Despair, frustration, and general dissatisfaction

Ari -

Wow, it sounds like you have so much on your plate right now, and it's making you so unhappy.

Is there some way for you and your husband to do just what you mentioned - fast forward and move to Denmark as soon as possible, or is there a reason you have to stay where you are?

Also, what insurance exam are you taking - life/health, securities, or P&C? (Been there and I remember what that's like!) Insurance is a good field to be in, and the income potential is much higher than the collection field. But if you intend to move, will you be able to find a position in Denmark in the insurance field?

Sorry for all the questions, just trying to find a few bright spots for you - I'm so sorry you're so unhappy. We love you bunches! :D

Ari,
It can and WILL get better. I agree with you collections (or anything at a call center wearing a headset) IS a crappy job. And if you can avoid it, stay out of the National Guard at this point. My fear is that joining will give you a ticket out of the country (and I don't mean Denmark!) Trust me, you don't want to see Iraq in the spring, girl!
Have you thought about putting your experiences on paper? I've been thinking about writing about some of my experiences on the job, to kinda make lemons out of lemonade, if you get my drift. I was inspired by the guy who wrote the movie Clerks.
You have to think about what makes YOU happy and then DO IT! Put down a plan and then go for it!!
And please, post again, OK? We want to know how you're doing!

God I hope you're both right. I appreciate your support very much, I have been feeling awful.

To be perefectly honest, I highly doubt joining the National Guard would get me sent directly to Iraq, but if it did, at least it wouldn't be me blowing my brains out, just to demonstrate how fed up I am with it all.

Oh Ari - I wish that I could help you! I can empathize with you about the job, I know just how you feel. My job sucks too - I had a wonderful job as an executive assistant to the vp of a chemical company when my job was sold out from under me. Out of work for 2 years, then another great job as am exec assist. to the director of a detox center - government funding was cut - so was I. Out of work for 2 more years, and then all of the places that I applied told me I was over qualified! the place that I work now is for over half of what I was making and it is hourly - no sick days - no personal time and barely minimum wasges. I have to work overtime in order to pay my bills. And it raises my bp - something I never had to worry about before. So I understand your low tide. Have you tried someof the employment agencies down there? Even though you are employed -keep sending out you resumes sometimes even if you don't quite fit what they are looking for, but you have some of the qualifications you may get an interview. But for right now, just get through today,and remember you never have to live today again. Don't look at what is down the road - it is way to far. As for you bp - I have found that I can lower mine by meditating and deep breathing. It has a calming effect, it might help you. You have a lot going for you - I know that things will work out for you. Also contact the student loan company,they have been great with me about working out a different payment plan maybe they can help you also until you can get on your feet.

Take it one day, or one hour at a time. And speaking as one who's worked her share of crappy jobs in her time, I can say that we are all works in progress. You'll get there.

Ari! Please don't talk like that. You have a lot of supportive people here standing right beside you. We all care and are concerned about you.

Is there a way for you to take a couple of days off to collect your thoughts or take a break from things, and find someone to talk to? A close friend, a family member, even perhaps a counselor? Just someone to sound off to and bounce ideas off of. Talking to someone in person is SO much different than talking to someone on the internet - you can throw ideas out there and get feedback right away.

Ari,

I'm concerned and I don't like the way you sound right now. Remember, everything is temporary. I understand your local frustration perfectly. Only it's opposite. I'm one of the few native Floridians, a southerner forced to move up north. I've been here 11 years..I fought to lose my accent because I was horribly ridiculed when I first moved here..One person even asked me if my family had slaves back home. I hated it and vowed I would move back south when I was done with school..But here I am still. I can only sympathise and empathise with you on that, I'm so sorry.

Keep your chin up and keep trying. This is only a roadblock, count your blessings. I personally know how talented and brilliant you are.

Oh Ari---I am so sorry that you are so unhappy. I didn't realize you had moved. And the south can be much different than the north (and vice/versa). Well, with any part of the country compared to another really. Have you thought about what kind of work you could do in Denmark? Maybe you could find a job here that could begin preparing you for that? I know all these things sound very trite and I am sorry I can't say something real uplifting. But remember things won't always be this way. I will be praying for you!

