Can anyone suggest a safer way to cash check?

I live in Texas and due to a variety of circumstances I have a large credit card debt I am unable to pay, the credit card company refused to work with me in any way, one of their reps actually told me to go find a man to marry me who could pay it, and the minimums just became impossible so, with regret, I defaulted, a credit counselling service was unable to help either as my income was too small and unpredictable. I don't feel good about what I did, it's always on my mind, I am always afraid and stressed, but even if I gave them every penny I have it would not make this go away. I am ill and unable to work outside the home and I am also a caregiver for my elderly father, which is very difficult, but I am I guess what could be called a struggling artist and a few times a year, anywhere from 2 to 4 times, I receive checks from the agency that represents my work for a few thousand dollars, and I do mean just a few, it's by no means a living wage, this coupled with my father's social security is what we live on. I never know how often I will be paid or how much, so it's not a dependable source of income, not predictable like a regular paycheck. Since the checks come from out of state, I cannot just go to a grocery store or Walmart and cash them, and my agency cannot pay me in cash for accounting reasons, and every time I deposit one in the bank I can't sleep I am a jumble of nerves until I can go back to the bank and withdraw it, I am always Terrified one day I will go and it will be gone, frozen, seized. I know they cannot do that without a judgement, but I am afraid it is only a matter of time. We need this money to live on. I do not have any family or friends I can trust to cash checks for me. And doing anything in my father's name is not possible as he has Altzheimer's and before I realized how severe this was he got into a mess with Citibank that basically puts him in the same boat as me except he is judgement proof, does not own our home, and has no income but Social Security and no savings, but we can easily cash his checks at the grocery store. I hope I will someday be able to find a way to work this mess out, to make it go away, I am afraid every moment, feel like a hunted animal, and often cannot sleep worrying about it, even in the night I wake up and it's always there right on my mind, but financially there is nothing I can do at this point. We need what money I earn to live on, we already live check to check, and I need to find a way that I can cash my checks the few times a year I get them. Can anyone suggest a safer and less stressful way I might do this? Thank you in advance to anyone who replies.