Share post
Debt Consolidation Forums Pub, feedback and announcements forums

I think my relationship of 5 years is over

member profile picture
Posts: 394
Credits: 0
[Donate]

I'm so sad right now.

I've been with my BF for over 5 years which I know is a long time. We definitely had our ups and downs like all couples do. But lately, I just really feel like something is "off".

My BF has 2 kids from his previous relationship. They're great kids and I get along with them well.

I always swore (before him) that I would never date anyone with kids because I couldn't deal with the baggage (this was when I was younger and less mature). With my current BF, I made the exception because he is a really nice guy and we got along well.

Well, to make a long story short, his ex took his kids to North Carolina last year, where she purchased a home. We're in NYC. He now feels as if he wants to be near them, meaning moving to NC. He asked me if I would be willing to do so. I told him no, because I have my family (most importantly, my grandmother, who is 86, and just lost her husband), my friends, my job, etc. I didn't feel it was fair to expect me to uproot my life and just go.

Not to mention his constant financial problems. He's a hard worker, but always struggling to make ends meet. It's been this way always. He complains about it all the time, but as I told him, I have yet to see him actually "do" anything about it.

I'm so distraught because we've been together for so long and now it means starting all over. I told him there's no way I could do a long distance thing, it's just not me. I know his kids are a priority over me, but I guess it's just settling in now.

Thanks for listening, and any advice would be appreciated.




I think you need to let him go . . . . As much as it hurts you to not be with him, think of his kids and how much they need their dad close by.

He is doing the right thing by moving closer to his kids. His kids should come first.

I know it sucks, but maybe it just isn't meant to be. 5 years is a long time . . . . But time will heal it.

Sub: #1 posted on Wed, 08/20/2008 - 11:54

goudah2424 goudah2424

(Posts: 7936 | Credits: )

Try and think of it this way---you are letting go for now. Maybe someday it will work out with him or maybe it won't, only time will tell. Right now, move forward and think abou t the future.

Sub: #2 posted on Wed, 08/20/2008 - 13:13

Lorri Lorri
Moderators
(Posts: 1721 | Credits: )

I also meant to say try not to dwell on it too much and yes, it does get easier---right now it hurts and let it hurt for awhile, jusst don't let it get you down.

Sub: #3 posted on Wed, 08/20/2008 - 13:16

Lorri Lorri
Moderators
(Posts: 1721 | Credits: )

Jen, I know this sucks right now but, I am with Goudah. I think you should let him go too. If you go, you may end up resenting him and if he stays, he may end up resenting you becuase he stayed with you and did not go with his kids.

I am a firm believer in things happen as they are supposed to be.

Sub: #4 posted on Wed, 08/20/2008 - 17:02

RoxyNY RoxyNY
Moderators
(Posts: 4178 | Credits: )

That is true roxyny, we don't always know why something happens---but God knows (thats my belief anyway).

Sub: #5 posted on Wed, 08/20/2008 - 21:47

Lorri Lorri
Moderators
(Posts: 1721 | Credits: )

This reminds me of a good quote I heard. If you love someone let them go.If it is indeed true love they will return. Hope you feel better soon & I can understand his side as I am a daddy too.

Sub: #6 posted on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 03:41

cajunbulldog cajunbulldog
Moderators
(Posts: 4859 | Credits: )

I've been in your situation. Have you discussed your feelings with him. Have you told him everything you have told us on here?

Sub: #7 posted on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 07:52

JCEMT JCEMT
Moderators
(Posts: 2934 | Credits: )

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I can relate because i tried the "If you love someone let them go.If it is indeed true love they will return." like bull dog mentioned but she never came back. However as much as that sucked at the time it just wasn`t meant to be. God had other plans for me and I am now married to a wonderful woman with my first child on the way due October 2. If it doesn't work out remember this. When one door shuts, another opens.

Sub: #8 posted on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 08:07

mobile0311 mobile0311
Moderators
(Posts: 1817 | Credits: )

Congrats on the upcoming baby Mobile!

Sub: #9 posted on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 08:43

goudah2424 goudah2424

(Posts: 7936 | Credits: )

Mobile, good advice. That is one of my favorite sayings too...and it worked out beautifully too. A baby is a wonderful gift, congratulations.

Jen, We can all give you advice and tell you what we think or feel..bottom line is, only you know what is in your heart and what you can live with. We have all given you something to think about to help you think this through. You know what is right for you, you have to trust in yourself and make the best decision you can.

Sub: #10 posted on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 10:53

RoxyNY RoxyNY
Moderators
(Posts: 4178 | Credits: )

Attachment
More information
  • Files must be less than 500 MB.
  • Allowed file types: txt pdf jpg jpeg png.


Page loaded in 1.237 seconds.