I need to vent..

Fins,
Go on strike for two days--make him see how much you do around the house! That would wake him up!

LOL, I'm not going to vaccumm. With a shedding dog and a long-haired cat, let's see how long he can take it. I'm thinking about only making dinner for Andrew and I tonight, but would that be mean?

Fins, I can sympathize with you!! I went through that with my husband when the kids were small,too. Finally, I sat him down with a piece of paper of things I needed help with, like one week you pick up and shuffle kids, next week I will,etc. I told him that if I didn't get some relief and help that some things were going to have to be let go of-my cleaning the house,dishes, laundry and cooking- and I followed up on that. For a week we had snadwiches or whatever they could find(I fed the boys in private) didn't do laundry or dishes-it drove me crazy, but he got the hint!! I said, we are either equal partners working for the same golas in our family, or we aren't! Sometimes all it takes is saying, hey, I need help with this-I'm tired too!!Good Luck Love ya girlie..KAren :D

Fins,
there are a lot of us out there with this problem. I had the same issue with my husband and still do to a certain degree. I decided to not do anything for several days (except for the kids) and he got the idea that it was an equal partnership.....duh! I work full time, part time, and take care of a house, three kids, husband and a cat!!! TOO MUCH for anyone!

You guys are wonderful!!! :D Thanks for your empathy and sympathy, it's exactly what I needed right now.

fins, I wish I could give you some advice but I can't. I have the same kinds of problems around my house too. My husband goes to bed before I do, cause he has to get up earlier than I do, comes home, takes a nap till I get home, the sits around all evening, and if I want to go to bed early because I don't have the luxury of taking a nap when I get home, it does no good because he takes all his pain meds and muscle relaxers and makes me get up and take the dogs out for the evening so there goes my sound sleep. But I do love ya!!! *hugs*

Guess we all, as mother's and wives, can relate fins! My husband is ADHD and also OCD! Drives me batty sometimes but then there are other times, like this weekend, where i bust my butt all weekend and he sits on the couch in the family room and hogs the tv ALL day n night! SIGHS!
He sees me running in and out and working but NEVER once ask me if i need anything.....
Also, about the running Andrew around, i get that too! I feel like i'm running in circles most of the time! I did it with the girls for years ALL by myself, i REFUSE now! Just the other day, he and Jacob decide that Jacob's gonna take jazz guitar lessons this week, ALL the way across town! ?? SO hubby tells me to get online and register him and pay for it.... my first thing was WAIT!, i can NOT bring him and pick him up, i work too! SO unless u can help do one, i'm NOT registering him! Needless to say, he suddenly can pick him up and bring him back to work with him in the afternoons!
SIGHS!
So i TOTALLY can relate!
Ang

LOL, I knew I wasn't alone!!

OMG ur NOT alone!
As i was typing this post hubby gets up offa the couch, where he's been ALL weekend and starts walking away, i ask where r u going? he tells me, to take a nap! I had to LOL!! Guess he's tired from all the hard work he did this weekend! ha ha (he knew i was laffing at that and said i'm just bored, been raining out all weekend)
But i really can't complain cuz this is NOT the norm for him to lay around all weekend! He usually doesn't stop.... he'll work out in the yard for hours and hours on end in the heat... i do know that this weekend with all the rain he hasn't been able to go out doors... but ummm... there's PLENTY to do inside too! ;)
Guess that's considered, "my job". *rolls my eyes*
he he he
But i still love him! :D
Ang

hiya fins...

I am on the flip side of this, I guess you can say. I am the husband, and my wife is the biggest blessing! Now, I am not anywhere near lazy, but I could always do more around the house, most of us could I am certain. But my wife is a computer programmer who has been home from work since Hirricane Katrina took our house in 05. We have three daughters that my wife cares for every day. She isplanning on going back to work before too long now, but she does EVERYTHING around here. I help out when I am home, but mostly with our girls. I am out of the house 12 hours or more each day, and I work in the heat....she handles the house and the girls all day. I have no illusions here--she definitely has the busier job! I do more of the cooking, but she does more of basically everything else inside the house. There isnt a more thankless job, I dont think, than being a stay-at-home mom...

So I guess I can empathize with you from the other side. When I am home, I help her out so she can have even just a little time to sit down for once! Tonight I cooked her a nice dinner and we just sat and ate together....guys, better show your woman some appreciation!!

I feel for ya. I'm lucky my husband is the opposite, he usually does more around the house then I do. I have to say that he works a harder job then me. I mostly deal with all of the kids stuff (we have 2) like running them to sports or whatever it may be.

