Cheryl

Did you file a police report? If so, contact the lender and provide them with a copy of the police report. They're calling your neighbors because they can't get in touch with you. If you contact them and confirm your contact info, they cannot contact anyone else again.

The problem is that you are either going to have to press charges on your son or take the credit/payoff hit. Tough decision...

You dont have to "file charges against your son," although it could lead to that.
What I suggest you do is to approach this as an "account not mine" matter. Just asserting that an account is not yours lacks any documentation, and usually does not persuade anyone to just delete the reporting. The FCRA provides you at least a limited process for supporting an assertion that an account is not yours. That mechanism is referred to as an "identity theft report." See FCRA 603(q). In a nutshell, it is simply a police report. Being a sworn statement before a law enforcement agency, and carrying criminal penalties for any knowingly false information reported, it carries some evidentiary wieght. YOu dont have to prove identity theft, just alledge it. The theory is that you state that you have no knowledge of having commited to this debt, and therefor it must have been done by another. Ergo, an allegation of possible/probable identity theft. It is not required that you identify the party you suspect of the identity theft, but if you know who it was, omission of such information could potentially be a false statement should they ask you if you have any such knowledge.
Armed with a copy of the police report, you can then obtain a blockage of the information pertaining to the alleged identity theft from your credit report under FCRA 605B. A copy of the identity theft/police report is a prerequisite for such a blockage.
Additionally, an identity theft report is recognized under FCRA 623(a)(8) as being at least some form of documentation to support a dispute of information in your CR that you assert is not information relating to any transaction by the consumer.

I know it is difficult to begin a process that may ultimately lead to criminal prosecution of a loved one, but if you are unwilling to take even those initial steps, you wont be building documention necessary to invoke removal or blockage of the inaccurate information under the provisions of the FCRA.

File a police report, or else just give in.