I am hoping that I will have a better future

Well I cannot believe that I am sittign here today and writing my sad, pitiful story! When did this all start, how did I end up like this?

I was a pretty good student graduating college with a dual major at 19. That was something that I was so proud of! My mother and father had raised me with the knowledge that credit cards were not needed! That it was more important to save money and pay for cash. I was absolutely positive that I would not misuse credit, but then the peer pressure from a boyfriend of four years was what happened.

He had some credit cards of his own with high interest rates and he read somewhere that if he opened new accounts that he woudl be able to have lower interest rates and be able to payoff his debt earlier. The problem was that he did not have the income and the creditors believed that he had too much credit already opened; he managed to talk me into opening accounts and putting him on them! What was I thinking? I was you ng and in love! Well after a few years of paying on the debt I smartened up and decided to leave him and join the military!

The military was something that I needed to do! I signed up right after September 11. After that day I turned 22 and was very thankful that I did not intern at the World Trade Center like several of my fellow classmates did! I believed that since I was in this horrible realtionship and I was not living the life I thought I would have the military would be the best thing for me!

The military was not for me! I was not making enough money to keep up with my bills from the "lavish" life I was living before I joined. Due to a few commanders understanding where I was coming from I was able to be discharged from the military. Before this I happened to meet a wonderful man who stole my heart and would be the father of our beautiful daughter.

It was during that time of getting out of the military and finding employment that I continued to accrue more and more debt, falling farther and farther behind! The credit cards were not a mere luxury item, but became a life preserver to keep me afloat, little to now I was drowing farther and farther into debt! What was happening - how dare I forget to take off my ex from my accounts! He had taken the largest amount of cash off my cards and there was nothing I could do about it!

When I was finally able to find work it was already too late! There was nothing I could do! My income was diminished everything was going to bills. If it wasn't for my husband I would never had made it - he helped pay my rent and purchased al lof our groceries. I did not have any kind of transportation but my own two feet!

I was strating to get on track, but then my husband had orders to a new place, where I knew that once again I would have to struggle to find employment! This time it was harder than ever before, I was six months pregnant and in this area of the country they really do not take kind to that situation! No one wants a pregnant woman. Needless to say I am still unemployed and able to make a mere payment of $100/ month on my student loans!

I have no intention of being in this situation, yes, I did choose it, but I woudl have done things differently in the past! My daughter will be fully educated on credit and the pros and cons of buying items when she does not have the cash on hands! I am not one to file Bankruptcy, I have every intention to pay off my debts it is just going to take my entire life!

I am truly embarassed by the life I live! I am an unemployed person whose life is full of debt! I am not this type of person! I cannot stop saying this! When I think about my life it brings tears to my eyes! What happened? I was supposed to be this successful businesswoman who was able to provide for my family. Instead I am this poverty stricken woman who has difficulty knowing what pain and dishonor she has brought to the family name. My parents have raised me better than this!

My husband has one credit card and is petrified of getting another. He is worried that his friends and family will learn about my past and how irrespponsible I was.Several creditors have asked for my husband to pay, but why? It is not his debt! More importantly, how can he living on a military salary.

I do not know what I am asking for, but I think I am hoping that I will have a better future. That today after writing all of my feelings and concerns about my embarassing past, that I am now taking the steps to fulfill my obligations. I know that this is going to be a long road, but I need to take the steps to clearing up my debtful past.