Government thinking Joke
Date: Sun, 03/19/2006 - 07:54
>> An Oklahoma cowboy was tending to his herd in a remote pasture
>>when suddenly a brand-newBMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
>>him.
>>
>> The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
>>sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,
>>"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your
>>herd, will you give me a calf?"
>>
>>The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
>>peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
>>
>>The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
>>connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
>>Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to
>>get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another
>>NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
>>photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe
>>Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in
>>Hamburg, Germany
>>
>>Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
>>image has
>>been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
>>database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds
>>of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on
>>his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
>>Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
>>hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the
>>cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."
>>
>>"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says
>>the
>>cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and
>>looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his
>>car. Then the
>>cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
>>your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
>>
>>The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
>>why not?"
>>
>>"You're a consultant for the Government." says the cowboy.
>>
>>"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
>>that?"
>>
>>"No guessing required," answered the cowboy, "You showed up here
>>even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
>>already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know
>>anything about my business.......
>>
>> Now give me back my dog."
>>when suddenly a brand-newBMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
>>him.
>>
>> The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
>>sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,
>>"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your
>>herd, will you give me a calf?"
>>
>>The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
>>peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
>>
>>The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
>>connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
>>Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to
>>get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another
>>NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
>>photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe
>>Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in
>>Hamburg, Germany
>>
>>Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the
>>image has
>>been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
>>database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds
>>of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on
>>his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
>>Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
>>hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the
>>cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."
>>
>>"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says
>>the
>>cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and
>>looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his
>>car. Then the
>>cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
>>your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
>>
>>The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
>>why not?"
>>
>>"You're a consultant for the Government." says the cowboy.
>>
>>"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
>>that?"
>>
>>"No guessing required," answered the cowboy, "You showed up here
>>even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
>>already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know
>>anything about my business.......
>>
>> Now give me back my dog."