I have to admit when my husband was working and our girls were small, he was very good about doing his part to take care of them, running them to sports, etc. and taking sick time to stay home with them, but he's never been one for housework, sigh......He also never hesitated to stay up with them when they were sick.
He also made a point of getting out of the Navy when his last tour was up after he returned from a deployment on his last submarine and went to pick up our oldest daughter and she cried! I found him later and HE was crying over it--a leading petty officer on a nuclear submarine! He said at that moment he never wanted to go to sea ever again--and a year later, he was out of the service.

Wow very touching KS! :) And sky keep appreciating ur wife. I, also, was a stay at home mom and it is a very hard job and very thankless job! (with NO pay for working 24/7, 365)
Ang

Ya know fins, men suck.

Ok - being a man, I will have to admit I know what you mean. I can be just that kind of guy, and it hurts my wife. Now, somedays, I have nasty back pain, and trying to assist just isn't an option. Most days, though, I am just dragging my butt for no good reason. I hate working outside, but the outside is what needs the most work. I am trying to change myself and be more helpful, but I find myself falling back into lazy habits.

My wife rules. I don't, well - not often enough. It's really a mental thing that only I can change. So if you'd like to contact my wife and create a "lazy husband" club, you both seem to have the right.

Can I be President? :)
Ok, ok guess not cuz my hubby really does a LOT but all of it out in the yard and with the horses... Think he forgets about us and the inside of the house sometimes! :(
Still wanna be a member though!
Happy Monday everyone, (YUCK)
Ang

hey fins...sorry to hear you're having a hard time - trust me, when I see posts like this, I remind myself....TGIS......THANK GOD I'M SINGLE!

I think I'd do as advised by others here..go on strike! Don't cook, clean, transport, pick up/drop off, shop or anything else for 2-3 days. By day 3, he'll be one very grateful and appreciative hubby.

How about a "No Sir" club like Al Bundy's "No Ma'am" club????????? :):):)

LOL Sass!!
Jeff = Al Bundy?
:o
Ang

Hi guys. It's another day. Guess what he did today? He ate the last granola bar and put the empty box back in the cupboard. I will never win.

OMG...my exbf used to do that...now I have been divorced for 18 years and 6 years ago met a guy..and everything went fine for almost 3 years. Then I decided to move into his house. OK..he lets the cleaning lady go...and 3 months later takes early retirement. So I'm working full time, paying half the bills, cleaning the house,doing the yard work...and he sits there all day infront of the tv..he did do the grocery shopping..and that's about it. I talked to him about it endlessly...and I left after 1 year. I will say that his actions or lack there of were definitely part of the reason I left. I felt like a maid instead of a partner and it wasn't what I wanted for me...

OMG fins. I hate when people do that. That happens at my house all the time. Or, I buy something I want, and everyone knows I bought it for me, then the next day when I get home from work, it's gone. :(

Warning Female Thread This should be pinned at the top of the first post! :lol: :lol:

I'm sorry to say you won't get any sympathy here. I am a single parent who does not get child support. I also have to care for my elderly mother with multiple health problems who cannot care for herself. I get up at 2:00 am 7 days a week/365 days a year to run a paper route - rain, snow, sleet, hail, flooding, tornadoes, it doesn't matter - papers have to be delivered. I get home from the paper route in time to shower, get my child up, ready for and to school, then head to my day job, at least 5 days a week, sometimes 6. I have a 45 minute commute each way for my day job. I get home from my day job, pick up my child, go home, cook dinner, supervise homework, do laundry, clean house, do dishes, take out garbage, attend meetings and other volunteer activities at school, get my child to any other extra curricular activities, etc. There's always yard work for weekends. Periodically, I also take on a 3rd job when I have emergency expenses that must be paid - pick up a late shift any place that's open 24 hours. Care to try my life for a week?

Ha ha Cajun! Bet ur the BESTEST hubby ever! ;)

Ok, my turn to rant....
I've been running non stop since school let out, between work, family gatherings, running kid and grands around... and so much more!
It's starting to catch up with me. I"m exhaustd all the time, never feel well rested! Well for some reason, NO one around this house can stand to see me sleep! WTH??? Tonight i was SOOOOOOOOOO tired that i layed down at about 6ish. Was gonna take a "power nap" and sleep for 20 mins or so, so i can get up and start doing things around here!! Well at bout 8ish, hubby comes into the room and wakes me up! (he hates to see me sleeping when he's not) So, i wake up and go into the family room, NO one's in there... I'm like wow where is everyone?? Within minutes both kids are in there talking to me like they havent' seen me in days..... It almost seemed to me like they missed me.... WTH's that all about? It's NOT like i do this EVER!
So, now they woke me up and i'm NEVER gonna sleep tonight! Had they just all left me alone i prolly would've slept till morning and felt great!
Ahh well, such is life i guess.
Ain't it fun being a wife and mother?
:D
Ang