I have this weekend and that is all. I just started this job.

My husband is out of state working until Wednesday. He's heard this grievance before and there is nothing he can do about it now. He has to have an international pilot's license before he can take a pilot job overseas.

With my degree, I could be an officer in the ANG. Since post-secondary education is government-funded over in Denmark, my goal is to go back to college and be of all things: an English teacher.

My parents and best friend have also heard this grievance before. My father has even experienced it himself when he was in the AFR and stationed in Biloxi. Even after 200 years since the Civil War, locals down here, many of them hiring managers, still hate Northerners. I never hated anybody.

:( I never hated anyone, and I'm a southerner!

Ari - what type of degree do you have?

I have a BBA.

I know you never hate anyone Michelle! I always thought Southerners were genteel and hospitable just as they are said to be, so before November 2005 I was excited about moving to Pensacola! I thought I'd have twice the friends I had in MA and be able to get a good job in no time!

But it turns out that this is one of those towns where if you want a decent job, you have to know someone.

Ari--It will straighten out. I've been there with the crappy jobs that make you want to barf just thinking about going in.

I had a job at one time that my boss was such an ass I would start shaking and cry on my way to work because I didn't want to go..And I knew if I hurried up and cried on my way in to work, I wouldn't be able to cry as easily while I was there.

You will find something soon. You're so smart and so awesome. Anyone that doesn't want to employ you is no one you'd want to work for anyway. F Them! :)

I love ya. I'm going to PM you my cell # in case you ever need to vent. I'm totally up for it any time you need to, k?

Have you looked into teaching at the community colege or high school down there? Or even putting you name in as a substitute or tutor? I know that my aunt has the same degree and she started teaching at the community college in TN on a part-time basis in the evening, and then they offered her a full ime position after six months. She is teach people in the business community.

I've thought of everything and applied everywhere. It's this town, it's so closed and narrow.

How does one put their name in as a sub or tutor?

You can go to the school district in an around your are, both public and private, also contact the coleges in the area - you never know what they are looking for. You might even what to bring your credential to Job and Family Services in your area.

Ari - give it a shot - you have nothing to loose. And you might get a nice suprise.

I'll give that a try, I hope it does turn out to be fruitful. I was working 4 hours today, and I spent the entire time not just working, but staring at the clock begging time to move faster, and wondering how I got into this mess and how I'm going to budget what little money I'm bringing in. I've been looking for light at the end of this tunnel since about this time last year. Where did it go?

Ari - I just read the saying at the bottom of your post. It is just were you do not want to be. Today is just a sucky day, but it is almost over. And things always look better in the morning. You are so talented and well educated, don't sell yourself short and remember the job that you have right now is just a temorary inconvenience and a means to an end.

Irish--

I agree with you about the three things in life you should never lose.

Me too..But I have one to add...Friends!

Thank you both - and yes friends should be there too - it was a friend who sent it to me.

Ari...

Come back to the South Shore!

I would sell my soul to be back on the South Shore! I would even gladly cope with the snow just to have life as I knew it back. The problem is, it would compromise my husband. He earns extremely well in the Gulf, and we have a house.

Ari, trust me on this.. Don't let homesickness eat you up.

I'm not, I remember the Thomas Wolfe saying "You can never go home" meaning life as I knew it is in the past, and it is more than likely not the same as I remember it up North.

I just wish the employers in this town would look past the surface, but they don't.

Someone will, I promise.

Ari--My Chris is talking my ear off. ANd I have to get to bed soon cuz I have a 5 hour drive ahead of me. :)

Call me tomorrow.

Will do, right after I get off the phone with the ANG recruiter. I hope I catch you when you're with Polly and Fins!
I'm about to turn in myself.

