how to retain lovedalehpbear

Love is upset because it "costs too much" and takes "too much time" to deal with her debt issues. She wants an easy fix, and doesn't want to hear that it's not like that. She think's mailing letters are too expensive. That is why she is leaving.

I know that many people tried to help her, in fact I think her original thread turned into 28 pages of members assisting her. She said she can't afford to send faxes or mail letters and pretty much said she was giving up.

What a shame. Debt doesn't amass overnight, and it doesn't disappear overnight. It takes time and effort on the debtor's part to resolve the issues. And yes, it takes money.

But I'm sure that's already been explained. Just kind of disappointing that someone could take a stance like that and just give up when the help is there. Just have to take the initiative and do it.

I guess different people different viewpoints. We can have her post her experience of shortcuts to solve debt. As an admin it is very difficult to handle such issues as I don't want to hurt anyone at all. Also I don't have enough time to dig deeper into the issue. I work almost 15 hours a day :).

I will have a talk with her.

- Vikas

If you read her posts she was getting very negative, and passive aggressive.

My concern was if someone new came and read her posts, they would get the impression that dealing with debt by getting help from this site was too expensive, and required too much work. I don't want new people to be scared away because they think it's too hard. It is hard work, but it's well worth the effort.

I sent her a PM asking her why she seemed so defeated in her post and her resonse to me was the same as those mentioned above. I think it may run deeper than we think! She did thank me however and actually looked like she was turning around her feelings for a day or two!

She was pm'ing me also for a few days. However, she didn't seem too enthusiastic. She was just saying that no one is helping her (the government agencies/not us) with her illegal pdls and she doesn't have the time or money to deal with them. I kept trying to talk her into fighting, but obviously it didn't work. Like stated above, we had PAGES helping her. PAGES. And she just said "forget it". I hate to see people give up; however, this one isn't a "fighter". We tried to cheer her on. People were even offering to fax things for her! The answer was always no. It upset me because roxy and I were frantic in the beginning getting her to calm down and getting her straight. Then everyone came to her aid and still she didn't want to do it. So.... as much as I hate to say it, I think she just wants to pretend this will all "go away". It disappoints me.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make 'em drink. There is only so much anyone can do for a person. They have to be willing to take the initiative.

As far as faxing. I do all my faxing online though rapid fax. It's free for 30 days and I forget the monthly cost. You can send as well as receive. The only difficulty is that I do not have a scanner so it does make it slightly more difficult for me to send out a fax that isn't already in my system.

We have worked hard to help...and I am with the masses on this. She has to want to fight and it appears as if she does not. I do know she still visits the site. She does not post much but I have seen her here. I think she has to find it within herself to fight or to stick around. We ALL and I do mean ALL have done everything we can. We at some point have to accept that we can not help someone that does not want to help themselves. I am sad and dissapointed with the situation but there are so many others that post that need us. If she decides to come back and fight, we will be here to help as always.