Oh and btw Sass I figured out the trick to having special treats just for u! ;)
Find something that u like that NO one else in the house does! It's amazing! :D
Ang

Cajun does sound like he's definately in the top ten list for hubbies!! :D Any man who spends all that time on the rig is one hard-working man and is alot like the submariners MY hubby used to go to sea with for weeks at a time!
And guest, I appreciate how hard you have it being single with no money from your kids' father--but it's frustrating when you live with your child's other parent, who is equally responsible for the running of the household--and YOU also bring money into the house, and you are expected to do all of the housework like YOU are June Cleaver! I can see both points of view here!

I agree kscornell, we chose as a partnership to get married and have children together, therefore, I feel as if he should help with things around the house as well. I work Full time during the day and a part time night job as well as shuffle 3 teenagers around to practices, etc. I also attend online classes FT. So, although guest, I also appreciate how hard you have it as a single mother, what you are experiencing is NO DIFFERENT than what we experience as Married couples, with husbands that don't help, only difference for me is that it's like adding a 4th child to the picture.

Took the words outta my mouth bf!! The hubby is an added kid!!
We're NOT in any way trying to say we have it worse than u guest.... we're just venting and looking for a little support!
Ang

LOL, jedijeff13, sounds like a good club to start.

We both work full time, some how mine overlooks alot of the house work as it can wait, being a woman it is hard. Sometimes I can't keep up with it all. I do what I can, you should see him scramble if he knows one of his relatives are stopping by, then I don't get in a big hurry.

bflow is exactly right, do you think it is how men are mothered? If you think about it, we do everything for our kids, our sons must just want it to continue through out life, imagine if girls did this too, no one would clean the house, yuck!

Hang in there fins, you are not alone, LOL.

Oh, it definitely has something to do with the way HE was mothered. I know his mother, LOL!!!!
Anyway, she still irons work clothes and cleans house for his little brother (little....um....33!!!). Ridiculous! My husband will come home from work and flop on the couch in front of the TV and there he sits, like a bump on a log until dinner and bed. That's it!! I put laundry in, cook dinner, do dishes. Then before bed, he wants to know if I've ironed his work shirt...DUH, IRON IT YOURSELF! I stopped ironing this week! Really, I did. I'm not just saying that. If they don't come out of the dryer ready to wear, guess what??? He's going to have to iron it himself.

U GO BF!! ;)
Does he wear uniforms? Or dress clothes? There's always the dry cleaners. :D
Ang

He wears dress clothes. So, this morning, he wore a shirt that was not very neatly pressed, POOR HIM!! Sometimes it backfires, once in a while, he'll actually break down and help me, but it only lasts about.....2 SECONDS! Other times, he'll actually give me a bunch of grief like saying: "It's about time you do something around here" OMG....gets the juices flowing..I want to slap him upside his head (I'm usually not violent)!!! So, I'm off today, let's see what I'M NOT GOING TO DO!!!!!

All I can say everyone is that June Cleaver is in a retirement community in Florida........nuff said!!

OMG..Why do men NOT know how to iron?

He came home today with the stomach flu. Andrew and I both had it last week, I went to work with it, racing for the bathroom every 15 minutes, but I made it. Then, when I got home and wanted a nap, it was the end of the friggin' world! Now he's sick..And he has been yelling from the bedroom in this weak little voice. He's just so cold, poor baby. He's the only one who has ever been sick, you know. Anyway, he asked me if I had any fuzzy socks. I said yes. He actually asked me to put some on his feet!! So I got out some big fluffy pastel purple and lime green ones and put them on him. It gave me a little bit of satisfaction seeing him with girly feet.

ROFLMAO good for you!!!!!!!!

LOL, am I just mean?? None of this is helped by the fact that (men reading this I'm sorry..Just go away, your eyes are about to be scorched) I have MONSTER PMS.

OMG!! I'm ROTFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Can picture that in my head!
TOO FUNNY!
U GO FINS!!
Ang

fins, I didnt think it was too mean at all. I thought it was damn hilarious!!!!

Me too Sass, me toooooooooooo!
I'm still laffing and can't get this grin off my face! ha ha
U ROCK FINS!
Ang

I wish my husband would give me the slightest opportunity to do something like that to him, OH BOY, DO I WISH!!!!
That soooooo cracked me up. Thanks soooo much for the smile I just got ladies!!!!!!!!!!