!