Ari-hey my friend, I just read your posts. I must have ESP, I was thinking about you today, and decided to PM you tomorrow!! Hang in there. Just put one foot in front of the other and take it step by step, even baby steps. What you are feeling and the situation you are in won't last forever, this too shall pass, though it doesn't seem that way at the time. I'm worried about you, I'm here if you need me :D Hug Missy for me!!..Love ya girlie..Karen

Hi Ari - I hope you're feeling better this morning! :D

A night's sleep can always make things seem a little brighter in the morning...and you're more able to come up with ideas to better your situation.

Ari--I'm back in Ohio now.

Call me anytime today, I'll have my phone on most of the day.

Do you have txt messaging on your phone? We can add you to our txt club! :) Especially if you have pix messaging because we send those constantly! :)

Hey Ari,
I hope today has been a better day for you. And if there's no life, money or class where you're at, it's up to you to make them happen, right? Hang in there!

I'm still studying for my insurance license, and I've met with a National Guard recruiter today and got the ball rolling on that. I really do appreciate your concern very much! You and most of the other people around here have been such good friends to me.

Good for you--but I'm still worried about a ticket to Bagdad for you if you go that route....

He said there is a chance, but not much more than that. My stepbrother is in the National Guard, and he actually requested to be deployed, but he's still waiting for them to find him a post.

As requested- I am locking this topic

With order having been restored, this topic is unlocked.

Cool - so I can tell you right in here that you stink, Ari.


:D

JEFF! You are so mean! You're not smelling, Ari--You're smelling your mean attitude! :-P

Jessi - you want an piece of me????

HUH?!?!?

You don't want to mess with THIS, Jeff... 8)

Jeff, you always were a lovable goof!

How is it going Ari? I read your other thread about donating points and you sounded so much better today! I am glad! I e-mailed a friend of mine done in Florida, I am not sure where she lives in conjunction with you, but when she gets back to me I may have a lead on a job for you that may help. She is alos a transplanted northerner and hates it in Florida. So you are not alone.

That is so sweet of you Irish! Thank you ever so much.

I turned in my application to the National Guard, and of course it was unavoidable, my physical exam results from my application to the Army were discovered, the ones where the Army told me not to let the door hit my ass on the way out over a couple of medical things way in the past that don't even hinder me one bit! That infuriates me! There is nothing wrong with me and I deserve a chance god dammit! I was hoping to avoid all that medical document chasing crap. Damn those stupid old fart military doctors! They cut me out based on nothing really! I hate that narrow judgmental crap. Who the hell are they to bar me from the life I want over something that does not control me? I wish to god these people's opinions were not required because they are stupid!

I also re-registered to take the insurance exam again. Hopefully third time is a charm, and this medical crap with the National Guard will just blow over with a waiver.

Ari - do you think that the old medical problems will keep you out of the National Guard? If you have resolved the medical problems and can have an outside doc document this then call who ever is your state senator and congressman down there. See if they can help. My older daughter works for the government and she calls this going congressional. (she works in retired pay and has a lot of retired military and their families who challenge certain rulings.) It is worth a shot.

I just had another thought - My oldest daughter joined the army national guard reserves - she is a prison guard for the state of Ohio - and kept getting passed up for promotions. The last reason that she was given was that the person who got the promotion had service time, so she joined the reserves. Have you tried that? She is graduating on Thursday. She has been gone since August - I have had her little girl here and we can't wait for her to come home! She is an MP.

I know it is, I'm just so sick of it. These fools who think they know what's best for me when they don't know squat about me treat me like porcelain and complicate situations that are not complicated. I don't care what anybody says, some doctors really are stupid.

My recruiter sounds pretty certain he can get a waiver for me. I just wish that waiver could be obtained without having to run willy-nilly all over this crappy town to unearth medical documents. It's a waste of my time and a damn nuisance. i wish I could say I have better things to do, but I don't. I just don't want to be dragged through this nonsense again.

Thank you so much for letting me vent.

Any time! It really helps to have somewhere to vent! Just tackle this like you would a debt. I have a feeling that you will get what you want.

I hope your feeling is a correct one! Would you call it The Irish Gift of Prophecy?