Second chances are for those who deserve it.

I was born into a world of utter confusion. Given up at the age of one and a half to a realtive of the family,I found myself on a emotional roller coaster that was filled with physical and mental abuse. Nothing was ever given or handed to me.
I remember as a child hiding my cousins underwear so that I would have new ones to wear. On the surface it may looked like I was a spoiled child, but in reality I had nothing, and if I did happen to recieve a gift there was a price to pay. Sometimes I think that is the only reason I got anything, to mask the pain that my body was in from the years of abuse.
I use to watch the other children at the school bazaar playing the games that we all sat and created together from the swings near the games, wondering why I couldn't play. As I sat there a classmate of mine came over to me and in a moment of kindness gave me her lollipop and said to me " I hope this makes you smile". I learned to deal without at an early age.
Moving into my teenage years I was reunited with my birth mother, and I thought that my life would change, and that I would finally be happy. Boy was I wrong! My mother never hit me, which I was certainly happy about, but the words that came out of her mouth were more piercing than a slap to the face. Hiding myself from the world, solitary confinement brought upon myself by me, was my salvation. I went to school, and got good grades. I even worked during the summer breaks in programs for young teens, only to have my mother take my paycheck away from me.
I never understood what I did so wrong in life to be treated so unfair. I told myself time and time again that there were children out there that have it worse than me, as a way for me to cope. I missed my all but my Senior Prom in High School. I managed to make that one cause then I was 18 and I could afford it myself.
That is the moment my financial problems started. Money! I finally had my own money to do what I wanted to do. Buy the things that I always wanted. Foolishly of course I had no control. I have never valued the dollar. I felt that I had to have it all. I joined the Military while in my senior year in highschool, and I saw that as my ticket out. I ran, and never looked back. Inedpendant I was, learning and making my own financial mistakes, with no one there to help me get out of a mess. Spend! Spend! I always felt the need to. Have it all!!! You only live once. Boy was I wrong again.
I am now 29 years old. I have given you a glimpse of my past financial irresponsibilty, and you can only imagine the messes I got myself into, and I am sure many can relate. Minus the details of course. I moved around a lot. I attended college, which I have completed yet still have not starting paying towards my student loans. This needs to stop. I put my foot down, and stepped up to the plate. I've been putting my computer to good use, playing with the budget program in excel. Setting goals, and trying to get a grip of myself.
I finally stopped roaming the states, and found a place I will call home, and got a new job that pays pretty decent to start. Though my past still haunts me. Oh! Goal number one: Buy a new Car. I am saving, as it is a start. I am also looking at consolidating my debts into one easy monthly payment. I think I finally learned the value of a dollar. Need I say more? So now I believe second chances are for those who live and learn. Hmmm... that sounds Great!! My second chance is here, wish me luck.