20 years in the works
Date: Tue, 03/21/2006 - 22:57
It seems like so long ago now when I look back but it has been a long time. I turned 39 this March and really things did start about 20 years ago.
I guess I always did have a big heart wanting to make people happy and that started a lot of my trouble. I grew up on a dairy farm and was working and making money from the time I was 13 and had bought and paid for my own car(73 chevelle back in 1983)and of course being a person with a car and cash always made me popular if not for the right reasons. Of course it is only natural to like the attention and being that I was not a "jock" and certainly not one to turn the girls heads I was not one to turn away the attention even if it was letting my self be used in a sense.
Sorry for the long setup but it was the beginning of all to follow.
After high school and one year of college which I could not seem to settle into the college life at the time I was 20 years old and met a women 38 who had bad credit habits herself. In fact I ended up married to her and found out a lot of the things about her after the fact of marriage. One of the things being a year in jail for bad checks and me being her 5th husband. Yes I know I was just as guilty but I think I can put some of it on being young and stupid which in itself is no excuse. Having grown up with parents who had stayed together since marriage and grandparents married for 50+ years I thought any thing was possible.
To shorten this part she helped me into bankruptcy with carelessness of the check book and putting personal wants before bills. Had a trailor bought and paid for that was nice but not big enough or new enough to suite her and ended up to far in getting a new one for the income coming in. In all of this the saddest part was the seperation of no contact with my family because of this relationship but I was under the delusion that I owed more allegiance to her being my wife and I was blind to the manipulation. So during all this time there was bad checks, reposession of a vehicle, loss of a mobile home though I did find someone to take it over so it didnt end up in default.With everything she talked me into filing bankruptcy and the first major devestation of my credit since she had none to start with by the time I had met her. Overhaul as I look back I will not say she was a totally bad person and over the seven years we were married they all was not bad but things could have been much different. The end finally came when I had to bury a step son from an auto accident. We were both very different people at that point and parted ways as friends together in tragedy you might say. The story is no means finished at this point. It seems like over the next number of years I always seemed to allow myself to meet the women who would take the most advantage of my finances. After trying to recover from the divorce and bankruptcy I actually started a good buisness making good cash in Karaoke and DJ work and had several employees in different bars running shows for me but alas I put my money, credit and name on the line a lot more times then I care to imagine. I hate to say it in a way but it was a fun life but I was an easy mark even still trying to see the best in people even when I should have been keeping my distance. I finally decided to leave that life behind knowing it would never be a stable life I tried a few other things with some work down in Texes where I had friends which all came to no end but made me realize that I had family that would help support me in trying to bring it back together. Even in Texas I was to kinded hearted at times and got stuck with several utility bills and such in my names where others didnt put in their share.
I finally came back to KY and got back in a certification classes for medical coding which only took a year and got my foot in the door and now have three years experience and working on my actual Associates degree and plan to continue onto my BA when that is completed. The good thing is anything in the medical field is pretty good on the pay these days and has allowed me to start picking up those past bills and making things right. Met a good women who I love dearly and works just as hard as I do in my work field amd we get along great the best of friends and lovers. I always kept faith there was the right one out there even through all the ones I should have stayed cleared of.
Of course there are other parts that I could fill in but I figured at the moment this story can be added to easy enough.
I can say lucky enough that I never got hooked into any of the payday type stuff to ruin my credit but just a lot of old fashioned bills gone to hell.
I will add more later of the inbetween facts and the long road back up for me but this gives everyone a glimpse of the road I have traveled also.
In the long run maybe I should have been more cynic and distrustful but I honestly think I would have lost something along the way that I would never have regained. I may not be a every Sunday in Church person I still have a faith in something more then us and that everything happens for a reason. I do not think I would be has happy as I am today with out the journey getting to this point.
Tim
I guess I always did have a big heart wanting to make people happy and that started a lot of my trouble. I grew up on a dairy farm and was working and making money from the time I was 13 and had bought and paid for my own car(73 chevelle back in 1983)and of course being a person with a car and cash always made me popular if not for the right reasons. Of course it is only natural to like the attention and being that I was not a "jock" and certainly not one to turn the girls heads I was not one to turn away the attention even if it was letting my self be used in a sense.
Sorry for the long setup but it was the beginning of all to follow.
After high school and one year of college which I could not seem to settle into the college life at the time I was 20 years old and met a women 38 who had bad credit habits herself. In fact I ended up married to her and found out a lot of the things about her after the fact of marriage. One of the things being a year in jail for bad checks and me being her 5th husband. Yes I know I was just as guilty but I think I can put some of it on being young and stupid which in itself is no excuse. Having grown up with parents who had stayed together since marriage and grandparents married for 50+ years I thought any thing was possible.
To shorten this part she helped me into bankruptcy with carelessness of the check book and putting personal wants before bills. Had a trailor bought and paid for that was nice but not big enough or new enough to suite her and ended up to far in getting a new one for the income coming in. In all of this the saddest part was the seperation of no contact with my family because of this relationship but I was under the delusion that I owed more allegiance to her being my wife and I was blind to the manipulation. So during all this time there was bad checks, reposession of a vehicle, loss of a mobile home though I did find someone to take it over so it didnt end up in default.With everything she talked me into filing bankruptcy and the first major devestation of my credit since she had none to start with by the time I had met her. Overhaul as I look back I will not say she was a totally bad person and over the seven years we were married they all was not bad but things could have been much different. The end finally came when I had to bury a step son from an auto accident. We were both very different people at that point and parted ways as friends together in tragedy you might say. The story is no means finished at this point. It seems like over the next number of years I always seemed to allow myself to meet the women who would take the most advantage of my finances. After trying to recover from the divorce and bankruptcy I actually started a good buisness making good cash in Karaoke and DJ work and had several employees in different bars running shows for me but alas I put my money, credit and name on the line a lot more times then I care to imagine. I hate to say it in a way but it was a fun life but I was an easy mark even still trying to see the best in people even when I should have been keeping my distance. I finally decided to leave that life behind knowing it would never be a stable life I tried a few other things with some work down in Texes where I had friends which all came to no end but made me realize that I had family that would help support me in trying to bring it back together. Even in Texas I was to kinded hearted at times and got stuck with several utility bills and such in my names where others didnt put in their share.
I finally came back to KY and got back in a certification classes for medical coding which only took a year and got my foot in the door and now have three years experience and working on my actual Associates degree and plan to continue onto my BA when that is completed. The good thing is anything in the medical field is pretty good on the pay these days and has allowed me to start picking up those past bills and making things right. Met a good women who I love dearly and works just as hard as I do in my work field amd we get along great the best of friends and lovers. I always kept faith there was the right one out there even through all the ones I should have stayed cleared of.
Of course there are other parts that I could fill in but I figured at the moment this story can be added to easy enough.
I can say lucky enough that I never got hooked into any of the payday type stuff to ruin my credit but just a lot of old fashioned bills gone to hell.
I will add more later of the inbetween facts and the long road back up for me but this gives everyone a glimpse of the road I have traveled also.
In the long run maybe I should have been more cynic and distrustful but I honestly think I would have lost something along the way that I would never have regained. I may not be a every Sunday in Church person I still have a faith in something more then us and that everything happens for a reason. I do not think I would be has happy as I am today with out the journey getting to this point.
Tim
Thank you so much for sharing that story with us, Tim. It is ni
Thank you so much for sharing that story with us, Tim. It is nice to come here and know that we are not alone, and that there is a way out of the debt that we have found ourselves in.
~Mary
