Starting to feel sorry for myself

Tweety in my opinion he has lost the title of daddy based on those actions.I raised my stepson from 3 years old.He is now 15 and legally shares my last name.My wife was also a single mom who was at the point that she believed he did not need a dad. She understands the bond me and him share now. All I can say is be honest with your son and don't let feelings get in the way.As far as the child support goes,I would have jailed him by now. :evil: You are being way too nice.

I have filled out all the paperwork on him. I guess there is a governor's warrant for him whatever that means.. of course when I call to get an update on the case they just say they are waiting for him to be picked up... :evil:

Oh Tweety...I can SO identify with your situation - at least in some aspects.

My ex and I split up over 6 years ago - he found someone else. To my oldest, who was from my first marriage, this was devastating, because she was 13 at the time, and knew the reasons behind the breakup, and her father saw her every other weekend, but didn't really "see" her, if you know what I mean. Just did what he had to and threw money at her (as he still does) - my 2nd husband was who she called "dad". Her father was "daddy", but I know "dad" meant more to her - now she wants nothing to do with "dad" and only limited contact with "daddy". My older son was 10 at the time his dad left, so he was confused about it, but wasn't terribly upset (says a lot about the relationship there). My youngest was only 2 when he left, so to him, Daddy has always been gone anyway. None of them have ever said they wanted him to come back. However, the youngest has asked some very tough questions - like "Mom, why don't you have someone to be with like Dad does?" Those are hard questions when the person who always said you were his best friend and the best thing that ever happened to him suddenly decides you aren't, anymore.

Can you and your son get into some counseling, Tweety? I'm not talking long term, but it sounds like he needs someone to help him through this - and it might help you deal with it too. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

Tweety...I to had issues raising my children alone...I have been divorced since 1989 and never remarried...spent my time raising my children...who are now bright and strong adults...when my son was about 10 or 11 we started with questions like that too...their father would see them but always bad mouthed me..and if any little thing occured...sniffles, scraped knee...he would bring them home early. I had the son of a close girlfriend who was older spend some time with my son...kind of man bonding...till he was old enough to "understand" a little about how adults react and that seemed to help him a great deal. Or maybe...does your town have a "Big Brother" program...that might help him too...

tweety, I'm so sorry. I'm sure this is so hard for you and breaks your heart. And my heart goes out to your little son. I don't have any children stories to share, but I do want to let you know that I will be thinking of you and your little son. I do hope things get brighter. And, I'm sorry about your ex & the child support issue. I have to agree, I would have had the man locked up. Not to sound mean, but it sure has been an awful long time since he paid up.

:( Unfortunately my hair is mostly gray now. It was a light brown at one time. On a good note,I still got all my hair. :lol:

If the x is working, they should have no trouble finding him. In some states, deadbeat parents are nailed when the apply or re-new a drivers license, or even a hunting license. It's not like it used to be, when an x could move to another state and never be caught for not paying child support.